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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to look after someone else's drunk DC?

273 replies

demo2026 · 23/09/2022 23:59

As title says.

DD went out tonight with her friend and the plan was for him to sleep at ours, he's done this loads of times before so I agreed as I didn't think they'd be too drunk, DD is fine, her friend however isn't, he's been sick a few times and I can't even get a conversation out of him, I messaged his mum and she said she's on holiday and she'll try and call his grandad but that was about half an hour ago and I've not had a message from her.

Aibu for not wanting to look after someone else's drunk child?

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock1 · 24/09/2022 10:33

If he’s absolutely mortal and chundering everywhere out of control then just chuck him in the garden to sleep it off. Standard protocol.
Yea if you're prepared to face a criminal or manslaughter charge for your actions if anything happened.

TakeawayManAlan · 24/09/2022 10:36

EmeraldShamrock1 · 24/09/2022 10:33

If he’s absolutely mortal and chundering everywhere out of control then just chuck him in the garden to sleep it off. Standard protocol.
Yea if you're prepared to face a criminal or manslaughter charge for your actions if anything happened.

What? Are you delusional?

TakeawayManAlan · 24/09/2022 10:37

EmeraldShamrock1 · 24/09/2022 10:33

If he’s absolutely mortal and chundering everywhere out of control then just chuck him in the garden to sleep it off. Standard protocol.
Yea if you're prepared to face a criminal or manslaughter charge for your actions if anything happened.

Do you really think you’re obliged to follow a particular course of action if a stranger shows up at your door smashed off their tits?

Not that it matters anyway as this kid is not going to end up dying off a few too many ciders

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 24/09/2022 10:46

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 10:15

@Maisymoomoo22

That poster was being sarcastic...

Ffs some on here need a head wobble

It's sometimes hard to tell. Lots of posters want to 'log it with 101' so may be the same school of thought!

BungleandGeorge · 24/09/2022 10:48

It’s definitely not common for 17 year olds to get plastered (vomiting, incoherent) every single weekend, that would be parental neglect to allow that. That’s not what this lad has done as he’s usually ok but obviously had too much tonight. If mum is on holiday is he living in the house alone? You’re not wrong to be annoyed OP, why should you have to deal with it but unfortunately as an adult you will have to. I’d say no to him staying for the foreseeable and Possibly no to any guests if your daughter is refusing to assist looking after him.

ancientgran · 24/09/2022 10:55

If I was you I'd be furious with your DD and I wouldn't be letting her have any friends to stay.

JassyRadlett · 24/09/2022 11:19

The small% who don’t are usually nerdy socially awkward types

TBH, I WAS the nerdy socially awkward type and still have vivid memories of my dad coming to collect hungover me from a mate's house the next morning on more than one occasion.

The first time I think I was nearly 17. He showed up with my sunglasses and a takeaway coffee, bless him.

RampantIvy · 24/09/2022 11:22

when she was 17 she was drinking at parties etc, I knew about it but I thought that's what most teens did, didn't think it was so unusual!

It is what most teens do IME. DD, who is now 22, told me the other day that she doesn't really drink a lot and didn't go overboard very often at university because we didn't demonise alcohol or ban her from drinking it until she was 18.

As she didn't turn 18 until after she left school (July birthday) it was unrealistic to expect her not to drink at 18th birthday parties etc. I also felt that if she was going to overdo it she should be in a safe place with trusted friends rather than in a nightclub with random strangers.

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 24/09/2022 11:27

I mean what is there to go other than give him small amount of water and a bucket? Your daughter sounds very silly and if this was my daughter I would be angry at her for not looking after her friend. It doesn't sound like they are mature enough to drink

FindingMeno · 24/09/2022 11:29

I worry about alcohol poisoning, but don't really know the crossover point to that from being as pissed as a billy goat but not needing medical intervention.
I would rather stay up and keep an eye on them than get it wrong.

MermaidEyes · 24/09/2022 11:34

Your dd sounds like she needs an empathy check. My dd has been out with friends who've been absolutely plastered and they've done everything they can to make sure friend is conscious and ok, just as my friends and I did 30 years ago.

mrsmccormick · 24/09/2022 11:38

The drunk teenager strategy:

Tarp down, cover it with a towel.
Haul them onto it in recovery position.
Bucket/bowl next to the head.
Big bottle of water next to them.

Fin.

