To leave an 11 year old alone for 6 hours?

[MamMedusa]

DH has a work thing on Monday that I'm "expected" to attend. DD is 11 (12 in Nov) & is adamant she isn't coming. She started secondary school this year, she's been letting herself in around 4pm and is alone until I get home from work around 5pm which has gone well so far, she's even started dinner on a couple of occasions, so her reasoning is that if she's capable of doing that then she's capable of spending a day alone.
She's pretty sensible for her age & can't see any major disasters happening, however we live on military camp so she has the guard room number for emergencies as well as obviously knowing how to call for an ambulance etc. We'll be around a 25 min drive away.

DH thinks she's too young & wants to make her come with us, however he'll essentially be working the entire time & it'll be me who's left to deal with her sulking & attitude, which in all honesty I really cba with atm.
I could stay home with her but this is one of the few of his work events I actually want to attend.
Genuinely not sure what to do for the best.

@Hye000

it was a year ago, OP probably can’t even remember!!

I wouldn't leave my 11 year old for a long period of time on her own.

I would insist she comes and be part of the family activity/ Arrange a babysitter/ Stay at home with her/ Organise a sleepover.

Is that because you don’t trust her in that situation? Not all 11year olds are the same, just like not all 18year olds are the same and certainly some cannot be trusted but people assume because they are 18 they should be or are responsible

No, I wouldn't leave her alone all day at that age.
Is there anyone else you can leave her with?

I mean if @MamMedusa had left her child at home alone for the 11 months since this thread was started you might have a point 🤷🏼‍♀️

Perfectly fine and I did this from age 10 for inset days where no holiday care was available, then more regularly for school holidays from 11.

As a lone parent, my annual leave was nowhere near the 13 weeks of school holidays so I did the best I could to break it up. Local holiday care was not fit for purpose as it started the same time as I started work and children were not allowed to get themselves there like they did for school everyday.

Nothing to do with trust. I don't think that my 12 year old would do anything dangerous but, i personally wouldn't leave a child on their own for a long period of time.
I also don't think that it is good for a child's mental health to just be on their own for extended periods.

I also don't think that it is good for a child's mental health to just be on their own for extended periods.

This is why I did my best to use annual leave days to break up the weeks. DS was never alone for a full week until lockdown 2020 when he was 13. We had a week camping holiday then the rest of my leave was odd days here and there. Leaving him home during early lockdown I hugely regret, I should have sent him into school straight after Easter 😔.

Way too young… can she not go to a friend’s?

Zombie

This was nearly a year ago. Look at the date. ZOMBIE.

They'll live. The dramatic responses here are insane. How do people cope with life living in such hysteria? Imagine living like that. An 11 year old isn't going to drop dead or be in an apocalyptic fire because their parent has dared leave the home.

It's so horrible isn't it with working and also having to be there for our kids and also working/lockdown etc. But, you didnt have a choice and done the best you thought in that situation as we all had to do during covid. It was a horrible situation that we never thought we would have had to deal with that.

But, it sounds like the OP has a choice and doesn't have to leave their 11 year old on their own in this occasion.

But, it sounds like the OP has a choice and doesn't have to leave their 11 year old on their own in this occasion.

I think one short day is a good idea at this age as a gentle introduction to staying home more than a couple of hours as I'm sure more odd days here and there will come up in the future. I'm glad my DS was at least used to staying home for full days or lockdown would have been worse.

Military camp with guards and emergency numbers? Nearly 12 and has been doing N hour or so for nearly a year, then I would say she fine but it's your confidence and how you feel. Personally the military camp alone is safer than most places.

Exactly my point… I think it’s hilarious that people think an 11year old is too young to be left alone and worry about their mental health from being alone for a few hours 🤣🤣 exactly the reason why so many kids have anxiety is because they are never allowed to use their own brain and self resources FGS!

I’d have killed to have the house to myself for a day when I was 11.

Think most would!!