To expect food to still be there if I've said no to eating it?

[User3billion]

Is it OK to have food in the house that belongs to a specific person?!

For instance this weekend eldest was away on camp & two youngest wanted crepes (just a cheap packet of ready made ones). Last night when eldest got back he asked if he could have one.... I said no as it was nearly dinner time and they'd been bought for the little ones.

There were two left in the pack - went to get the youngest one this morning as she asked for it for breakfast and eldest has eaten BOTH. He's also denied it but it couldn't be anyone else.

I've had chocolate bought for my birthday recently and eldest has helped themselves (I wouldn't mind but I've shared it when I've been eating it so it's not as if I've been selfish). They don't care that it's not theirs, if it's not hidden, they eat it.

There's plenty of other food in the house that they're welcome to help themselves to.... bread, cooked meats, cheese, a selection of cereals, fruit, yogurt etc

So am I being unreasonable saying that if something is bought for someone else it should still be there for them to eat?!

YABU
Birthday chocs if they are that important to you then put them on top of a cupboard or away from the kids, not within reach.
YABU
I generally gree with other posts that the kids ages will give context here. Dont treat kids differently or ear mark food for one rather than the other unless there is an allergy. Put away any food if its that important. Surely be happy that the kids are eating. This sort of nonsense is where eating disorders stem from.

YABU. Parenting teens is hard and this is such a minor thing - I’d feel happy that my kid listened when first told no and then just got themselves their share at a sensible time. Teens are hungry beasts and yours clearly fancied a crepe(s) the night before- if the only reason they were not allowed was timing (dinner) then I can see that they assumed it would be ok to have their share the next morning. A serving size of those shop-bought crepes is definitely at least two for a hollow-legged teen!

Also, in my experience, being away on a camp can feel perhaps a little different to a sensitive/angsty teen…they often feel (yes perhaps unjustly) left out and miss home, especially knowing that younger siblings are getting their parents all to themselves. It’s a minefield! So although it feels to you like they’ve had a huge treat already by being away, there may be some (quite normal) feelings of being left out a bit on their side. It makes little sense to us as grown adults - being much more secure in ourselves, but it helps me to try to put myself in their shoes and remember how complex my emotions were at that age!

I wouldn’t provide a special treat food for myself or my younger children but not allow my oldest to eat it, no. That’s unkind. All food is shared in our house, except dinner ingredients! We only buy snacks that we are willing to share/it doesn’t matter how many the kids have like fruit, seeds, nuts, oatmeal etc, so kids can eat what they want and we don’t worry too much about how much they had. if we do buy chocolate we will all eat it together!

Not gonna lie I will also sometimes buy chocolate for myself and hide it until everyone else it out though …

Put locks on the fridges or better still tell them to move out.

why you put up with this is completely bizarre.

How old is the eldest? Sounds like they are at “eating everything that doesn’t move” age …. which also coincides with not considering others!
no matter how well you think you e taught manners and consideration, I’d say it’s perfectly normal.
doesn’t mean you aren’t being unreasonable.
just another of life’s hurdles sent to try our patience!! & referee sibling quarrels!

….. would stickers or a sharpie pen help? Or putting things in the freezer so they aren’t quite so immediately accessible?!

@User3billion, first, what are the ages we're talking about here? There is a difference between a 17-year-old eating things and a 10-year-old. Second, is this older child your child or your husband's child? I ask because I find it odd that you would not buy crepes for ALL the kids! It seems like you may favor the younger ones. If so, I can understand why the eldest ate the crepes. It was acting out because of favoritism! You need to be honest with yourself and REALLY come to terms with what is going on in your home. If you are favoring one child over the other, then your children are going to respond accordingly. You have to really think through what you're doing and how you interact with the kid. Don't create food problems for kids. If you buy for one, buy for all. Don't single one out not to receive things. That creates anger and animosity. If that's what you're trying to do, then you're succeeding. If that's not what you're trying to do, then you're failing. Think through what you're doing and what you really feel about the older kid. It sounds like you don't like them as much. You left a lot out, but being honest about your own feelings will go a long way.

That’s not what’s going on.
Does the OP have to list everytime she didn’t give the older child’s requested treats away to his younger siblings, when he wanted to save them for later just to prove her credentials as a mother who treats her children the same?
I have five brothers, I definitely knew that not all of the food in the house was for me and I asked first. I wasn’t short of food that I personally wanted and my brothers didn’t eat things that I’d requested.

Your eldest child ate both which is rude because you asked them not to eat it ..but at the same time as there are only two left that means the younger kids already had their share
Are you sure eldest child ate them both because I could imagine he would only eat one if he was going to nick one LOL maybe the younger kids ate them?

I agree
all a bit petty tbh and those Pancakes are cheap as chips end of the day they are all her children .. I’ll get younger ones have different tastes et cetera than older kids , I doubt she is buying the older kids petit filou and Those little smoothie drinks so different age kids will be getting different products .. But everyone can eat pancakes.

OP why not have a pancake making day when all the kids can get involved

YANBU and thank goodness the vote shows this. I read through the responses thinking the world had gone mad. Some absolute loons posting on here

@Mumwho

im sure OP’s chocs were in a cupboard rather than lying about as that’s where people tend to keep food

at the end of the day op should not have to hide food. Her son is 14, he’ll be 16 in a couple of years - old enough to join the army. He should have enough restraint to not eat others presents. If teenagers really cannot help themselves and eat everything then they would do so at supermarkets etc - but they don’t, it’s just at home becuase they think that it doesn’t matter and “mum won’t mind’ they need to learn respect

That's stealing, in my book. It's not theirs/they've been told not to eat it, but did anyway.
Stealing.
And I'd be implementing steps to address it. Starting with them replacing what they took.

What madness is this?

You buy food, you plan meals and menus, meanwhile hairy teen comes along and snarfs down stuff he’s been asked not to eat because it’s for the greater good, be that breakfast or family meals.

There are plenty of other goodies hairy teen could eat, but no, he chooses the “forbidden fruit”.

Honestly, OP’s teen isn’t being sidelined, kept in a cupboard under the stairs, made to feel neglected. Presumably he hasn’t eaten the crepes out of spite because he’s not the favourite child.

He’s just a normal teen, occasionally thoughtless, as were most of us at some point in our teens. OP just wanted a bit of space to vent.

Mine left empty packaging on the work surface yesterday because the bin was just…. too…. far….. away. 🗑️ 🚮

Stealing?

kid eats a pancake is stealing ?

good god!

what on earth?