To not want to look after someone else's drunk DC?

[demo2026]

As title says.

DD went out tonight with her friend and the plan was for him to sleep at ours, he's done this loads of times before so I agreed as I didn't think they'd be too drunk, DD is fine, her friend however isn't, he's been sick a few times and I can't even get a conversation out of him, I messaged his mum and she said she's on holiday and she'll try and call his grandad but that was about half an hour ago and I've not had a message from her.

Aibu for not wanting to look after someone else's drunk child?

@Snoozer11 No need for that.

I would be punishing DD in the morning (probably by grounding her) and giving her a lecture about the dangers of choking on vomit. I do know of someone who died this way (they were on their own).

I’ve looked after dd’s friend in a similar situation (girl not boy) - admittedly she’d finished puking by then - but only while dd got a bed sorted etc and she slept by her friend (with another friend) to keep an eye on her during the night - because she was worried about her rather than finding it hilarious.

All teens seem to do this at one time or another but your dd’s reaction is what has caused the problem. Let the boy’s mother deal with him when she speaks to him. I’d be furious with my dc doing this to another parent and insist they apologise etc.

fucking ridiculous

@Cantstandbullshit

Er, well yeah of course. Dumb bullshit? Of course people remember what their parents were like when they were growing up.

I thought this was just a normal part of growing up- definitely look after him, recovery position, keep an eye on him etc. But I really wouldn’t be angry despite the inconvenience- surely we have all been there ourselves back in our youth? And yeah teens would find it funny!

I’d be glad they stuck together and both got home safe- they’ll learn from this without a lecture or adults being angry.

Not sure where you got that from.
I think helping your kids’ daft friends out is something to remember and be grateful for, for years to come in

I'd be reading DD the riot act and insisting she minds her friend and if she refuses, then that would be the last time she has guests stay over until its her own home!

Absolutely fucking rude to bring home someone utterly wasted then expect someone else to look after them.

If you can't bring yourself to leave him to her care, then at least ensure it is she who cleans up any disgusting messes in the morning!

Could your DD be embarrassed and a bit panicky and she's covering it up by laughing?
I've dealt with a few drunken teens over the years (3 DC, the boys took a while to grow out of it!) I even had one of my DS friends who was out with a different group call him and ask if he could bring his GF to mine as she was a bit worse for wear and was frightened of what her parents would say if she got home in a bit of a state.
The double air bed was whipped out along with makeshift bedding and a bucket.
Tea and toast was made in the morning and off they went
It's what we do as parents, we not only look after our own kids but when the need arises we look after other peoples kids as well and keep them safe

@demo2026 MAKE SURE HE IS IN THE RECOVERY POSITION! As some other posters have said. And make sure he is regularly checked. A young work colleague of my DH died from exactly this.

Ideally his parents should be picking him up, but as that can't happen then you do need to keep an eye on him as you don't trust your DD to do it. No its not fair but someone has to be responsible for his condition. Personally it would be a long time before I let her have anyone else back to stay.

It’s very easy for teenagers to misjudge and overdo it. Your daughter doesn’t want to look after him, which as pp have said is immature and selfish. But you also don’t want to look after him, which strikes me as the same. Sounds like she’s learned this from you. Her friend can’t rely on her to help him out when he’s vulnerable, and neither of
them can rely on you. Perhaps you should think harder about what values of care and responsibility you model for her.

Ffs.

@Whammyyammy

Call him an ambulance

You really think one will turn up? For a drunk teenager? 🙄

My 82 yo DF fell off a ladder earlier this year, whacked his side and was in agony/couldn't be moved and he couldn't get one - although they said it would be there in 2 hours, but 5 hours later he got a phone call and no visit. GP prescribed painkillers, again without a visit. Fortunately there did not appear to be anything more serious than a few broken ribs (although that's very very painful and can be life threatening), but he'll never know for sure as he was never actually seen in person.

Out of all the teenagers who got drunk when you were at school how often did this happen? Ffs

If he’s extremely drunk see if you can get him to vomit then give him a glass of water and put him to bed on his side.

DD should now be banned from having guests for a few months, not so much because her mate got drunk (out of her control) but because she isn’t stepping up to look after him.

Nobody wants to do it, but it is what it is.

@Wouldloveanother

Out of all the teenagers who got drunk when you were at school how often did this happen? Ffs

Well twice from posters on this thread so far and once is enough

That’s confirmation bias. How prevalent do you think it is out of teenagers who get drunk as a whole? Rather than a Mn thread which seems to attract drama llamas.

I wouldn't ever let him stay over again.

What is wrong with you? Why do you allow your underage daughter to go out drinking in the first place?

Gosh @Wouldloveanother bit cold.

Having known someone who tragically and unnecessarily died from choking on their vomit in their sleep when drunk, I am not a drama llama bringing it up, I was actually concerned for the friend and hoped OP would treat him responsibly. I said once is enough* *but actually just the possibility is enough

Hopefully she won't waste NHS time and money doing that.

@Bluelightbaby when my son at 17 got very drunk ( now likely know spiked drinks ) )111 called an ambulance
They came no problem and he was becoming hyperthermic and was really very ill
Surely you know alcohol poisoning is dangerous
So at times yes it is necessary surely ?
Even the advice on nhs says not to ignore alcohol poisoning

This.

I’’d let them both know this morning that it was a good thing that we looked after him rather than someone taking advantage of him and that he’s welcome to stay in the future but not to be blind drunk next time as when he goes out with DD they’re supposed to be looking out for each other rather than them both being legless and useless.

DD went out tonight with her friend and the plan was for him to sleep at ours, he's done this loads of times before so I agreed as I didn't think they'd be too drunk,

So you condone your underage daughter (and her friend) going out drinking ?! And who's paying for her booze?

Totally ridiculous.

What a stunning lack of empathy OP, have you never had too much to drink?

Look after the poor young lad as you would your own, he's a friend of your DDs after all and from what you say it's not as if it's an every-weekend occurrence🙄

Probably a good idea not to let him stay again when he's been drinking if you've so little time or compassion for typical teenage hi-jinx