Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect food to still be there if I've said no to eating it?

365 replies

User3billion · 19/09/2022 10:53

Is it OK to have food in the house that belongs to a specific person?!

For instance this weekend eldest was away on camp & two youngest wanted crepes (just a cheap packet of ready made ones). Last night when eldest got back he asked if he could have one.... I said no as it was nearly dinner time and they'd been bought for the little ones.

There were two left in the pack - went to get the youngest one this morning as she asked for it for breakfast and eldest has eaten BOTH. He's also denied it but it couldn't be anyone else.

I've had chocolate bought for my birthday recently and eldest has helped themselves (I wouldn't mind but I've shared it when I've been eating it so it's not as if I've been selfish). They don't care that it's not theirs, if it's not hidden, they eat it.

There's plenty of other food in the house that they're welcome to help themselves to.... bread, cooked meats, cheese, a selection of cereals, fruit, yogurt etc

So am I being unreasonable saying that if something is bought for someone else it should still be there for them to eat?!

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 19/09/2022 11:52

FrangipaniBlue · 19/09/2022 11:45

I echo others - if the youngest had already had some when they were night yesterday why can't the oldest have what was left this morning?

If its the ones I'm thinking of, the prefilled chocolate ones that come in packs of 6, did youngest already have 4? Whys it OK for youngest to eat multiple pancakes and the big issue re the older child eating them is youngest didn't get more?

Autumndays123 · 19/09/2022 11:52

Ive also had 14 year olds and they are very hungry at that age. I can't ever recall my 14 year old having to ask for a snack though, they generally went in the cupboards and helped themselves. The fact they have to ask says a lot in the first place imo.

I feel very sorry for your son.

WhereAreTheLostPens · 19/09/2022 11:53

If I buy something for my youngest for while oldest is away, they eat it while they are away. I would never say to eldest 'welcome back, we missed you, but we are not going to treat you to the nice snacks, you have to leave them for your sibling'. I'd normally treat eldest to something (and also share with the younger one) when they get back from something as a 'we missed you welcome home!)

Example - recently DS went on a week long residential with his sports club (he's 10, so big deal!). When away, we treated his little brother to days out, doughnuts, cake, treats. When I picked up DS1 from his residential I treated him to a McDonald's on the way back. When we were all home for the first time in a week, we all enjoyed scones and jam together. That all seems fair to me.

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/09/2022 11:54

You are being slightly unreasonable as everything you've listed isn't sweet biscuit/chocolate type stuff. Also why didn't you get enough crepes for him? You knew he was coming back.

Tell him not to eat other people's food for sure, but at the same time ask him what snacks he wants in, and get some of them.

Autumndays123 · 19/09/2022 11:55

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/09/2022 11:54

You are being slightly unreasonable as everything you've listed isn't sweet biscuit/chocolate type stuff. Also why didn't you get enough crepes for him? You knew he was coming back.

Tell him not to eat other people's food for sure, but at the same time ask him what snacks he wants in, and get some of them.

He ate the two that were left so presumably the youngest had eaten the other 4 or so. There were clearly enough for him (and he wanted some), the OP just felt the other children should have even more and he should be left without

Qwerkie · 19/09/2022 11:57

Very, very odd of you to deny the eldest any pancakes at all

Creameggs223 · 19/09/2022 11:59

If I have a particular food that needs to be kept for something then I tell dc what and why it shouldn't be taken, you bought these for your younger child clearly they had eaten one or 2 before hand so what is the issue with oldest having one sounds cruel you leaving oldest out to be honest.

StoppinBy · 19/09/2022 12:00

CornishGem1975 · 19/09/2022 11:30

I can see where you're coming from, and it's not about favouring one child over others.

I often go shopping with my daughter and she might ask for, I dunno, a certain pack of biscuits or similar. I think she should reasonably be able to expect that she can eat them herself and not have someone else help themselves to them because they were bought for HER.

So if the crepes were bought as a treat for the two youngest it's not unreasonable that they should be able to enjoy them.

I'd not want to be bought a "treat", want to have some of my treat and some CF has eaten it. It wasn't the eldest's treat, it was theirs.

A whole packet?

Wowsers.

If it was one thing, a donut or a single biscuit I would understand this but a whole packet is designed to be shared and I would be disappointed (and surprised) if when asked one of my children wouldn't give one or two to their sibling out of the whole pack.

RoomOfRequirement · 19/09/2022 12:01

How odd. It's a crepe! I can't imagine allowing younger siblings to eat most of the packet and then not allowing the eldest 2! That stinks of some weird favoritism thing.

Birthday treats are different. But it's so weird for general foods.

