To expect food to still be there if I've said no to eating it?

[User3billion]

Is it OK to have food in the house that belongs to a specific person?!

For instance this weekend eldest was away on camp & two youngest wanted crepes (just a cheap packet of ready made ones). Last night when eldest got back he asked if he could have one.... I said no as it was nearly dinner time and they'd been bought for the little ones.

There were two left in the pack - went to get the youngest one this morning as she asked for it for breakfast and eldest has eaten BOTH. He's also denied it but it couldn't be anyone else.

I've had chocolate bought for my birthday recently and eldest has helped themselves (I wouldn't mind but I've shared it when I've been eating it so it's not as if I've been selfish). They don't care that it's not theirs, if it's not hidden, they eat it.

There's plenty of other food in the house that they're welcome to help themselves to.... bread, cooked meats, cheese, a selection of cereals, fruit, yogurt etc

So am I being unreasonable saying that if something is bought for someone else it should still be there for them to eat?!

Wtf are you talking about!? Never heard such utter crap in all my life! There’s clutching at straws then there’s clutching at straws. I am a member on various forums and social media and I swear you mumsnetters are on another planet 🤦🏼‍♀️

your Poor 14 year old must feel so unwelcome and unwanted. That is serious cruelty.

Thanks for handing me the single biggest laugh of the week so far.

Serious cruelty? SERIOUS CRUELTY? For being deprived of a poor crepe (which he wasn't...) Maybe take a long hard look at actual cruelty cases and stop throwing around such ridiculous and frankly offensive comments to those that have been victims of cruelty.

@HappyinChester

hahah good one 🤣

Who actually thinks a packet of crepes is equivalent to a week away with the freedom to buy any surgery rubbish you like?
no wonder we are fucked up .

Umm, who “brought them up”?

look no further.

Imagine not feeling comfortable to eat what's in the cupboards in your home you live with your family. How very sad.

Yes unfortunately he has no boundaries, his brother is totally different but they were brought up the same. I just keep finding new hiding places, sigh.

He shouldn't have eaten both without checking anyone else wanted them. Greedy.

@abw94

imagine feeling entitled enough to eat whatever is in the cupboards of your family home including chocolates night as a PRESENT for SOMEONE ELSES BIRTHDAY

@threatmatrix

does he do it with his mates food and / or his gf/bf’s food? Or is it just yours??

@lightisnotwhite

i know! Yet people are determined to make out like OPs son is soooooo hard done by and deprived of treats

OP you came on AIBU to ask just that. General consensus is yes, you are. Clearly you just wanted perfect to make you feel validated.
You have a 14 year old! Permanently starving and with very little though, sounds entirely normal to me!

My DC have their own tin for choc etc. when it’s gone, it’s gone. When Ds2 would eat his own and then eat DS1s aswell. He’d deny it but the wrapper would be in his bin. I’d then buy DS1 a replacement and nothing for DS2. DS2 is now 15 and has stopped taking DS1 choc.

Yes it does. If you have personally asked for, and been bought something as a treat, then it is yours. Other people can't just go and help themselves to something that doesn't belong to them.

I'm with the OP on this one, especially since the eldest dc has form for it.

Because the occasion they were seemingly for was over... making them seem like leftovers.

'Spares', if you will.

Yanbu if food or treats are off limits, they should.not be eaten. You said no, your eldest ate both pancakes and put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. He was bvu.

I buy biscuits and treats with shopping, when they are gone, they are gone. They get eaten fairly quickly, often before I have a chance to have any. I have a cupboard were certain treats go. I save them for when we watch a film or whatever. No-one is allowed in there unless I say so, it's like the Derry Girls Christmas cupboard.

One of the DC is a bottomless pit. One of my bros was the same. The fridge and freezer are full, they would rather eat sweets. I'd rather some of their snacks were a bit healthier.

My eldest DS has form for this too when he was a teenager. He was like a locust. Anything in the kitchen was fair game even other family members presents usually belonging to younger DS. I was forever having to adapt recipes because he had eaten some of the ingredients. And whatever it was he would eat the lot like a whole pack of cherry tomatoes or a whole packet of biscuits in one go. We are pretty laid back about stuff but it was annoying and there was plenty of food to go around. @User3billion I ended up having to write "leave" or "DS2's" on things. Fortunately he wasn't cheeky enough to ignore them

I think in some situations it’s ok to have food for other people specifically. Maybe if someone was going away and I’d bought their lunch and snacks I might say don’t touch that it’s for X’s trip or if I had something specific for an allergy.

I think the pancake scenario sounded a bit harsh when reading it…… I would probably reply more like ‘oh no we got them when you were away and they’re looking forward to them, wait until I’m making them and we’ll share’ or I’d say I’d buy some more next time I’m at the shop. I think just saying no they’re for that others when you’re a family just sounded a bit off.

My son ate an entire pack of chocolates the other day without mentioning it. I was fuming, I said you ask before you open up a packet of something and also don’t be so selfish that there’s none left for anyone else so I do know what you mean.

The totally disobeying your instructions……😡

My son stole food he knew wasn’t his all the time, it was part of an impulsivity control issue symptomatic of his ADHD

Why not just buy more crepes so there's enough for everyone

I agree with this. I can't imagine complaining to a bunch of strangers about my child like this about food.

Here's an idea - buy two packs?? whats the big deal and why cant your son have some pancakes? Just buy enough for everyone - quit moaning..

You are missing the point entirely.

Yeah I agree that it's okay that someone has something that they choose earmarked for them, someone else in the house could always request them too next time your shopping.
I'm like that with squirty cream, I like it but my son is crazy about it and I get it for him, if I was as bothered I'd get it in more often.

@Augustmummy

not everyone can afford to buy two of everything all the time