Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not tell DH what the dog has done.

206 replies

fruitstick · 26/09/2022 09:47

We have a dog. He's my dog which DH never wanted but I insisted.

He loves him now, but he's still definitely my dog.

DH works from home and his office is off our living room.

I'm always telling him to keep things off the floor etc but it's completely full of crap.

Recently he bought a limited edition print. It wasn't super expensive (£25) but signed and he was really pleased with it and it can't be replaced.

It was in a poster tube in his office waiting to be framed.

The dog took it into the garden this morning and has eaten it. Both ends of the tube (and print) chewed.

I swiped it before DH could see and tried to get a replacement but they are sold out.

Shall I just hope he forgets he ever bought it? Or fess up?

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 26/09/2022 10:34

OMG! I don't envy you, OP..

WickedSerious · 26/09/2022 10:35

I'd tell him the dog ate it and if it was that precious it shouldn't have been left on the floor.

Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 10:37

It's not your fault, OP. He can't leave things around. I had some lovely shoes that were chewed up by my lovely dog when we first had her. They stop doing it eventually.

SleeplessInEngland · 26/09/2022 10:38

fruitstick · 26/09/2022 10:23

There is every possibility DH will forget he bought it.

That would still be lying by omission.

Just tell him. He'll get an 'I told you so' but he loves the dog so that'd be it.

dontgobaconmyheart · 26/09/2022 10:40

Treading on eggshells because of his emotional maturity seems a bit depressing, I don't think you should really have to feel worried about this as you seem to be OP - you aren't responsible for what's happened or his emotions. Lots of people struggle with their mental health but that isn't an excuse to be unreasonable to those around you because you are disappointed with something when small things like this can be expected to happen in life with some regularity for everyone.

Yes, he will very reasonably be disappointed, anyone would and initially feel annoyed but the dog has no idea what it's chewed and these things happen, nothing can be done about it now. I'd expect a normal person to recover from it pretty quickly after a bit of an 'oh ffs, that was limited edition', before accepting it and moving on. Ultimately he left the door open and you've tried to replace it, which you'd hope he would have the good grace to appreciate (sounds unlikely). I'd not expect to be blamed, sulked at or complained at or for him to try and take it out on the dog after the fact. That says more about him than anything else if it is the case.

I'd just leave it and wait for him to comment, if it's that precious to him presumable he'll notice soon when he goes to frame it or put it up etc.

CantTalkFacts · 26/09/2022 10:40

You could try contacting the artist to get a replacement?

Hymnulop · 26/09/2022 10:40

OP get one of those things on his office door so it closes itself when left open. Like a weighted thing that goes on the top of the door. It's his own fault but for the sake of his apparent poor mental health I wouldn't tell him and see if you can sort it in the mean time, only tell him if he notices its missing.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 26/09/2022 10:41

@fruitstick

cross posted with you AGAIN!

considering you said he might not notice & his MH issues, I'd just hide it/dispose of it & move on. You've got enough on your plate without worrying about a cheap poster.

How about getting an automatic door closer (about £20) but that's for a hinged door, not a slider & not great if the door is glass.

what help us DH getting for his MH?

what help are you getting to cope with it?

you should see if you can do any training with DDog to stop the chewing. There are various approaches, I favour the 'your chew toys' approach (rather than the NOTHING) approach. What breed is DDog?

Localher0 · 26/09/2022 10:41

I'd take it to be framed properly or do yourself with a mount that hides the chewed bits). Then gift yo him as a gift 😬😬😬

SweetLittlePixie · 26/09/2022 10:43

Nah dont tell him!
If he asks: “How would I know where you put it.” 🤷🏻‍♀️

fruitstick · 26/09/2022 10:43

CantTalkFacts · 26/09/2022 10:40

You could try contacting the artist to get a replacement?

I've done that. Hopefully he'll get back to me and then I can tell DH.

OP posts:
MistyRock · 26/09/2022 10:43

Just get another one (unsigned) and fake the signature.

fruitstick · 26/09/2022 10:44

MistyRock · 26/09/2022 10:43

Just get another one (unsigned) and fake the signature.

Genius.

I'm not sure I can. But genius.

OP posts:
MelodyPondsMum · 26/09/2022 10:45

I don't think your DH should have to tidy his office floor and shut doors for a dog that isn't his and that he never wanted. You need to find a better way to manage and control your dog.
As for the print, look on resale sites too.

AxolotlEars · 26/09/2022 10:45

If the roles were reversed what would you want your husband to do or say?

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 26/09/2022 10:45

CantTalkFacts · 26/09/2022 10:40

You could try contacting the artist to get a replacement?

It's probably just a motorbike/car/sports team/ type of thing for £25. He'll be able to get another copy/something virtually identical without contacting the source of the original. Limited Edition for modern stuff means very little these days.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 26/09/2022 10:46

I thought lies in a relationship were a big NO here on MN?
Or is it only when being lied to by the male partner?
Your dog was not supervised, it destroyed something, you take responsibility like an adult.

kingtamponthefurred · 26/09/2022 10:48

The fault lies mainly with whoever forgot to close the door, but if you lie by omission to your husband, you would effectively be prioritising your dog over your relationship.

StarDolphins · 26/09/2022 10:48

I’d just tell him
& hopefully he can learn from in & either keep stuff off the floor or keep the door shut!

LuckyLil · 26/09/2022 10:48

Keep trying to get a replacement, you may still find one but please please make sure your other half remembers this one small thing - if you're going to tell a dog off for doing something it needs to be at the time they are doing it, not afterwards. If you do it hours or days later (when your other half finds out!) it will be too long from the incident for the dog to be able to make a connection between what he did wrong and the telling off. He will just be confused and see you as unstable leaders who blow up when he hasn't done anything and won't understand why. And of course it's the fault of whoever left it in his reach anyway, as I always remind my partner whenever the socks he left on the floor get ripped up.

LuckyLil · 26/09/2022 10:50

MelodyPondsMum · 26/09/2022 10:45

I don't think your DH should have to tidy his office floor and shut doors for a dog that isn't his and that he never wanted. You need to find a better way to manage and control your dog.
As for the print, look on resale sites too.

Obviously never going to be a dog in your household lol

JimmyShoo · 26/09/2022 10:51

I would take it to a bin far far away and feign innocence if asked. It makes me sad when a dog gets into trouble.

I’m a very honest person generally but I’d lie for my dog without a second thought.

SoupDragon · 26/09/2022 10:51

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 26/09/2022 10:46

I thought lies in a relationship were a big NO here on MN?
Or is it only when being lied to by the male partner?
Your dog was not supervised, it destroyed something, you take responsibility like an adult.

This.

just tell the truth.

KangarooKenny · 26/09/2022 10:52

It’s not the dogs fault. Anything in its reach is fair game.
Let him sulk and strop if he wants, hopefully he will learn from it.

ScruffGin · 26/09/2022 10:53

I'd get rid of it and deny all knowledge! But try to get a replacement...
Also consider an automatic closer for his office door to prevent further incidents