AIBU?
Would you prioritise your grandchild's birthday?
BrocoliTrees · 21/09/2022 07:51
Would you choose going to a friend's wedding (not close friends) over your grandchild's 6th birthday party? Even if the wedding invite came first, knowing the date of your grandchild's birthday, would you check to see what would be happening for their birthday? Being a Saturday too.
Bit more context... what if you would also be moving to another part of the country from said grandchild the following week.
Interested to know opinions.
YourWinter · 23/09/2022 09:10
Wedding.
Kids’ parties are hell, full of other kids. The stuff of nightmares. I’d see my grandchild the day before, or after. Weddings are (sometimes) a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, the child has a birthday every year and frankly they won’t care two hoots whether the grandparent is at the party.
There are all sorts of reasons to move to another area. We moved 100 miles away from family when mine were 4 and 2. We had a car and we visited them a lot more than they visited us. I don’t imagine I’d have been precious and been upset if it was grandparents moving away from us.
FlannelandPuce · 23/09/2022 16:27
I would definitely prioritize the wedding if I was them, BUT in your situation I would have took my ds out for a birthday treat, something like a day out at a farm on his actual birthday. I would have then had a family party on the Sunday whereby both sets of grandparents would be there, so it becomes a birthday weekend celebration.
I think you are finding things a struggle, and are hoping that your in-laws will step up and give you a break. Ultimately you are disappointed things are not working out the way you want, and it ok to feel like that. However I think you are taking your frustration out on your in-laws and creating your own narrative to explain their behaviour, which is feeding your frustration.
Take a step back, and try to focus more on the positives in your life and try not to let others behaviour have such a hold on how you feel. You can't control others behaviour but you can control the impact it has on you. Focus on your D's and make his birthday special and create lovely memories for your little family :0)
BrocoliTrees · 23/09/2022 21:17
FlannelandPuce · 23/09/2022 16:27
I would definitely prioritize the wedding if I was them, BUT in your situation I would have took my ds out for a birthday treat, something like a day out at a farm on his actual birthday. I would have then had a family party on the Sunday whereby both sets of grandparents would be there, so it becomes a birthday weekend celebration.
I think you are finding things a struggle, and are hoping that your in-laws will step up and give you a break. Ultimately you are disappointed things are not working out the way you want, and it ok to feel like that. However I think you are taking your frustration out on your in-laws and creating your own narrative to explain their behaviour, which is feeding your frustration.
Take a step back, and try to focus more on the positives in your life and try not to let others behaviour have such a hold on how you feel. You can't control others behaviour but you can control the impact it has on you. Focus on your D's and make his birthday special and create lovely memories for your little family :0)
@FlannelandPuce thank you, that was such a lovely response. Really thoughtful and helpful. You're absolutely right. I need to do all those things you said.
BrocoliTrees · 23/09/2022 21:26
@MumkinPatch thank you, that's really kind.
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents passing away so close to each other. That must have been such a tough time with babies too.
We don't know what life will throw at us. I'm very aware that I will need to be there for my parents one day as I'm the only child. Also my aunty too as we're very close to her and she has no partner or children. Fortunately my dh is very family orientated and always says how we'll be there for them all when they're old. As my family have always been there for us. He doesn't really say this about his own parents.
ObviouslyHeGetsFed · 01/11/2022 14:59
I would attend whichever I replied to first. And I do deem a wedding more important than a childs birthday party. In my experience DC are so excited with their gifts and balloons and friends that GPs are not really of interest that day. I would do something special with my GC later in the week.
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