To not want to look after someone else's drunk DC?

[demo2026]

As title says.

DD went out tonight with her friend and the plan was for him to sleep at ours, he's done this loads of times before so I agreed as I didn't think they'd be too drunk, DD is fine, her friend however isn't, he's been sick a few times and I can't even get a conversation out of him, I messaged his mum and she said she's on holiday and she'll try and call his grandad but that was about half an hour ago and I've not had a message from her.

Aibu for not wanting to look after someone else's drunk child?

Whether or not its self inflicted, the child is ill, his mum is out of the country and someone needs to help him. Why can't people just be kind when it's needed. Obviously a strongly worded conversation in the morning, including with DD, is appropriate, but for now you just have to be a grown up.

Well she sounds to be far too immature to being going out to parties involving alcohol then and harsh words needs to be bad with both of them in the morning.

Silly girl.

Have you never seen (or even been) a drunk teenager before?
What kind of sense so you want to get out of him?
Just put him to sleep on his side so if he vomits he doesn’t choke. On the kitchen floor if need be to avoid ruining furnishings.

And in the morning make him clean up any mess, and have strong words and don’t let him stay over again.

Your daughter needs a harsh conversation. Giggling and finding it hilarious that her Nate is drunk and her mum is upset by it at the age of 17. Ridiculous.

HNRTFT but I have had a few pissed teenagers stay overnight over the years ! Lie on side with a bucket and the chances are he will just sleep very well .
I would also try and get toast and water into them .

Let’s hope she finds it equally amusing when you hopefully tell her she can never have anyone to stay over again.

I am so glad my parents never acted like some of the people on this thread. MN is great for reminding you what sort of parent you don’t want to be.

This sort of recently happened to me but i ended up with two drunk teens! One was my own though.
I got the two kids who weren't drunk to look after one drunk kids and I looked after the other. We held sick bowls and gave them water. And kept them upright. And sat up with them until 2am checking on their breathing. But they are under sixteen and this was their first.
I hope another parent would be as kind to my kids if it happened again.
depends on the age abs the frequency in your case OP

Oh yes loads and loads of water. Toast didn't stay down.

As for giggling. I found it pretty funny (other than worrying about alcohol poisoning) And spent quite a lot of time chortling. But if the sober ones hadn't helped I would have been cross.

The blood alcohol level will stop rising about 1.5-2 hours after the last drink so once that has past they should slowly be getting less drunk. Provided they have stopped vomiting and are breathing normally at that point it's probably fine to leave them. Don't force them to drink water if they are actively vomiting. Only call an ambulance if their breathing become irregular.

I'd stay with him still he's stopped vomiting, then recovery position on bathroom floor (assuming no other children in house) with a couple of towels under him, a towel over him or a blanket and a folded towel for a pillow and a glass of water. Then all messes are easily cleanable

Check on him intermittently, you are stuck in loco parentis unfortunately

And yes nobody want to do it but it is what it is. I wouldn't be bothering grandparents at gone midnight.

Been there and got the tee shirt. With a minor in your house, you are responsible for them. However annoying. Your daughter and her friend need to be aware of the dangers of alcohol and this should be the trigger for some learning.

I would hope that some one would take care of my child in this situation, there's nothing one can do if away. We don't know grandad's situation.

Teens can be very irresponsible. Once, I woke in the early hours of new years day to strange noises. Found a few of my child's friends and my child trying to sleep on the trampoline in freezing temperatures. There was snow. The noise was them taking out duvets and trying not to disturb me. Eh, I can laugh now but somewhat inebriated teens thinking sleeping outside in those conditions was a good idea. Oh dear. Dragging them all in and getting places for them to sleep it off, not what I really wanted but that was it. We can laugh about it now.

Making mistakes is part of growing up. Really, as an adult, I still make mistakes. Don't we all?

I would look after him. It's not fun but while he's at yours I would just get on with it. You can deal with your daughter later and think about the consequences for her. She should be looking after her friend - this kind of thing happened a lot when my friends and I were 16/17, and we never had to involve our parents. It's a lesson for everyone about what can happen and how to deal with it next time!

You kinda expect him to be drunk though? If it concerns you, then say no for next time.

No, it’s selection bias, not confirmation bias.

If you want to act as though you know better than others you need to stop using phrases that you understand.

Look after him.
have a stern word with him in the morning.
tell Dd he’s not welcome to stay again.

Just after him like a sensible adult. At some point one of DD friends parents will look after DD . It's swings and roundabouts.

Yabu. He needs to be minded so mind him. It's what decent people do

One last thing we did have a chat in the morning and I said to remember how vulnerable drink made them and they should never abandon a drunk friend. I did t get angry but that's because it was the first time.

Didn't

Look after him to make sure he doesn't vomit and choke. I've looked after many drunk people who weren't related to me! It's what you do, people have looked after me in my teenage years too & I'm grateful to them.

They are 17!

What do you think that age do when they go out. Sit round drinking lemonade.

Yes, they are underage but the majority of kids past and present have done/do the same.

Hopefully grandad picked him up and all is well op?

I am glad that my kids had parents that thought like me: Rule number one , never abandon a drunk mate. Rule number two, never be afraid to seek help from us if you are in a mess.

If you let them know you will be angry you risk them leaving a Nate, or a mate leaving your own Dd, if they are too drunk to get home, or need to get back by curfew.

It’s part of parenting teens. Serious discussion in the morning, fine. But if it was the other way around and you were away would you want the lad to be afraid of his parents’ anger in taking your drunk Dd back home?

Exactly this.