Would you prioritise your grandchild's birthday?

[BrocoliTrees]

Would you choose going to a friend's wedding (not close friends) over your grandchild's 6th birthday party? Even if the wedding invite came first, knowing the date of your grandchild's birthday, would you check to see what would be happening for their birthday? Being a Saturday too.

Bit more context... what if you would also be moving to another part of the country from said grandchild the following week.

Interested to know opinions.

[AddieLoggins2]

Wedding. Every time.

My parents and in-laws are both very very close to my children and they would go to the wedding and do something with my 6 year old another day.

Heck, I'd even miss my own child's birthday for a wedding! We'd just celebrate another day - it's not like I wouldn't give them their presents or anything! A 6 year old's birthday party is for their friends, and are not always held on their birthday anyway!

[vdbfamily]

wedding is a hopefully once in a life time and way way more important than a 6 th birthday. As long as you have dropped off card and gift or posted it.

[iseeyou1234]

Wedding

[oosha]

I would put family first every time. I would prioritise my grandchild. They aren’t even close friends 🤷🏼‍♀️, why would you put their wedding before your grandchild. And what has moving away got to do with it?

[QueenoftheFarts]

I don't have grandkids yet, but my parents and in laws have never expected or been expected to take part in birthdays for the kids and both sets of grandparents moved away to seaside destinations on opposite ends of the country. totally normal in my opinion. My now adult kids have great relationships with both sets of GPs.

[saffy2]

Personally I find it incredibly weird and annoying when my kids grandparents want/think they should be with our kids on their birthdays.
id go to the wedding.

[Livelovebehappy]

With situations like this, it would help to see their side - only because you say they were very involved initially, but now aren’t. Maybe something happened which upset them? It seems the relationship has broken down for some reason.

[HairyToity]

Prioritise wedding. My parents have missed a birthday for wedding before. No hard feelings.

[ArabellaDrummond]

Wedding. 6 isn’t a big birthday.

[Zeezee82]

I could have written your post!
i would never have dreamt of prioritising anything over a child/grandchild because that’s how I was raised. My in-laws are the opposite. They chose a party (company celebration not even a person. didn’t know anyone else attending) over GCs birthday

[Lovemusic33]

Wedding invite came first, how were they to know their grandchild was going to have a party? Often kids have parties and only school friends attend. I would chose the wedding.

[Maytodecember]

The wedding.
Kids birthdays tend to spread over a couple of days now and at 6 the gc is probably more interested in a party with friends than granny visiting. I rarely see dgc on their birthdays, present and card sent and I call, zoom, FaceTime whatever on the day.

[RenoSusan]

Go to the birthday party and make it memorable. Wear something outlandish. Make a hat of artificial flowers with hanging blooms and large bows. Bring a present that is unique that you have assembled yourself-a treasure chest. Make them a cape of brilliant satin with a different color on each side and wide enough to wrap around them. Take many pictures. Make it memorable.

[Fluffmum]

Gc first especially if they are moving away

[Mrschristmasqueen]

'But despite what pps have said on here, a long distance relationship with grandparents is never going to be the same'

I fully disagree. My in laws live almost 200 miles away, always have done. We see them 2-3 times a year, a combination of us going there once, them coming here once and us meeting halfway for a day out. The bond they have with our children is amazing because we keep in touch via video calls regularly. Yes we have to work at it and make time for these calls but their relationship is the same as with my parents who are involved weekly.

Also, wedding over birthday every time.

[VerbenaGirl]

For a sixth, wedding (more of a dilemma if it was a first). Maybe a shade more of consideration with the moving away. But on balance, the wedding.

[LaDamaDeElche]

Wedding

[LaDamaDeElche]

@Sirzy

Most kids couldn’t care if their grandparents are at the party they just want the time with the friends

This.

[XxeexX]

Sorry no. Everyone saying the wedding are so so wrong! I would put my grandchild first ALWAYS!

[bringbackveronicamars]

Wedding.

I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, even if they're moving away soon, too, but they're not obligated to tie themselves down to the area because you live there.

[TiaraBoo]

I think you need to separate out the birthday party from your other feelings.
YABU about the 6th birthday party. A wedding (should be!) a one off event - all day thing whereas a kids birthday party is usually a child playing with friends and often family don’t get invited (I know yours is a friends and family do but by 6, that’s not so common).

YANBU about your feelings of disappointment in their ‘grand-parenting’ BUT they are your feelings, it doesn’t make the in laws actually unreasonable. Once you accept that you can’t change them - they are who they are, you’ll be much happier.

[cowskeepingmeupatnight]

Of course I’d go to the wedding! Kids have parties every year and they are generally not enjoyable.

[giveovernate]

Wedding for me! It's a one day event, birthdays can be spread over a couple of days with different people.

[MikeWozniaksMoustache]

@Mrschristmasqueen

'But despite what pps have said on here, a long distance relationship with grandparents is never going to be the same'

I fully disagree. My in laws live almost 200 miles away, always have done. We see them 2-3 times a year, a combination of us going there once, them coming here once and us meeting halfway for a day out. The bond they have with our children is amazing because we keep in touch via video calls regularly. Yes we have to work at it and make time for these calls but their relationship is the same as with my parents who are involved weekly.

Also, wedding over birthday every time.

Absolutely. My parents live 150 miles away. Video chat a lot and my little one, even though she’s only 1 gets excited on video chat. We see them a little bit more a year (6/7 times maybe) but she’s besotted in person and online

[Teenyliving]

I understand why you feel sad OP. But I think it’s less distance and more effort that impacts on the depth of a relationship.

i live in another country to my three niblings and I’m have a very close auntie relationship with them all xxx