AIBU?
Would you prioritise your grandchild's birthday?
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 07:51
Would you choose going to a friend's wedding (not close friends) over your grandchild's 6th birthday party? Even if the wedding invite came first, knowing the date of your grandchild's birthday, would you check to see what would be happening for their birthday? Being a Saturday too.
Bit more context... what if you would also be moving to another part of the country from said grandchild the following week.
Interested to know opinions.
Kinderbuenos · 21/09/2022 08:03
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 08:00
@The2Omicronnies this is exactly the situation. My parents want to be part of their grandchild's birthday. With my inlaws, it's sad that their grandchildren aren't a priority. Not just this, lots of other things too.
The2Omicronnies · 21/09/2022 07:55
It would depend on the relationship. My own parents, I know, would absolutely check in and likely miss the wedding. My in laws wouldn’t even consider the child’s birthday
I think you are being completely ridiculous. Your parents may be overly invested in your DC but it sounds like your in laws have a healthier approach
Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 21/09/2022 08:04
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 08:00
@The2Omicronnies this is exactly the situation. My parents want to be part of their grandchild's birthday. With my inlaws, it's sad that their grandchildren aren't a priority. Not just this, lots of other things too.
The2Omicronnies · 21/09/2022 07:55
It would depend on the relationship. My own parents, I know, would absolutely check in and likely miss the wedding. My in laws wouldn’t even consider the child’s birthday
Why sad? I don't see why your children would be their priority.
ClocksGoingBackwards · 21/09/2022 08:04
What sort of a child’s birthday party? A six year old won’t usually be interested in their grandparent at their birthday party with all their friends there and there’s no reason the grandparent can’t still see the child and wish them a happy birthday.
The fact that they’re moving is irrelevant.
holidaynightmare · 21/09/2022 08:05
EbbyEbs · 21/09/2022 07:56
No, my grandchild would always come first
I agree
My mum is no longer with us after a terminal cancer diagnosis it hurts me she isn't at my kids birthdays
Make the most of it while they are little too and want grandparents there
I guess it all depends on the relationship you have with them tho if your a "only meet once or twice a year" family then it's a different ballgame
NormalNans · 21/09/2022 08:07
NerrSnerr · 21/09/2022 08:02
Ok you have a baby too. How many years are you expecting them to put a hold on their lives for you? Would they be allowed to move in 10 years? 20? Never?
Exactly this. Honestly the mindset of some people confuses me. Someone up thread has used the term ‘it happened to us’, nothing ‘happened’ to you. Someone moved because it was the best thing for them, it’s not a thing that ‘happened’ to anyone.
I don’t understand this need to make everything revolve around the grandchildren.
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 08:07
Mosaic123 · 21/09/2022 08:03
Grandchild's birthday would be my priority.
I wouldn't want to be a long way from my grandchild if I didn't have to be.
@Mosaic123 my parents feel the same as you. I find it sad that so many grandparents don't feel this way too.
luxxlisbon · 21/09/2022 08:07
You are being completely ridiculous. The wedding invite came first, you made up birthday party plans. Why would they rsvp no to a wedding in the mild hope they get invited to a 6 year olds birthday party that May it may not happen?
Its funny seeing the other side of “they don’t care/ they make no effort” and then you realise actually no, the person just has insane expectations.
NormalNans · 21/09/2022 08:09
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 08:07
@Mosaic123 my parents feel the same as you. I find it sad that so many grandparents don't feel this way too.
Mosaic123 · 21/09/2022 08:03
Grandchild's birthday would be my priority.
I wouldn't want to be a long way from my grandchild if I didn't have to be.
Why? Aren’t they allowed their own lives? Do they have to revolve around your offspring? I think that’s far more sad
Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 21/09/2022 08:10
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 08:07
@Mosaic123 my parents feel the same as you. I find it sad that so many grandparents don't feel this way too.
Mosaic123 · 21/09/2022 08:03
Grandchild's birthday would be my priority.
I wouldn't want to be a long way from my grandchild if I didn't have to be.
Why?! They have raised their children. Now it's their time not to be tied down.
You can have an incredible relationship with GC without being entwind.
Maybe they want some distance from you and find you overbearing
Quitelikeacatslife · 21/09/2022 08:14
Really OP you and your family need to calm down a bit. A 6 year old will be running round with their friends, you don't need the whole extended family looking on adoringly.
Arrange to see them the next day, they probably think their grandchild will appreciate that more than all at once.
You can't put kids on this gigantic pedestal it is exhausting and not healthy.
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 08:14
ClocksGoingBackwards · 21/09/2022 08:04
What sort of a child’s birthday party? A six year old won’t usually be interested in their grandparent at their birthday party with all their friends there and there’s no reason the grandparent can’t still see the child and wish them a happy birthday.
The fact that they’re moving is irrelevant.
@ClocksGoingBackwards it's at home. There will be a mixture of friends and family there.
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