To not want to look after someone else's drunk DC?

[demo2026]

As title says.

DD went out tonight with her friend and the plan was for him to sleep at ours, he's done this loads of times before so I agreed as I didn't think they'd be too drunk, DD is fine, her friend however isn't, he's been sick a few times and I can't even get a conversation out of him, I messaged his mum and she said she's on holiday and she'll try and call his grandad but that was about half an hour ago and I've not had a message from her.

Aibu for not wanting to look after someone else's drunk child?

You agreed your underage daughter and her underage friend could go out drinking, you’re dealing with the consequences 🤷🏼‍♀️

And I hope someone will do the same for your daughter one day if they need to.

@MrsRuggles Your daughter and her friend need to be aware of the dangers of alcohol and this should be the trigger for some learning.

Absolutely.

The law has been changed with regard to Consent in rape cases which means prosecuting offenders is easier but this doesn't stop it happening.

www.cohencramerpi.co.uk/being-too-drunk-to-remember-is-not-consent-in-rape-case/

I am not sure why his parents are on holiday in the first place - he is 17 and clearly too immature to be left on his own.

I would not be happy and would be communicating with the parents, they are entirely irresponsible. Poor kid.

Did people on MN never do anything underage? So much judgement about 'letting' her daughter go out drinking. How exactly do you stop a 17 year old going out drinking? How did your parents stop you?

So his mother knows he is drinking

I would not be happy either legally under age and my responsibility
no fair

Somebody’s child going out driving wouldn’t be sleeping at mine for the night…

I can barely tolerate clearing up vomit from my own much younger DC 🤢

@Whataplanker Did people on MN never do anything underage? So much judgement about 'letting' her daughter go out drinking. How exactly do you stop a 17 year old going out drinking? How did your parents stop you?

I was brought up to be responsible.

On a Friday night at that age I was always 'early to bed' because I had to get up early the next day for my Saturday job. I was earning money and saving it for when I went to Uni.

Well given I pay for everything including teen phones - I would have boundaries in place. My teens are expected to respect our home and values, within reason. If my dd17 was out getting so drunk with her friends and one was unconscious we would be having serious conversations about safety and our expectations, if she continued after that her privileges would be gone. Phone, lifts and money until we had an agreement with her about future conduct and behaviour.

We are still legally and morally parents and I am obliged to keep my children safe whether they are 7 or 17 - they are still minors. It is called: Parenting and is still required at 17!

Yeah I wouldn't be impressed but I'd look after him. My dd is 18 and she knows not to leave a drunk friend alone, thankfully she's quite responsible and I'm yet to have any drunk friends in my house but if it happened I'd look after them and have words in the morning

Yep ambulance is what’s needed. IV drip, maybe admitted for a week and referral to mental health.

OR - back in the real world

Its a teenager who doesn’t appear to have form for this who has had one too many and feeling the effects. Understandable OP is a bit annoyed at another kids vomit so that gives her the right to administer a stern bollocking tomorrow along with some paracetamol.

Your DD shouldn’t be drinking at all if she doesn’t understand the dangers of alcohol poisoning. She is old enough to be looking after her friend and guest.

My 17 year old doesn't go out drinking. She drinks at house parties, but only to a reasonable amount, and she knows to use water to dilute and that when the room starts to spin, she stops. Hitting the sweet spot and not tipping into messy is a skill to be taught!
She is also working and studying so this very rarely happens - maybe twice a year - because she has her goals that she needs sleep and sobriety for. Not all teenagers want to go out drinking, and so don't need stopping. Don't judge us for feeling content that we have raised responsible young people with aspirations beyond breaking the law for drunken shits and giggles.

YABU

You said he can stay yours and therefore you are the responsible adult.

Once he’s got all of his sick out and eaten some food then he’ll just sleep it off.

He shouldn’t need much looking after and I’d hope this was the first and last time it will happen as he’ll learn his lesson.

Your DD sounds very selfish though.

YABU

Part and parcel of having a teen imo, you'd be annoyed if an adult refused to look after your DD if she was drunk and staying round her friends house.

Maybe your DD has inherited your lack of empathy

And I hope someone will do the same for your daughter one day if they need to.

Exactly this!

😂 cringing for you

FFS the kids are 17, they got pissed. No major deal, it won’t be the last time. You should of left him to sleep it off.

for the idiot who said call an ambulance, get a f*k*g grip!

It’s obviously not pleasant but the parents are away, they’re not just refusing to get him. Your daughter is old enough to keep an eye on him, unless she’s drunk herself (which it sounds like she very much is if she thinks it’s so funny you can’t trust her to look after him if he’s sick). If she’s not drunk and you don’t trust her to keep an eye out then you need to start giving her more responsibility, I had a very sheltered upbringing but could definitely keep an eye on a drunk friend with my mum asleep in the house by 17.

Yabu. When you agreed to have a child stay at yours you became responsible for looking after him, even in this shitty situation.

I would however ban DD from having any overnight guests for 6 months. She should have looked after him, not you.

I've been on both sides of this when mine were teens.

Ok, it's not great fun but it's not the end of tbe world.

I've had phone calls from parents saying ' just to let you know he's not in great shape but he's at ours and we'll keep an eye on him' I've also been the one to make the call. It's not like it's every week ie even month.

As if an ambulance would even turn up for a drunken teen, in a safe place. They do triage the calls you know.

Everyone jumping on this comment it depends HOW drunk they are, I called an ambulance for a 15 year old who everyone told me 'dont waste their time' but he ended up having his stomache pumped and being kept in for a week.

Alcohol is technically toxic it can do long term damage and kill... I know several people who have died from alcohol (not just long term damage but acute poisoning and choking on vomit).

Im sure only OP can know if it would be a 'waste of time' non of us can see how bad this kid is.

Alcohol overdoses are as dangerous as drug overdoses... of course they show up they have a legal obligation too.

People are being really dense about how dangerous alcohol can be, there are 9000 deaths per year from alcohol.

Cringing at the perfect parents and children.

I hope if my teen DS is ever in the situation he feels able to bring his friends here and know they will be safe and not judged. In return I would like to think his friends parents would do the same.

He's not yet that old but knows if he or friends are ever having trouble stick together and call us.

Towels down, sleep on side, provide water and paracetamol plus a bucket in case they can't make toilet (or sleep on bathroom floor)

Not an ideal evening but you'd like to think someone returned the favour if it was other way round.

For future reference, please never feed a drunk person toast

massive choking hazard

let them be sick, drink water, and sleep on side