Husband not invited to stag event

[Lorrymum]

My niece (brothers daughter)was married last year. We travelled to Florida for the wedding. My DH kept asking when the stag do would take place but it seemed nothing was happening so dropped it.
When we returned he saw pictures Facebook of a shooting event that every man who was at the wedding attended but he hadn't been asked to.
He is deeply hurt and when I asked my brother about it he just said someone else arranged it and my DH had somehow been forgotten.
I can't forgive my brother for this and we just feel ridiculous for continually asking about something that had already happened but was kept from us for some reason.

My niece was married in last May. My OH was not invited to the Stag. He didn't give a damn and neither did I. Relieved is the word more like.

But that scenario is unusual in itself!

I didn't say it never happens, just that it's unusual.

Wife’s aunt’s husband isn’t really a close enough relationship to guarantee a stag do invite, is it? If it was in the U.K. before the wedding then I wouldn’t worry about it. If it was during the trip abroad and every other man was invited then that’s a pretty deliberate omission and I’d assume the groom doesn’t like your husband.

The chain to the groom is groom - niece - her dad - you - DH. That's quite far removed.

If you have sisters whose husbands were invited that's different.

Absolutely appalling behaviour from them after you spent all that money to attend their wedding too. I would be absolutely fuming. It's rude, dishonest and insulting.

Why are you asking your brother and not the groom?

He's the brides uncle by marriage. I wouldn't expect him to be invited. He was only invited to the wedding because he's your husband.

Why are you angry with your brother? He didn’t even organize the stag do. Telling your future son in law who he must invite to his stag do is a terrible idea and would likely affect the relationship.

I think not being able to forgive your brother is a little dramatic, it's not really your brother's fault.

The stag party is for the groom, let’s call him bob.

Your dh is Bobs wife’s aunts husband?

I wouldn’t invite Dps uncles wife to a hen party tbh.

Your dh was invited to the wedding because you are the brides Aunt. That doesn’t make him a friend of the groom. I am guessing that every other man there knows the groom quite well.

Also what is your dh relationship like with bride and groom and your brother. Are they all close? I take you have been together a long time?

Being mad at your brother when he didn’t organise it is pointless.

But there could be situations where yanbu to be upset and situations where yabu to be upset all depending on the relationships in the family.

I can’t help wonder if you and your dh ‘continually’ asking for the event, might be part of the reason he wasn’t invited

OP when was the drag party? Was it in Florida or back home before leaving? It makes a difference, especially if you don't live near your niece.

If every other male attendee at the wedding was there, then it seems perfectly natural to me OP's husband would be invited too. Unless there's some tortured backstory.

And they weren't told that there was an event planned, so he wasn't repeatedly asking about an event he knew he hadn't been invited to.

I understand why he is annoyed, but its not worth brooding over.

Ultimately, so what? He probably didn't know most of the people there and would never have seen them again anyway.

Another example of why stag / hen dos are more trouble than they are worth and detract from what is important - the wedding itself.

Good lord! Let it go 🤣

To the groom it’s his wife’s aunt’s husband. It’s shit to lie about it after the fact but I’m not surprised he wasn’t invited in the first place.

I was thinking that.

I assumed it was in Florida. But then I am think what weee the op and her husband doing that day. They must have had their own plans without the rest of the family, or surly they would have noticed all the men gone.

It's hardly unforgivable territory, is it? Have a little sulk then move on.

Maybe they don’t like him.

Stop asking about it. They didn't want him there. Take the hint.

Agreed. Utterly bizarre, unless they're close.

I can't forgive my brother for this and we just feel ridiculous for continually asking about something that had already happened but was kept from us for some reason.

Its rude to keep asking about something you obviously aren’t invited to.
I can’t believe your DH even expected to be invited! His wife’s brother’s daughter’s fiancé?? What a loose connection!
My husband’s aunts/ uncles came to our wedding but I would never have invited the women to my hen for the simple reason that we aren’t friends and that’s weird.

Does your DH have any kind of relationship with the groom? Are they bessy mates that text each other all the time?

50p says not

OP, please answer the questions! Was the stag do while everyone was in Florida? If so, how come neither you nor your husband noticed that he was the only man around?

And quiet honestly, under normal circumstances, fiance's aunt's husband is not normally close enough for a stag invitation, it's for friends of the groom, not distant relatives of a different family.