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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you lie on your bed in the clothes you've been wearing all day?

665 replies

blueskyeve · 23/09/2022 11:24

My dh got home from the dentist yesterday afternoon (he had a wisdom tooth taken out), he was in a bit of pain and discomfort so went to lie down. I went to check if he was ok/needed anything and saw he was lying on our bed fully clothed with the clothes he had on all day. I told him that was disgusting and could he remove them please, but he didn't understand why. He said (via text as he couldn't talk) 'But where have I been sat? The dentist? Where everything is famously clean?' That day he had also been sat in the car, been to the shops, taken our dc to school. If it was me I would always remove jeans etc. and put on pj's or clean leggings/joggers before lying on the bed.

Who is right?

OP posts:
CaptainThe95thRifles · 23/09/2022 11:47

I agree with you OP, although I do feel sorry for your DH given the circumstances. I'd be quietly changing the bedding tonight to wash it.

But I accept that's not entirely rational.

AnyFucker · 23/09/2022 11:47

What were you like at the height of covid times ? Were you hosing the family down on the doorstep before entry ?

ElusiveWhale · 23/09/2022 11:48

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 23/09/2022 11:41

Skin that's been under clothes all day is not dirtier than the clothes covering it, which have been on bus seats, rubbing against public loos, on the ground (in the case of DC), etc.

Show quote history

Your own kitchen cloth and the coins in your purse will carry more pathogens than a coat that's touched a toilet. Our skin is covered in bacteria, always.

Original poster
blueskyeve · 23/09/2022 11:48

Norriscolesbag · 23/09/2022 11:44

You reply do need to apologize to him and mean it.
A total lack of empathy for what he had just been though to boot. I can only assume you don’t have much to worry about generally.

Huh?

I have plenty of empathy. Apart from that one tiny little snippet you don't really know what goes on in our lives. We actually laughed about it together. His clothes remained on.

And now I know I'm BU.

OP posts:
SweetSenorita · 23/09/2022 11:48

Of course I would 🙂

Jackiebrambles · 23/09/2022 11:48

I dread to think how many loads of washing you are doing

summergone · 23/09/2022 11:48

@Chemenger what ? ! Do you not wear a sterile hat ?!

Shortandfurry301 · 23/09/2022 11:49

Sorry op but you should be grateful you have the headspace to worry about this of thing!

Putting the cleanliness of your bed linen above the well-being of your dh? Really?

CallMeLinda · 23/09/2022 11:50

On the bed, not in the bed? Absolutely fine.

Midlifemusings · 23/09/2022 11:50

Very controlling behaviour OP.

If you have a problem, get it addressed with professionals, rather than name calling and treating your husband like he is a plague in his own home.

littlepeas · 23/09/2022 11:50

I'm sitting here wondering who was the first batshit person to come up with not touching the bed while wearing clothes that have been outside - it must have trickled down from somewhere.

stuntbubbles · 23/09/2022 11:51

HelloAvocado · 23/09/2022 11:36

I only leave the house in a hazmat suit which I then burn before returning to the house.

I simply burn my house down, and myself, each day, to start anew before I go to bed.

(Currently pregnant and napping daily, IN my clothes, UNDER the covers. No one has died from germs yet.)

Original poster
blueskyeve · 23/09/2022 11:51

Shortandfurry301 · 23/09/2022 11:49

Sorry op but you should be grateful you have the headspace to worry about this of thing!

Putting the cleanliness of your bed linen above the well-being of your dh? Really?

Haha! It's so amusing how people have built this idea of who I am and my entire personality because of one little point I made.

OP posts:
TheOrigRights · 23/09/2022 11:52

Is this the first time he has ever laid on the bed with clothes on? How long have you been together.

I will lie on my bed with clothes on. Not with sweat, post work out ones, and I won't get IN the bed with my clothes on, but on the bed is fine.

I often lie on my bed rather than the sofa. I am still alive.

CaptainThe95thRifles · 23/09/2022 11:53

FWIW, I will happily roll around in the mud, eat without washing my hands having done ungodly things with horses, dogs, sheep etc, and I encounter more "dirt" on a daily basis than most folk do in their lives. But I still wouldn't lie on my bed without changing out of my outdoor clothes if I'd been to the dentist or into town (and I'd probably have a shower too). People have different triggers!

SudocremOnEverything · 23/09/2022 11:54

littlepeas · 23/09/2022 11:41

I think you might be the only person on the planet who would have a problem with this.

Apparently not if this thread is anything to go by.

Hermione101 · 23/09/2022 11:54

Yes, you are 100% right. We do the same at home.

2bazookas · 23/09/2022 11:54

Who is right?

Not you.

If this is your first life experience of someone feeling so terribly unwell and in pain they needed to lie down on their own bed without even getting undressed, you must be very young. It certainly won't be your last.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/09/2022 11:55

AnyFucker · 23/09/2022 11:47

What were you like at the height of covid times ? Were you hosing the family down on the doorstep before entry ?

Don't you know how dicusting that is? The water will spray the germs all over the place.

I installed a UV steriliser and HEPA air shower in my front porch so it is impossible to enter the house without a full decontamination, because you just can't be too careful.

Bumpsadaisie · 23/09/2022 11:55

Sorry, I think you sound bonkers!

Why wouldn't you lie on your bed in your clothes? I just don't get it!

Original poster
blueskyeve · 23/09/2022 11:55

Midlifemusings · 23/09/2022 11:50

Very controlling behaviour OP.

If you have a problem, get it addressed with professionals, rather than name calling and treating your husband like he is a plague in his own home.

This is too funny. You don't know me at all. I'm not a controlling person and I love and care about my dh very much. I made a comment, he gave his opinion. I left it. I then thought I'd ask others to see if their opinion matched my dh ... and they do. I've been told.

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 23/09/2022 11:55

Yes Confused

GingerGloucester · 23/09/2022 11:56

Wow! YABU

Original poster
blueskyeve · 23/09/2022 11:56

2bazookas · 23/09/2022 11:54

Who is right?

Not you.

If this is your first life experience of someone feeling so terribly unwell and in pain they needed to lie down on their own bed without even getting undressed, you must be very young. It certainly won't be your last.

No not my first

OP posts:
PuddlesOnFire · 23/09/2022 11:57

Hell... I do that all the time... and I put suitcases on the bed when I'm packing. I never realised I was considered so vile doing so.

But then, we have cats who jump on the bed and I can't remember the last time they had a bath! 😀

Anyway, its lunchtime, so I'm going to take my disgusting self and lie on the bed.