RJnomore1 · 19/09/2022 12:02

I think the point is the oldest had had their treats while away and the crepes were bought for the youngest as a treat, the. The oldest came home and ate them too. It’s nothing to do with the oldest being deprived. It would piss me off too op, just because you all live together doesn’t mean one person can’t have something nice and expect it to be respected. See also birthday chocolates.

Stompythedinosaur · 19/09/2022 12:03

CornishGem1975 · 19/09/2022 11:37

I mean yeah a box of cereal @Stompythedinosaur but a little pack of cakes or biscuits, I don't expect anyone to share if they've been bought specifically for them. Isn't that what having a treat is about? How is a treat otherwise.

I would never buy a packet of biscuits or packet of cakes and expect only one person to eat them all!

If it was, like, a single choc bar, then I'd be buying one each for all dc.

Stripedbag101 · 19/09/2022 12:03

My parents had these weird rules about food. I now have an eating disorder.

tou bough a packet of pancakes. That isn’t really a treat it’s a breakfast food. You told your son he could have one before tea - reasonable - so he had two for breakfast also reasonable.

one crepe isn’t enough for a 14 year old for breakfast.

why would a packet of pancakes only belong to the little children.

why are you creating such emotion around food?

Stripedbag101 · 19/09/2022 12:03

He couldn’t have one before tea that should read

Johnnysgirl · 19/09/2022 12:04

CornishGem1975 · 19/09/2022 11:37

I mean yeah a box of cereal @Stompythedinosaur but a little pack of cakes or biscuits, I don't expect anyone to share if they've been bought specifically for them. Isn't that what having a treat is about? How is a treat otherwise.

A personal treat would be a bar of chocolate or a single bun, or whatever. A packet is for sharing.

Who buys one of their kids a multiple pack of anything and says their siblings can't have any?

HappyDays40 · 19/09/2022 12:04

Probably an act of revenge for the fact that your youngest are your favourites and you get them treats. I'd have eaten them too.

mam0918 · 19/09/2022 12:12

First off saying both kids should have the same is ridiculous... my baby is not eating my teens malteasers and I expect him not to eat her magic stars, things can be bought for one person it doesnt mean its is 'unfair' or you should be able to take whatever you want.

Second OP has posted there wasn't much left and it breakfast for the younger one, not a help yourself it had a designated purpose I garantee OP is not starving her older DS he will have food of his own in.

Third cheap crepes are hardly a luxuary treat, not sure why people are acting like OP took one kid to disneyland and locked the other in the basement, its a basic breakfast food that was designated for the person who specifically ASKED for it.

Fourth OP youngest asked and got these because the oldest was sent away on a trip, is OP younger kids not allowed anything for themselves? the oldest should just get absoloutly everything then, he gets his own things and too take the youngers stuff too?

Fifth if you're the kid or person that take multiple using up all of it especially when its not yours you are straught up RUDE and over entitled... zero excuses.

dutysuite · 19/09/2022 12:15

Really wouldn’t bother me. It’s a 99p packet of dry crepes ffs and eating one is not substantial enough.

Viviennemary · 19/09/2022 12:16

The child was wrong to help himself to your birthday chocolate. But denying a crepe to a specific child is wrong. There should be enough to go round.

BirdinaHedge · 19/09/2022 12:17

YANBU about birthday chocolate , but it seems a bit unfair not to allow the eldest to eat something you gave to your younger DC, especially when it was a treat. Your eldest must have felt left out - a very unpleasant feeling in a family. So YABU re the crepes.

lickenchugget · 19/09/2022 12:18

So people in your house can only eat a treat if it was requested by, and bought specifically forthem?

GoneWithTheWine1 · 19/09/2022 12:20

It's a bloody crepe ffs. I think your blowing this way out of proportion.

Original poster
User3billion · 19/09/2022 12:20

Wow, there's a lot of reading between the lines here. Small one hadn't had 4, given there are 3 kids in the house when they're all here - they each had one Saturday morning & one Sunday morning.
Eldest wasn't denied the pancakes altogether, but why is it OK for them to eat both (without checking if the little one wanted one), they could have had one each & then any of the variety of other foods on offer.
Some of the other foods are also sweet.... chocolate flavour cereal, the yogurts are the corner pots with chocolate pieces in the corner, there's Nutella in the cupboard for toast.
The kids doesn't have to ask for snacks/breakfast items, they just have to be mindful of the fact they're not the only person in the house.
There are no "favourites" in the house.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 19/09/2022 12:20

I find it odd that certain foods are for certain children unless there are dietary issues .

MichelleScarn · 19/09/2022 12:23

So you are saying other younger kids already had 2 each, oldest then had 2, and the biggest issue is youngest didn't get to have 3?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/09/2022 12:23

If there was only two left, then presumably the younger kids had eaten the rest. So the last two for their big brother is appropriate surely?

Swipe left for the next trending thread