To think they should sack her?

[Yellowdove]

Colleague in work seems to lie a lot about her home/ family life that are easily proven to be untrue. However, she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue (as far as we know). My point is how can we trust her if she lies about such pointless stuff in such a compulsive way?! HR seems to be saying as a it isn’t a work issue there’s nothing we can do. But how is it not a work issue?

The OP has no doubt hidden thread

Someone like this is not going to have a full and happy life - so I pity her really

I used to know someone who was like this - it was exhausting.

Anyone who is quoting “GDPR” clearly doesn’t have a clue what GDPR is or when it’s applicable. Laughable

No it’s called working today. 🙄

Telling weird lies is sort of excusable in a child (a boy at my school told everyone that Jean Claude Van Dam was his uncle) but once someone’s an adult, it becomes in quite poor taste. The person I’m thinking of told a really long, dramatic thing about some injury her Dad had got … except it was nonsense.

Nothing to do with GDPR, you’re right. But childcare works have separate confidentiality rules they have to adhere to that often go as deep as not even being able to identify a child by name to outside people. Your aunt has definitely broken that confidentiality agreement.

Step back from her OP, this could backfire on you massively, just give her a wide berth and let her dig her own grave (so to speak)

I worked with someone similar who told everyone they had cancer, their grandmother (same one) died at least 3 times in 8 months, funeral the lot and various other crackers. I realised very early on she was a dramatic and a complete fantasist and left them to it. They lasted just over a year and it was fucking exhausting working with them.

Leave HR to do their job and you do you OP

Anyone who thinks that they know better than an HR department when they are not HR trained clearly doesn't have a clue.

So when you get her sacked, how would your aunt feel about losing a child to mind and the wrath of her "friend" when she finds out that her gossiping partially caused her getting the sack?

OP thinks she know better than HR though!

OP may not realize that the best way to find out who is talking about you behind your back is to feed them some disinformation and see if it gets back to you.

Has she learnt nothing from Vardy and Rooney

OP’s aunt isn’t exactly covering herself in glory, is she? Has supposedly become friends with this woman, friendly enough to attend parties in her house but hasn’t had the integrity to say “oh btw, you work with my niece”, and instead is being duplicitous and gossiping about the woman.

Fwiw, I lie at work about my personal life. For two reasons, one bring that some aspects of it are unconventional and the second being that it’s simply not anyone else’s business. End of. Now, I tend to lie by saying very little, answering ‘not much’ when asked my weekend plans, being vague and non-committal etc but I have definitely told some lies. Does that impact on my performance at work? Absolutely not. I’m damn good at what I do. Anyone who tried ‘gently calling me out’ would not get far with me and I can’t imagine HR would give a fuck about it if approached by a concerned colleague. However, HR absolutely did give a fuck when approached by me about a colleague who spread a very damaging rumour about me, and there was ample proof of the malicious action…she no longer works here.

is it really obsessive to

think X is married to a lady and has a boy
be told that she is married to a man and has twin girls

then think "maybe i'll double check that in Facebook"?

surely its the most obvious next step (bar all those who'd shrug their shoulders and go "meh").

Has she learnt nothing from Vardy and Rooney

😂

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I've worked with two major fantasists. The man was eventually managed out because frankly his constant Walter Mitty monologuing about his nonexistent exploits was deemed a distraction, and his work was dreadful and frankly he was creepy. That's the problem with fantasists. They come across like they're gonna snap. Glassy eyed stare with nothing on upstairs.

The woman was treated a bit more sympathetically but that just meant she drivelled on even more until it did become a HR issue. She lived alone in a council flat but went on that she had lots of children, whose names kept changing, and she 'bought her dinner on Harrods' even though we are hundreds of miles from Harrods.

They do bring you in if you become such a distracting nutcase you come across as unwell. Her making up fake twins and a fake sexuality and a fake spouse is pretty much 'losing grip on reality' territory.

Why not just call her out? "You're boring as fuck, you're married to a man called Derek, you have a dull life and no one is convinced you are remotely interesting just because you make shit up like a lonely 12 year old".

Yeah they go all sad for a bit but it shuts them up.

It was... YellowDove's account.

It wasn’t for exaggerating/ fibbing they were managed out.
It was for “dreadful” work and distracting others with incessant talk. Whether the talk was the truth or fake was irrelevant

Why not just call her out? "You're boring as fuck, you're married to a man called Derek, you have a dull life and no one is convinced you are remotely interesting just because you make shit up like a lonely 12 year old".

if a colleague said that to another colleague, no matter the situation, I would think WTF, what a… ***

@NovaDeltas so your colleague was crap at their job, their work was dreadful and they talk so incessantly that it was deemed a distraction.

Newsflash: it wasn't the number of kids they had or where they really bought their dinner from that lost them the job

So they got sacked for being useless, this person is good at their job, won't be the same outcome!

Not only are you unreasonable, you are rude. It doesnt matter what you think you know, you actually have no idea. She could have multiple relationships, or kids within her circle that she loves and considers her own that arent her own. You have no ground to speculate, let alone be bothered. The fact that you are sounds like you have nothing better to do with your time than cutting other people down. Should worry about yourself. I get the feeling that you will gain something if she leaves work, and that sounds like your genuine intention. Leave this lady alone, and please grow up. The world doesnt revolve around you.

Has it occurred to you that your aunt doesn’t know every aspect of this ladies life? Maybe she isn’t lying about how many children she has, maybe shes lost a child or has one she doesn’t see. Your auntie shouldn’t be disclosing personal information about clients.

Maybe she only sounds like shes lying because you genuinely have no idea what her life is actually like. Maybe she doesnt share as much with your aunt as you thought. Maybe your aunt is as misinformed as you are. You stand very hard on the fact that she is a liar, but you honestly do not know that, you've just been nosy and think that you have correct insight. What if coworker has an open relationship and her other partner is a woman too? If she didnt share this with your aunt, because its none of her business, how would you know? What if this woman shes dating has twins the same age as her son? You never deserved an explanation, and she never deserved your accusations.

You sound bored, ignorant, rude, entitled, and cruel. Get help fast because you are the problem and if you have this sort of perspective in all your relationships, theyll likely be short lived.

I genuinely hope and have my fingers crossed that you learn the hard way. Like, I hope it's you that gets fired and that the rest of your coworkers see how terrible you are.

FYI, im not being mean, you asked for this. So take the time and learn, the polls dont lie. Grow up.