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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My neighbors...

201 replies

neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:26

Hey all, am i being unreasonable? we live in a nice area, houses were not expensive, but that is to give context. We live in a detached residence, all other neighbors are semi-d.
So, not sure what is going on. One neighbour rents, others are owners. We got on reasonably well with all neighbors, we have a baby who is less than 2 years old.
During the summer, there was a basketball hoop placed outside on the public space, we live in a cul de sac, so it was in an awkward place but we let it go. However, the basketball was being played day and late into evening. My little girl needs to have her naps and I work from home. I asked the neighbors (the 2 different parents of the kids who were playing basketball (aged between 10-16)) could they ask kids to not play after 7 pm in evening due to sleep time for my baby. I am the only one with a baby. I was received with bitterness and intimidation by one set of parents, nothing said but extremely intimidating behaviour like staring in my window while walking past etc. I dont usually let things get to me as I do believe their behaviour is more about them than me. So I let it slide.
Now the other parents who obliged to the 7 pm cut off, have stopped bringing in my bins, they bring in all the other neighbors bins but leave ours outside, this has been a few weeks. Again, I don't really care but can someone explain to me what the heck is going on? Was I really being unreasonable asking for the noise to stop at 7pm? It was non stop all day which i didnt mind but night time for my baby is important. I'd like to hear opinions please.

OP posts:
Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:29

May I add, if we are at home or see bins emptied, we also bring in the neighbors bins, not every week but when we see them.

OP posts:
CampRedLeaf · 12/09/2022 11:31

Unless your DN is employed as a refuse collector by the local council to collect refuse on your street, they're under ho obligation to bring your bin in.

They're annoyed at you that you asked their kids not to play out at 7pm. Which personally, I would be annoyed about too.

Owlsinmybedroom · 12/09/2022 11:32

There is some question over whether it is appropriate for a piece of sports equipment to be placed on the public space admittedly

But YAB extremely U to expect children to stop playing and making a noise outside after 7pm, especially when it includes ages of up to 16. 10pm maybe, but frankly 16 year olds could be doing a lot worse than playing a bit of basketball at 8 o'clock at night, and you had no right to stop that

I'm not surprised they stopped bringing in your bins. You appear to want to stop communal living when it suits you, so why shouldn't they?

Presumably you are making sure that your baby never cries past 7pm?

MiltonRoad · 12/09/2022 11:34

7 is really early particularly when the evenings are light. I would be annoyed too if you told mine to stop playing.

TulipsTwoLips · 12/09/2022 11:34

That’s really early to ask for quiet. I’m surprised they’ve stopped tbh. Many people would pleasantly but firmly say no to such a request.

HappyHamsters · 12/09/2022 11:36

You bring in your own bins, you let other children play outside while the weather is good, you put your baby in a room furthest away from the street.

Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:37

Well i am under no obligation to allow a basketball to be played in a public space and could report it to the police as an obstruction to public roadway!!! Not being smart, but I could also take your response as DN not being employed by bin company.

OP posts:
Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:38

We live detached so my baby annoys no one only us. Why should basketballs come into my garden and bang off windows and doors be ok when my baby is getting to sleep?

OP posts:
Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:39

But there are plenty of other amenities in the area and since they playing all day from 12 onwards, is it only fair to respect other neighbours?

OP posts:
CampRedLeaf · 12/09/2022 11:40

neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:37

Well i am under no obligation to allow a basketball to be played in a public space and could report it to the police as an obstruction to public roadway!!! Not being smart, but I could also take your response as DN not being employed by bin company.

My response was made as such because I used to have a neighbour who expected my DH to bring her bin in because he was employed as a driver for a private refuse collector. Apparently it was his job even though it wasn't.

Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:40

Why should I have to rejig my bedrooms to suit??!!!!! Like seriously. That would be like saying that I should move my bathroom to the garden if I wanted away from my family. Silly argument.

OP posts:
AvonCallingBarksdale · 12/09/2022 11:41

It’s not realistic to demand silence for your baby’s sleep time (I’m guessing it’s your first?) Also much better for your baby to adapt to sleeping in various different situations. You can’t be peeved that they no longer bring your bins in after your request for a very early Sshhh time 😂. As is often said on MN, if you want silence, live in the middle of nowhere (then you get other rural noises to contend with 🙄)

HappyHamsters · 12/09/2022 11:41

neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:37

Well i am under no obligation to allow a basketball to be played in a public space and could report it to the police as an obstruction to public roadway!!! Not being smart, but I could also take your response as DN not being employed by bin company.

Well report it then if you feel thats the solution. Dont you have a front garden. How do the balls bang off your doors and windows.

Brefugee · 12/09/2022 11:41

ah but they all rent and you own, so naturally you get to call all the shots.

OP. Get a grip. Your child is better off learning to sleep with a bit of noise anyway. And you are better off having a good relationship with your neighbours.

SpoonyMcFace · 12/09/2022 11:42

We live in a detached residence, all other neighbors are semi-d.

So......

Children are going to play outside after seven. That's normal behaviour and quite wholesome in my opinion.

It's not up to you to 'allow' the basketball hoop. Despite your detached house. If you formally complain then they will just bring it in and out rather than leave it there.

Why on earth did you buy a house in a cul-de-sac if you didn't want to be in a place where children played out.

Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:42

OK well thats different, I dont have any expectation of anyone to do anything for me, but I do wish for some respect from neighbors considering we are all living in a communal space to respect my baby's sleep.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 12/09/2022 11:43

and your child must be silent for evermore when outside to respect other people's babies sleeping?

Owlsinmybedroom · 12/09/2022 11:43

The basketball hoop isn't really the issue is it though. otherwise you would have asked them to stop with it altogether

The issue is you don't want children playing outside after 7pm and you feel they should go elsewhere, just to facilitate total silence for your babies sleep.

And quite frankly we have just been through a heatwave. Unless you have triple glazed windows that have been closed every night and some super sound proofing yes your babies crying will be heard by some of your neighbours.

YABU

AvonCallingBarksdale · 12/09/2022 11:44

“Respect my baby’s sleep” 😂😂. Oh, OP, you’re going to be in for a tricky ride going forward. Just bring it down a notch.

QuillBill · 12/09/2022 11:44

Respecting a baby's sleep is not a realistic objective. You need to move house to an area where families with young children are not going to be attracted to.

LongLivedQueen · 12/09/2022 11:45

neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:37

Well i am under no obligation to allow a basketball to be played in a public space and could report it to the police as an obstruction to public roadway!!! Not being smart, but I could also take your response as DN not being employed by bin company.

What makes you think its for you to allow or not allow kids to play? Who put you in charge?

Azerothi · 12/09/2022 11:46

All the other nonsense aside, why don't you want your child playing outside when she is old enough and past 7 pm?

Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:46

Right so I really find everyone's answers rather funny. You all think it is ok that kids can do what they want when they want and not respect any neighbors gardens/property/other people living in the area. So, it is all ok for the kids to do what they want (and their parents) but I am to just 'put up' with it. That's not very neighborly now is it. I am not going to be keeping my mouth shut if something is impacting my life and its also impacting other elderly neighbors. And the other neighbors also complained to the parents. three elderly ppl in the neighborhood have cancer and need to sleep (and NO they are not going to rejig their bedrooms to suit others).

OP posts:
Original poster
neighbourcrazy · 12/09/2022 11:47

What makes it ok for the parents to put an obstruction on a public road?

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 12/09/2022 11:48

Really your baby should be able to sleep through the noise! I think you are being a bit precious.
And are they obstructing the public way? Surely playing on in a cul de sac is one of the benefits of living in one. Just wait til your kid is older.

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