To expect food to still be there if I've said no to eating it?

[User3billion]

Is it OK to have food in the house that belongs to a specific person?!

For instance this weekend eldest was away on camp & two youngest wanted crepes (just a cheap packet of ready made ones). Last night when eldest got back he asked if he could have one.... I said no as it was nearly dinner time and they'd been bought for the little ones.

There were two left in the pack - went to get the youngest one this morning as she asked for it for breakfast and eldest has eaten BOTH. He's also denied it but it couldn't be anyone else.

I've had chocolate bought for my birthday recently and eldest has helped themselves (I wouldn't mind but I've shared it when I've been eating it so it's not as if I've been selfish). They don't care that it's not theirs, if it's not hidden, they eat it.

There's plenty of other food in the house that they're welcome to help themselves to.... bread, cooked meats, cheese, a selection of cereals, fruit, yogurt etc

So am I being unreasonable saying that if something is bought for someone else it should still be there for them to eat?!

I also agree
all this over a packet of cheap ready made crepes. Cringeworthy.

It's a pattern of being inconsiderate, no MN thread is just about the last resort incident. Members of the family can't save nice things for themselves because one member helps themselves. How can anyone be relaxed about food if one person takes the nicest stuff if they don't finish it fast?

It’s not about them not getting a share, it’s your eldest not listening to your instructions.
YANBU.

no the point was loud and clear - her son wanted pancakes and mum hadn't bought enough for everyone. Buy two packs. End of. Quit moaning.

If mum can only afford pancakes for 2 children when she has 3 children, don't buy any pancakes at all. Or, buy two packs - end of. Quit moaning.

This. Definitely.

mumsnetters live on a different planet sometimes. “Just buy two” like money grows on trees. “Why didn’t you buy two if you know he wanted some” well because he wasn’t there and he probably didn’t specifically want crepes, he just came home and wanted to hoover up whatever was in the cupboard.

I imagine like a typical 14 year old boy he eats everything in sight so the younger ones finally got a treat and requested one for breakfast, only to find he’d come home and eaten them anyway.
The younger ones are being shown if you want anything nice binge eat it all at once or hide it.

@Augustmummy

she had given the eldest money for treats while he was away

why should the younger two have missed out on treats?

@Augustmummy
this exactly

Surely a 14 year old should have a healthy appetite, if money is an issue make your own pancakes or buy some really cheap chocolate for every one

Everyone’s 🤦🏼‍♀️

We have had this issue. Middle child is 19 and has cash. Youngest is 9 and we buy her treats. 19 year old always buys for themselves without sharing and then eats younger child's stuff.
Got to the point where 9 year old was hiding sweets. Totally unfair.
19 year old now at uni so 9 year old can relax. Really shitty but when I'm at work there isn't much I can do. I don't think this is odd and people need to respect boundaries, stop being entitled and recognise that just because one child has something this doesn't mean everyone gets a share.

Agree

Not unreasonable. Equality in a home doesn't mean everyone gets the exact same things. It means everyone gets as similar amount of things as is possible. The eldest got to go out to a camp, took treats with them, had spending money for more treats. I have a teen like this, who will eat other people's food, even their leftovers from eating out (she has already finished hers) or treats that they bought and hid. One time, she ate more than half of a box of cakes and her sister asked for the last one. She yanked it out of the box and bit into it. No shortage of food in our house either. I have went to make the evenings meal and found the meat I was thawing gone. So I completely understand.

Exactly, equality and equity are not the same thing. I have 2 children, 10 years between them, so of course their dietary needs have been wildly different at any one time.

And if either of them ate my Birthday chocolate I'd kill them.

“Binge eat” wt actual f ???!!!???

talk about an overreach it was two little supermarket pancake things. Two! My five year old could eat two in a flash never mind a 14 year old.

more melodrama courtesy of this “observation” and it’s quite extraordinary

Of course you would 🫣

Just hide the food you don't want other people to eat.
Some people are the type that can't stopping thinking about - whatever tasty forbidden treat is in the house, until they eat it.

100% this. Our family locust ate a whole packet of chocolate biscuits today. The rest of the family shouldn't have to eat things fast because one person has poor impulse control or is greedy. Sometimes when I go shopping at the start of the month, I buy a four pack of everyone's favourite bar. Our locust will eat theirs with two days max and then be sniffing around. There are plenty of snacks in, they want to eat chocolate.

I used to work with someone like this. If there were 12 treats for each member of our team, they would eat one. Then sneakily eat another and another and another.

Batceanera

How old is the locust? Can you shoo him to the shop to get replacement biscuits for the rest of you?

@User3billion I agree with you but I can see you've had loads of posts where people don't. I swear people like to be contrary for no reason. You'd also think that teens won't just hoover up something that the last time you bought they wouldn't touch, let alone a special treat bought for a sibling because THEY were getting a special treat elsewhere!

And don't get me started on those that think it's mean to not want your 14 year old to eat your special birthday chocolate .

That is not what they said at all. When you have someone in your home who doesn't respect boundaries with food, it forces the other people in the house to eat the food faster than they may have wished lest they not get any at all. So, the mom and smaller kids in this situation wanted to save their crepes for a certain meal. The other child ate them first. In the future, instead of saving their crepes, the younger children will want to eat the entire package all at once to get their fair share. an easier example to understand. I have a pack of snack cakes and there are twelve in a box. I have three kids. I give each kid four snacks. Kid 1 eats all the first day. Kid 2 and 3 eat one per day. On day two, Kid 1 eats two of Kid 2's snacks. on day three, Kid 1 eats two of Kid 3's snacks. I go and buy a twelve pack again and divvy them out the same. All 3 kids eat all their snacks on the first day because that is just what Kid 1 does and Kid 2 and Kid 3 know that if they don't eat them, Kid 1 will eat them instead without permission. And that is what is meant about this behavior causing binge-eating. Not whatever you tried to misinterpret it as. And hiding food is not the answer because most people don't have the time or space to engage in such shenanigans and unless wherever you hide it is locked up tight, the kid with no boundaries will find it. And sometimes even if it is locked up.

There was plenty of other food available. He did’t eat them because there was nothing else.

15 and they will go to the shops and replace them with their own money tbf. It will also happen again. 🤷

It bugs me when people take more than their fair share.

Does that work both ways?
Can Parents eat their children's birthday chocolate?

I really think op is getting a hard time here for absolutely nothing!!! Please be kind.