To not want to look after someone else's drunk DC?

[demo2026]

As title says.

DD went out tonight with her friend and the plan was for him to sleep at ours, he's done this loads of times before so I agreed as I didn't think they'd be too drunk, DD is fine, her friend however isn't, he's been sick a few times and I can't even get a conversation out of him, I messaged his mum and she said she's on holiday and she'll try and call his grandad but that was about half an hour ago and I've not had a message from her.

Aibu for not wanting to look after someone else's drunk child?

When my ds recently brought his friend home because the friend was very drunk & ill. Ds looked after him but knocked on my bedroom door to let me know who the strange teen was on our sofa clutching a bowl. I would have looked after him because I would want someone to do the same for my ds should he be in a similar situation.

My DD aged 17 got so drunk at a party she was sick everywhere. The mum was so kind and looked after her. Very grateful. Next day DD mortified. She bought flowers for the mum. I’d look after him. Teen territory.

We can't all be perfect, unfortunately. Is it exhausting polishing your halo?

I was hardly a wild teen, far from it, but there were many occasions when I vomited after drinking too much. I know it's not healthy and wise, but getting drunk was entirely normal.

I can only assume from the shock and over-reaction of many of posters is that they are not from the U.K. and had very different drinking cultures when they were growing up, or they've somehow got amnesia. I'm not condoning it, it's just how it was in the 90s and 00s, so I don't see why today's parents are so freaked out by it!

Seriously? I simply can't believe that you never even experienced others being very drunk in your youth. Are you Rapunzel?

True, you just got on with it... locking yourself in the loo. There was one occasion I did call an ambulance when someone was completely unresponsive and couldn't be roused in any way at all. The paramedics weren't impressed when they arrived I can tell you!

Surly been a mum, you should treat him, how you would want another mum, to treat your daughter.
My son is only 15, so I have this to come, but if my son came home with a friend in this sate, I would keep an eye on him, till the vomiting stopped. Then get him to bed, on his side, recovery position, with his chin tippped down, to stop him choking. Then I would probably check on him in the night.
I know this sounds a lot, but I couldn't live with myself, if anything happened to him.
I would also hope, if my son got that drunk and was at a friend's, there mum would look after him in the same. Treat him as if he was your daughter.

How bad was the accident ?
What’s the emergency?
People like you are the reason for the overburdening A/E depts. Ridiculous comment.

This is what is wrong in the UK. People have no limits any more and think it is perfect ok to let under age children go out drinking.
For goodness sake, an aperitif before a meal, a glass or two of wine with the food, but this?
No wonder the country is going down the pan, no limits, no shame.

I cannot believe someone would be able to go to bed and ignore a drunk teen … and moan about having to care for him…
I’d be awake all night worrying anyway…
as others have said I’d want a responsible parent to look after my child if they got in this state regardless of their age.

Nobody actively wants to look after another drunk human but I would certainly do it, especially a teenage friend of my child, as I would hope their parents would for mine. Human decency.

Any more?

Did you live in the U.K. 20-30 years ago? Young people drank far more, and far younger in general than they do today. Underage binge drinking was the norm, and pubs and clubs turned a blind eye. I remember many a school party in venues where a tiny proportion were over 18, and 13-14 year olds were drinking. This was everywhere.

The youth of today are far more restrained with drinking, and parents and society generally far less tolerant of underage drinking. The notion that things have "got worse" is the absolute opposite of reality.

You are being unreasonable.

I think you're being unreasonable and a bit full of yourself. When my 16 year old had a party a few of them ended up drunk and I hung out with them until they felt better. One poor girl had her head in the toilet and I made sure she was OK. Grab a cool face washer and just be there. Do for them what you would want some else's caring parent to do for your child and maybe get over yourself in the process.

This happened to me when I was a teen, my friend got drunk and was staying overnight, my parents gave me a bowl and water and a damp flannel, and told me to look after her through the night so she didn't choke, I did exactly that, (we were 15 and it was in the 80s) it taught me a valuable lesson. Your daughter should grow up and look after her friend.

You are NOT being unreasonable not to want to look after your DD's drunk friend, i.e. SOMEONE ELSE'S drunk child. It is NOT normal for teens (or anyone else) to drink so much they vomit.

That being said, I think you are in a position where you have to take care of the drunk child. You have to be the responsible adult in the situation. Being drunk and vomiting is not a reason to call the ambulance, though unless the drunk person is so sick they need to be hospitalized.

Once the friend has become sober, and his immediate need is over, you should make it clear to your daughter, and the friend's family that this is a one-off situation, and you will not be responsible for caring for their drunk child again. If this means telling your daughter that if he is drunk, the friend is not welcome in your home again, or even that she can't bring him over under ANY circumstances, etc. etc., that is entirely reasonable. Once is enough.

Did you never have any experiences as a teenager, OP? Normal ones such as getting drunk and going back to a friends house? Even as a young adult?

I hope someone would look after my teen/young adult. It's not going to kill you. Don't be a prude. Take one for the team and put your hanky back up your sleeve.

Its not an ideal situation but I don’t see this as the end of the world. I guess this is not something that happens regularly so you could show a bit of kindness, you never know if one day it will be your daughter the one that needs help.

My mum was always very welcoming with my friends, even when we were a bit noisy at home and sometimes had parties and someone ended drunk (we were all young !!), she even cooked us meals and gave us lectures too but my friends respected her. Now, 30 years later they are always asking about my mum and reminding me how lovely she is. I hope I can be half the lovely mother she is.

This!

This exactly!

Did mum contact you day after to say sorry /thanks

anything from grandad

I find it weird mum on holiday abroad and no one about fir the child. Yes they are 17 but very different 17 and home alone fir a few days /week

Don't waste time on an ambulance
Take one for the team

I would look after him as I also have a 17 year old and would hope this would be the case I'd he was on a sleepover at a friend's house.. I certainly wouldn't be calling an ambulance that's just a silly idea he is just drunk and he or his parents won't thank you for it he will be fine in the morning and deeply regretful