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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you lie on your bed in the clothes you've been wearing all day?

665 replies

blueskyeve · 23/09/2022 11:24

My dh got home from the dentist yesterday afternoon (he had a wisdom tooth taken out), he was in a bit of pain and discomfort so went to lie down. I went to check if he was ok/needed anything and saw he was lying on our bed fully clothed with the clothes he had on all day. I told him that was disgusting and could he remove them please, but he didn't understand why. He said (via text as he couldn't talk) 'But where have I been sat? The dentist? Where everything is famously clean?' That day he had also been sat in the car, been to the shops, taken our dc to school. If it was me I would always remove jeans etc. and put on pj's or clean leggings/joggers before lying on the bed.

Who is right?

OP posts:
UneFoisAuChalet · 24/09/2022 19:31

*They’re

ElusiveWhale · 24/09/2022 19:31

Live and let live people!

If only the OP thought the same eh? If a woman had posted that she came home from having a tooth out, felt so ill she couldn't speak, and then her husband called her disgusting and turfed her off the bed because she had her clothes on, the husband would be called abusive on here.

Downbythebayy · 24/09/2022 19:34

Hahahahha

Lulu1919 · 24/09/2022 19:42

No
I don't even sit on my sofa in clothes I've worn out and about

bluesapphire48 · 24/09/2022 19:46

Ordinarily, I change my clothes when I get home; sometimes I even take a bath, if I've been out in public. I did this very religiously during the height of the covid pandemic, and would shower and wash my hair as soon as I got home, but now I am a little more relaxed.

You have a point that your husband was out in public, and if it were a normal situation, you would be right to ask him to change his clothes, but I think you were really unsympathetic to him when he wasn't feeling well, Are you always that cold and demanding? Poor man! Shame on you for being so thoughtless! Yes, you should indeed go and apologize. Fix his favorite dinner and rub his feet.

Thefaceofboe · 24/09/2022 19:49

*No

I don't even sit on my sofa in clothes I've worn out and about*

im sorry but what a strange way to live.

AdamantEve · 24/09/2022 19:57

Each to their own, but I often get into bed for a quick sleep wearing my “day clothes” never knew until now that it was a no-no! Every day’s a school day (but I’ll carry on doing it nonetheless)

pogostick · 24/09/2022 20:02

I am a nurse. I am 62. When I get home after a 12 hour shift - no different from any other working class women or men, who are on their feet all day - I flop on the bed in my uniform. I usually nod off for an hour.
I don’t care what you think.

Katekeeprunning · 24/09/2022 20:05

I can’t believe anyone would even post this. YABU

Pupinski · 24/09/2022 20:15

Just wow! I'm glad I'm not married to you!

Ifeelsuchafool · 24/09/2022 20:16

I wouldn't but I always change into "home clothes" ie leisurewear, when I get in from work or being out all day anyway. But I don't lie on the bed during the day anyway in the same way that I don't have TV/laptop or other devices in the bedroom either. I would slob on a sofa but I live alone so can please myself.

EllietheElephanti · 24/09/2022 20:18

I wouldn't like that either OP but would be less bothered if on the bed rather than in it.

TheDogsDinner · 24/09/2022 20:18

Yes.

EllietheElephanti · 24/09/2022 20:19

But some people clearly not bothered by stuff like this. You are and your DH knows it. He could have just got changed.

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 24/09/2022 20:21

We do it all the time but we have a blanket and a bed spread before you even get to the duvet. DH won't do it in his work clothes as he does get mucky but he changes as soon as he gets home.

Bebethany · 24/09/2022 20:34

Seriously, struth how long do you expect to stay together and what do you mean ‘disgusting’. I think your on a wind up?

Adifferentcorner · 24/09/2022 20:47

Are you being serious???
YABVU

CovidCath · 24/09/2022 21:00

A 23 page thread? Only on MN. I despair…….it’s quite clear who’s being unreasonable.

Macinae · 24/09/2022 21:19

YABU. The poor man is ill, and it's not like he's been down the pit all day. I think you need to review your relationship with cleanliness as this is extreme.

BettySwallocks · 24/09/2022 21:28

This is a joke right?
The man has just had a wisdom tooth out which in itself can be very grim and just wanted to crash.
His precious wife appears in the doorway but not to offer comfort!
Oh no but to deliver him extra grief.

I hope he wiped his arse on your pillowcase

ThinWomansBrain · 24/09/2022 21:30

wow - no wonder you didn't enable voting.
I do it all the time

Maggiethecat · 24/09/2022 21:37

I have a thing about outdoor clothes on my bed too. Sitting on the bus, where people put their shoes on the seats, park benches etc - I just don’t feel comfortable sitting on my bed in my outdoor clothes.

And Dh generally changes out of work clothes into comfy clothes when home (though not necessarily for the same reason) but I wouldn’t have a go at him in the circumstances you describe

Think yabu.

Keladrythesaviour · 24/09/2022 21:38

I regularly nap during the day if I have time and I get IN the bed wearing my day clothes. Shocker.

Benjispruce4 · 24/09/2022 21:40

OP it’s totally normal to lie on your own bed in your own clothes . What do you think is going to happen? Unless you work in dirty conditions I don’t have t see the problem. I would think you have issues around unreasonable cleanliness standards .

Mirabeladawer · 24/09/2022 21:40

OP- I'm clearly in the minority but I agree with you on this. If you've been out all day you should get changed before getting into bed. I'm surprised at how many people think this is OK, but I think it's poor hygiene.