Page 11 | Husband not invited to stag event

Lorrymum · 2022-09-17T16:15:51+00:00

My niece (brothers daughter)was married last year. We travelled to Florida for the wedding. My DH kept asking when the stag do would take place but it seemed nothing was happening so dropped it. When we returned he saw pictures Facebook of a shooting event that every man who was at the wedding attended but he hadn't been asked to. He is deeply hurt and when I asked my brother about it he just said someone else arranged it and my DH had somehow been forgotten. I can't forgive my brother for this and we just feel ridiculous for continually asking about something that had already happened but was kept from us for some reason.

Shinyandnew1 · 20/09/2022 22:04

The relationships between stag party are of no consequence.

They are hugely important. The fact you and your husband don’t understand that is pretty telling here.

How close are the groom and your husband? Had they ever been to the pub together before the wedding, for example?

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 20/09/2022 22:20

If the relationships aren’t that important, you’ll have no problem with sharing them, will you?

LicoricePizza · 20/09/2022 22:37

Why are people not getting that if the groom didn’t want OP’s OH to attend - as is his right - doesn’t anyone think it bad manners (given it was such a small wedding & they were staying en masse abroad) to have simply told her OH that the stag had taken place already - when he was asking about it whilst there??

Doesn’t strike anyone as rude - given they were supporting the bride & groom, travelled to celebrate their wedding with them, are as close to them as OP says they are (even if her brother -not the groom) had simply said it had already taken place?

Then at least it could be explained as in oh it was close mates/family only or restricted numbers or the person organised forgot to include him etc?

There are several tenets to this & everyone is focussing on how utterly unreasonable the OP was for being disappointed by the treatment from her own family.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 20/09/2022 22:44

LicoricePizza · 20/09/2022 22:37

Why are people not getting that if the groom didn’t want OP’s OH to attend - as is his right - doesn’t anyone think it bad manners (given it was such a small wedding & they were staying en masse abroad) to have simply told her OH that the stag had taken place already - when he was asking about it whilst there??

Doesn’t strike anyone as rude - given they were supporting the bride & groom, travelled to celebrate their wedding with them, are as close to them as OP says they are (even if her brother -not the groom) had simply said it had already taken place?

Then at least it could be explained as in oh it was close mates/family only or restricted numbers or the person organised forgot to include him etc?

There are several tenets to this & everyone is focussing on how utterly unreasonable the OP was for being disappointed by the treatment from her own family.

The simplest explanation is usually the correct one. OP’s brother said someone else organised the stag do and forgot about OP’s husband. Is there any reason to believe this isn’t the truth? Bride’s aunt’s husband wouldn’t be on the radar of your average best man. Rather than say it happened without him, they fudged it. Maybe they should have fessed up, but I doubt they thought anyone would get this dramatic about it.

LicoricePizza · 20/09/2022 22:49

Of course there’s always an explanation -but asking when the stag was & not be told - meaning presumably he continued to ask (for which OP has been called all kinds of things)?

That’s ok is it?

Pixiedust1234 · 20/09/2022 22:50

LicoricePizza · 20/09/2022 22:37

Why are people not getting that if the groom didn’t want OP’s OH to attend - as is his right - doesn’t anyone think it bad manners (given it was such a small wedding & they were staying en masse abroad) to have simply told her OH that the stag had taken place already - when he was asking about it whilst there??

Doesn’t strike anyone as rude - given they were supporting the bride & groom, travelled to celebrate their wedding with them, are as close to them as OP says they are (even if her brother -not the groom) had simply said it had already taken place?

Then at least it could be explained as in oh it was close mates/family only or restricted numbers or the person organised forgot to include him etc?

There are several tenets to this & everyone is focussing on how utterly unreasonable the OP was for being disappointed by the treatment from her own family.

But the father of the bride has already given an explanation. A friend of the groom organised it.

But op can't cope with that. How dare a stranger not invite her husband, even though he doesn't know him. Honestly, if ops husband was that close and special to the groom then the friend would have known about the relationship and invited him. But he didn't.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 20/09/2022 23:23

LicoricePizza · 20/09/2022 22:49

Of course there’s always an explanation -but asking when the stag was & not be told - meaning presumably he continued to ask (for which OP has been called all kinds of things)?

That’s ok is it?

But why did he continue to ask? Learn to take a bloody hint!

BadNomad · 20/09/2022 23:44

I think the OP is more annoyed and embarrassed that everyone kept lying to them about it when they asked. That wasn't necessary.

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 00:26

BadNomad · 20/09/2022 23:44

I think the OP is more annoyed and embarrassed that everyone kept lying to them about it when they asked. That wasn't necessary.

They were embarrassed and annoyed that this dude kept asking, inappropriately, about a stag do he was never invited on and was obviously in the past! They didn't know what to say to him, they just hoped he would take all the clear social clues to stop asking.

BadNomad · 21/09/2022 01:00

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 00:26

They were embarrassed and annoyed that this dude kept asking, inappropriately, about a stag do he was never invited on and was obviously in the past! They didn't know what to say to him, they just hoped he would take all the clear social clues to stop asking.

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I know. I said that earlier on in the thread. I just think the thread has moved on, so it isn't necessary for people to still be telling her that she's "unreasonable to be annoyed at the lack of invite", when that isn't her issue.

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 01:17

The thread has moved one...since I responded to your post? The actual previous post?
wtf are you on about?

heartbroken22 · 21/09/2022 01:59

Lorrymum · 19/09/2022 09:17

I haven't fallen out with my brother. He probably has no idea how I feel about what happened. I haven't even discussed it with my husband. Its just something I feel and I can't shake off.
If my husband wasn't wanted at the stag for whatever reason, so be it. But to keep us in the dark about something by my own family is hurtful.
We had been involved with discussions prior to wedding. We were under the impression the stag do would take place in Florida. That is why we expected it to happen while we were in Florida and why we asked while in Florida. We didn't keep banging on about it but every morning we wondered if it would happen that evening. We would have to make arrangements, clothes, money, transport etc.
No one told us it had happened at home until we saw it on a fellow guests Facebook page.

I'd feel the same tbh. It was extremely rude. To find out that had a stag do afterwards online would have been really hurtful. How's your hubby? It seems like they count you as family but they don't count your husband as family. Plus it seems like your husband does make an effort with them. Could you think of why they may not have invited him? Perhaps they don't like him/are jealous and that's not very nice.

BadNomad · 21/09/2022 02:03

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 01:17

The thread has moved one...since I responded to your post? The actual previous post?
wtf are you on about?

What are you on about?

People are still responding to the opening post that OP is being ridiculous for being upset about her DH not being invited. She has clarified (badly) since, that that is not actually her issue. Her issue is that people kept lying to her/them about it.

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 03:10

BadNomad · 21/09/2022 02:03

What are you on about?

People are still responding to the opening post that OP is being ridiculous for being upset about her DH not being invited. She has clarified (badly) since, that that is not actually her issue. Her issue is that people kept lying to her/them about it.

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yes I know, which is why I clearly responded to that issue! Can you not read?

BadNomad · 21/09/2022 03:16

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 03:10

yes I know, which is why I clearly responded to that issue! Can you not read?

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God, you're obnoxious. You replied to me first about something I said that wasn't aimed at you.

TheGoodFighter · 21/09/2022 03:18

I can only assume you are drunk. I literally quoted you and drectly responded to your point, You dont appear to know what you wrote, let alone anyone else.

Go to bed