Branleuse · 24/09/2022 11:41

If hes acting in a way that your dd thinks is funny, then tbh he probably just needs some food and to sleep it off with a sick bucket next to him.
No need to overreact about it.
Id tell your dd though that this is not to happen again though, as its a pisstake

MelodyPondsMum · 24/09/2022 11:44

Good that he's sleeping it off but I'd be rethinking the parameters of that friendship. I don't think it's fair on your DD that his parents have designated her the only sensible friend he can drink alcohol with ... she's not his babysitter. If his parents can't trust him or his other friends then they need to deal with that, not put the responsibility on to your DD.

Taillighttoobright · 24/09/2022 11:44

TakeawayManAlan · 24/09/2022 10:31

Hilarious isn’t it 😂😂

There’s probably less than 5% of 17 year olds in this country who don’t get plastered every weekend

And rightly so. It’s part of growing up

The small% who don’t are usually nerdy socially awkward types

Show quote history

I know many, many 17 year olds who fall into your 5%!
They are working hard at their studies to get into the universities they hope to go to, and they work at the weekend to save money for this next stage of their life. They have got their heads seriously screwed on right.
occasionally there’s a big blow-out, like after mocks or when school breaks up, but otherwise they’re steady, responsible, motivated kids.
Different shoals with different goals, I suppose.🤷‍♀️

MelodyPondsMum · 24/09/2022 11:48

Younger generations are drinking much less alcohol than we did so the poster who thinks 95% of 17-yr-olds drink alcohol is really out of touch.

MrsMoastyToasty · 24/09/2022 11:51

Start frying bacon. The smell will either make him get up for some breakfast or he'll want to leave to escape the smell.

Then start hoovering outside his room if that fails, accompanied by you singing or have some music on (bagpipe music is ideal).

Kite22 · 24/09/2022 12:08

TakeawayManAlan · 24/09/2022 10:31

Hilarious isn’t it 😂😂

There’s probably less than 5% of 17 year olds in this country who don’t get plastered every weekend

And rightly so. It’s part of growing up

The small% who don’t are usually nerdy socially awkward types

Show quote history

Don't be ridiculous

ddl1 · 24/09/2022 12:08

Whammyyammy · 24/09/2022 00:00

Call him an ambulance

There aren't enough ambulances at present for real medical emergencies, so someone's drunk kid MIGHT get one sometime within the next month. Not really a practical solution right now.

RampantIvy · 24/09/2022 12:09

There’s probably less than 5% of 17 year olds in this country who don’t get plastered every weekend

I would hazard a guess that it is far, far more than 5%.

ddl1 · 24/09/2022 12:19

TakeawayManAlan · 24/09/2022 10:31

Hilarious isn’t it 😂😂

There’s probably less than 5% of 17 year olds in this country who don’t get plastered every weekend

And rightly so. It’s part of growing up

The small% who don’t are usually nerdy socially awkward types

Show quote history

It's likely that most teenagers have occasionally got drunk underage, yes. But 'plastered every weekend'? Most of the teenagers whom I know couldn't afford to, apart from all other reasons!

PrincessNutella · 24/09/2022 12:40

You knew they would be drinking. You allowed them to go. You knew they would be returning to your home. This is your responsibility.

Aubriella · 24/09/2022 12:45

PrincessNutella · 24/09/2022 12:40

You knew they would be drinking. You allowed them to go. You knew they would be returning to your home. This is your responsibility.

Eh? Some random 18yo is not OP’s responsibility. Stop treating adults like snowflakes.

pinok · 24/09/2022 12:46

DD, who is now 22, told me the other day that she doesn't really drink a lot and didn't go overboard very often at university because we didn't demonise alcohol or ban her from drinking it until she was 18.

This! There’s always that one or two people at uni who can’t handle their drink and go completely overboard/crazy with the freedom (and generally a pain the ass for everyone else) because their parents were super strict on alcohol and curfews etc and they can’t just can’t handle it.

2bazookas · 24/09/2022 12:46

demo2026 · 24/09/2022 00:38

I'm not giving her the choice but if I didn't look after/keep an eye on him she wouldn't as she thinks it's hilarious

Do make sure DD deals with his vomit and cleans up your bathroom after. She won't be laughing quite so hard then.

I'd call a taxi and put them both in it; she can take him back to his place. Make sure DD and BF pay the fare themselves.

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