Husband not invited to stag event

[Lorrymum]

My niece (brothers daughter)was married last year. We travelled to Florida for the wedding. My DH kept asking when the stag do would take place but it seemed nothing was happening so dropped it.
When we returned he saw pictures Facebook of a shooting event that every man who was at the wedding attended but he hadn't been asked to.
He is deeply hurt and when I asked my brother about it he just said someone else arranged it and my DH had somehow been forgotten.
I can't forgive my brother for this and we just feel ridiculous for continually asking about something that had already happened but was kept from us for some reason.

YANBU

I can't believe the people on here not really understanding that when all men who are at the wedding are invited to a stag do and leave one person out it's just not ok

Especially because it definitely sounds like the stag happened in Florida from the OPs first post

Did the stag do happen in Florida?

How close is your DH to the groom?

fiances fathers sisters husband

why would he go to the stag

did you go to the hen

not your brothers fault

it was his sil to be. His friends etc

not his fil sisters husband

sauing all that if was 26 of yiu at the wedding so assuming prob 50/50 if couples so maybe 13 men and all bar your hubby went so 12 does seem a bit weird /mean

but

it was last year. Get over it

We didn't realise he wasn't invited. The stag do took place in the UK before we arrived in Florida. How can it be rude to ask about something that is a normal event before a wedding?

Get over it. He didn't go and it can't be changed. And by the sounds of it, it wasn't your brothers fault so why are you mad at him?

I think the relationship is too distant to expect a stag do invite unless they are especially close.

I can see maybe bride's father and any brothers but beyond that, it's for mates isn't it? It must be annoying that your brother wasn't honest but maybe he felt awkward as there was an assumption your husband was invited,

Also, I agree with others that it's a bit strange to still be so hung up on this.

Which other family went?

tbh none of my family were invited on my hen do, I did not want them there for that!

It's rude because he wasn't invited! Why on earth would you keep asking about an event that no-one had invited you to?

It's rude to assume you're invited, especially if you're not close to the groom.

And of course you realised he hadn't been invited.....the clue being that he hadn't, in fact, been invited.

I think people are as usual getting side tracked by the family relationship and what they think is 'usual' and are missing the point.
A group of 26 people attended the wedding. All the men attending except your husband went to the stag. So only one man was left out, your husband. There was a deliberate attempt to avoid him being there by not answering his questions about the arrangements.
Yes OP, this is weird and hurtful and suggests someone in the group didn't want him there. I'd suspect he is not liked by some or all of the main players in the wedding party.

Asking is different to continually asking. It’s also odd to ask about the stag do, whilst on the wedding trip.

When you asked they obviously realised and didn’t want to say ‘oh we have already had it’ when the realised your and your assumed assumed he would be invited to a post wedding stag do.

It was a small wedding. I bet every other man there has a better relationship with the groom.

Is your husband particularly close to the groom? Or your brother?

I think as it was a small wedding, they could have invited him. But as he is the Grooms fiancés Aunts husband it probably slipped someone’s mind.

Its really unusual to be this upset this long after it happened.

I don’t think Grooms as standard really ask their fiancés, Aunts husband to stag parties. It’s usually the people they know well.

I would just let it go.

If it had happened in Florida (which I assumed as it's a very Floridian type activity) then it would have been rude, as it didn't then not so much.

Also, I'd never expect to be involved in something I wasn't invited to because it's rude.

Is he annoyed that he was left out because they're best friends? I guess no.

Because if he had been invited they would've invited him?

Why are you going on to your brother about this when it wasn't his wedding?

My dad and dbros didnt attended dh stag he invited his friends he was within his rights to do so and no one was offended. You dh is put of order to be so upset.

I am sorry but now you have explained the stag do took place in the uk before you all travelled together - sorry your hubby is being oversensitive. Just because he is invited to a wedding as your partner does not mean the stag would think to invite him to his stag do. Presumably you are a similar age to your brother and a similar age to your husband - this young man might not have it even cross his mind your hubby would even want to come. You are both really being ridiculous and falling out with everyone over this.

I sorry I think you’ll find most people will think it’s rude your hubby was asking about the stag do - the stag gets to invite who he wants.

Are people not reading the full post here. There were 26 people at the overseas wedding, the stag do was held on location. OP and her husband used up their annual leave and presumably a fair amount of money to attend the event. All the men out of the 26 went off on a trip and didn’t invite OP’s husband. It is unbelievably rude.

Are you not reading?

The stag do was in the Uk before they left.

Op never said on location and clarified after 🙄

Are you not reading the updates? The stag happened in the U.K.

I take my above post back. As the event was in the UK then no of course it was not rude and in fact I would swing the other way that your husband was rude to pester about it and I cannot even understand why he thinks he would be invited.

@Aprilx

OP has confirmed stag do was in UK before they travelled.

Why can't you forgive your brother for it? It's got nothing to do with him - sounds like it was organised by his SIL's friends.

You need to let this go but unlike most I can see why you would be a bit upset by this. If there was quite a small party travelling together for this wedding then I think it would have been nice for your DH to have been invited to the stag do so everyone knew each other before the wedding. I may be saying this though as my DH is quite close with my uncles and they were invited to his stag so that’s quite a normal thing to me.

YABU to be constantly asking about this though, I would have just accepted it and left it.