To think they should sack her?

[Yellowdove]

Colleague in work seems to lie a lot about her home/ family life that are easily proven to be untrue. However, she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue (as far as we know). My point is how can we trust her if she lies about such pointless stuff in such a compulsive way?! HR seems to be saying as a it isn’t a work issue there’s nothing we can do. But how is it not a work issue?

You sound like a delightful work colleague OP

Why is her personal and private life of such a conern
YABU

She is good at her job. End of

Her personal life is not your business and nor should it be living rent free in your head

As for your aunt 'breaching confidentiality' - she's a childminder, not her gynaecologist! Mentioning how many kids a mutual acquaintance has, or the fact that they're married doesn't fall within any reasonable level of 'confidentiality'. 😂

Yes it does. GDPR. It’s not a ‘mutual acquaintance’ it’s the colleagues employee and she’s gossiping about things she knows as a result of her employment, and now it’s all over MN as a result. Anything learned as a result of employment can be considered breach of confidentiality if repeated. Sackable offence and the OP has facilitated it with this thread.

No, the OPs treatment of her work colleague to the point of coming on MN for support with a very outing thread which implicates the colleagues childminder in a breach of confidentiality which could lose her her job. That’s what’s horrendous.

Registered childminders are subject to GDPR so anything learned as a result of her employment and repeated, is covered. The OP has also posted that info on social media, which doesn’t help.

GDPR isn't the official secrets act. It's about processing digital personal data by automated means. Honestly, get a grip.

Yep. It's clear from so many threads on MN, that the vast majority of posters who refer to it, don't have a clue what GDPR is and what constitutes a breach of it.

Yes it is. The aunt is employed by the colleague, is disclosing information she came by as a result of that employment and gossiping about it with a mutual acquaintance. That mutual acquaintance then posted it on MN.

Not sure if anyone has suggested but maybe she’s just winding you up?
could be that she finds work colleagues asking about personal life unnecessary/ boring/ sensitive so decided to make things up… could also be that she finds it funny to see you getting irritated by things that have nothing to do with you 🤣

But claiming to be gay and facing discrimination is a bit further than just "protecting her privacy"

I'm not even sure it's "calling someone out" if you said "isn't your husband Bob?"

I mean how does she then take that to hr and claim bullying? "I told everyone I had a wife, someone pointed out I am married to Bob, which is true, I made up kill. it's SO MEAN"

Does this colleague work with incredibly personal sensitive data or elderly vulnerable people? I'm a bit confused by that.
Next time she mentions her twin girls just say I thought you had a boy. Its not illegal or harassment to clarify information.
Maybe her 'husband' is transgender have you asked?

I think this is a really tricky one. As I’ve seen examples of people not disclosing truths about their personal life to colueges or people they don’t know know. And knowing it’s for completely understandable reasons.and they have been the best of people.
I think lies are shit. But this is slightly different depending on the reason for changing your personal life.
and yes they could be a wrongen but I’ve seen they could not.
and I think there would be more red flags.
and you say op they are a nice person and good at their job and never seen anything else untoward. So I’d just try to love on.unless your jot telling us something this doesn’t seem sinister or a typical “lier” and I’m sure the hr investigated your concerns and if they are shutting you down there must be a reason.

Look, none of us can really say can we as who knows if she is lying or not. I suppose you can post back when you have 'investigated' her fully maybe? 🙄

While I agree the childminder is unprofessional to be gossiping about parents of kids in her care, I think posters mentioning GDPR are confused about what it is.

The UK High Court ruled oral disclosures do not constitute “data”, for the purposes of the DAta Protection Act 1998, and consequently do not fall within the scope of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) that has now superseded it.

You obviously haven't experienced grooming from fraudster and con man.

Also I don't agree with the 'pile on' comments, you seem so outraged about it is why people have said step away, and that is actually advice that will help you not end up in the fire lining for being a bully like my colleague did when she reported my 'lies' (not lies at all just me recognising she was extremely nosy and a bully so didn't want her to know too much of me personally - a technique called 'grey rock') and commented about personal issues about me to our manager. You've mentioned it to HR as you felt it was appropriate, you can just talk to her when she talks to you like others have said and say oh thought you had twins etc. But the outrage and wanting her sacked will backfire on you.

Be very careful, the woman that was obsessed with my personal life at work made me suicidal and was herself sacked.

Well the OP disappeared from this thread at pretty much the same time posters started showing up defending her. More cynical people than I might wonder if she has two or three accounts and has posted some defences of herself from other accounts. Now that would be even weirder than the stalking on Facebook and trying to get a colleague sacked for a non offence 🤔

@OldAndTubby Definitely one account that was very aggressive.

HR do not consider it a work related issue. You disagree.

Who is likely to know better on a question like that? You or HR?

LOLing at all the armchair warriors on here INSISTING that they are 100% totally fine with working with someone who is a compulsive liar, and that actually the OP is the wicked one for having the temerity to be concerned about it.

I do work with a compulsive liar. Not just little lies, but big stinking black ones. It’s tiresome and boring. However, none of us have ever caught him lying about work or telling any lies which have impacted on his ability to do the job. So we all roll our eyes, change the subject and mind our own business. The OP has actively tried to get this woman the sack. To take away her ability to pay her mortgage and keep her children warm and fed. And not because the liar can’t do her job, or is doing something to discredit the business, but because the OP is angry she hasn’t been honest about her family situation, something which is fuck all to do with the OP. And the OP has then tried to dress it up by claiming she’s concerned about the woman’s mental health. It’s vindictive.

Yes of course it's very strange and must be difficult for you to cope with.

Some people are just complete fantasists. She will get her comeuppance soon enough.

Just stand back and watch her dig herself into an embarrassing problem. It will happen.

Liars always get caught out in the end.

I lie about my personal life at my work. It's because my industry is small and people end up working with the same people a lot. I was abused by a former colleague and I'm worried people might know him and give innocent information about me- like ' oh yeah I work with twosents, she seems lovely. ' he would then dig for information. So I don't give any real information out at work. I pretend I live somewhere different, I NEVER say what my husband does for a living and I don't give information about my kids etc. I need to take care of myself. This person is extremely clever and dangerous. Whenever the name gets mentioned in any way, my blood runs cold. If I know someone used to work with him, I stay far far away from that person, just in case.

You never know, your colleague might have similar issues.

HR, being her best friend, will already know of bob’s existence.

Which is why it makes no sense to lie. The colleague is apparently lying about something she knows people at work? Already know isn’t trueS

It’s also, remotely, possible that Bob is a transman. My daughters previous boyfriend was a trans boy. One of the reasons she ended it was because he constantly told her she could no longer consider herself as a lesbian or gay. She didn’t agree. She was still in a same sex relationship.

@twosents Similar story to me twosents, horrendous and very scary and she still tries to find out where I am/what I am up to etc through random far flung colleagues.

My colleague was following me and reporting me to places outside of work for reasons she had fabricated due to her own mental health, very dangerous woman. I feel sorry for her but she put me through hell.