My neighbors...

[neighbourcrazy]

Hey all, am i being unreasonable? we live in a nice area, houses were not expensive, but that is to give context. We live in a detached residence, all other neighbors are semi-d.
So, not sure what is going on. One neighbour rents, others are owners. We got on reasonably well with all neighbors, we have a baby who is less than 2 years old.
During the summer, there was a basketball hoop placed outside on the public space, we live in a cul de sac, so it was in an awkward place but we let it go. However, the basketball was being played day and late into evening. My little girl needs to have her naps and I work from home. I asked the neighbors (the 2 different parents of the kids who were playing basketball (aged between 10-16)) could they ask kids to not play after 7 pm in evening due to sleep time for my baby. I am the only one with a baby. I was received with bitterness and intimidation by one set of parents, nothing said but extremely intimidating behaviour like staring in my window while walking past etc. I dont usually let things get to me as I do believe their behaviour is more about them than me. So I let it slide.
Now the other parents who obliged to the 7 pm cut off, have stopped bringing in my bins, they bring in all the other neighbors bins but leave ours outside, this has been a few weeks. Again, I don't really care but can someone explain to me what the heck is going on? Was I really being unreasonable asking for the noise to stop at 7pm? It was non stop all day which i didnt mind but night time for my baby is important. I'd like to hear opinions please.

Until someone invents a silent basketball, it should be illegal.

Hate that sound with a deep, deep passion.

If you've lived next door to a childminder with a basketball hoop in their garden, you'll know my pain.

YANBU.

why can't they go to a local park or playing field. Shouldn't have just put a sports item in a public area, don't they have their own gardens they can put it in.

No, you shouldn't have to put up with balls hitting against your property.

my son and friend occasionally put basketball hoop onto pavement. they'll play for a limited amount of time- maybe an hour, then stop.
must admit, i'm very aware of the neighbours and my son's noise when they do this- but i think it's reasonable for such a short amount of time. to that end i think your neighbours are being unreasonable if it goes on for hours- a thudding ball is pretty irritating.
so, YANBU in that respect.
However, as a separate issue, your expectation that people generally respect your baby's sleep times during the day are unreasonable- sorry!

is unreasonable

op - I've not read all the thread so you might have already done this.

Most councils have bylaws. We have one for a small bit of greenery at the top of our street with a sign that states no ball games. Either way, go check with council for no ball games and antisocial behaviour, there might be a time limit for noise at night too. Check with police regarding criminal damage to your car and windows.

It is different with every council so check with yours.

I think where you went wrong was telling them your baby is sleeping and to stop the noise/outdoor playing. The problem is surely more that the ball is hitting your car plus doors and windows and it therefore needs to be moved before damage is caused and parents end up with a big bill. Basketball his my car bonnet and cost over £500 as it needed replacing. If a neighbour's child had done this after I'd warned about the consequences and requested they play elsewhere/move the hoop, I'd be sending them the bill.

IMO you're only option is to go back, apologise and say sorry you went in a bit heavy-handed (blame a sleepless night or whatever) and say of course playing out at 7pm isn't an issue as whilst you're daughter is sleeping you are well aware most people aren't. You do need to explain very politely that the hoop however does need to be moved as it is repeatedly hitting your car & house, it's a miracle nothing has been damaged already and you'd really rather avoid another conversation about paying for damage.

You asked your neighbours to stop playing basketball at 7 but legally they aren’t doing anything wrong . They can play make noise etc right up to 11 if they wanted too and start making noise again at 7am . I can see your point tho about being considerate to your neighbours etc but you are being unreasonable. If you feel where the basketball hoop is , that is unsafe etc then report it but Il guarantee you , your have more problems than just not having your bins taken in .

I think that you went about it the wrong way. Your child's sleeping is not their concern and you aibu expecting them to respect that.

You would have been much better off asking them to move the ring away from your property as it is hitting your windows and car and you do not want to land the parents with a big bill if any damage was done.

Yeah, I am sure that would win you even more friends.

The police would be straight on it, assuming you live in Aidensfield and you're in an episode of Heartbeat?

Yes. In general I've found it's better to let the authorities deal with inconsiderate people.

Ring the Council OP and find out what can and can’t be done, legally speaking.
Morally speaking, it is really hard for older teens these days - not enough PE etc in school so parents tend to be thrilled when they do something wholesome and bonding like sports together (rather than screens, smoking and drinking). You will feel the same way when your DC is older.
Cul de sac mentality can be hard because there are certain expectations of being a community etc - sounds like it isn’t quite your thing? They might also be ganging up on you being in the biggest house?

Crikey - you sound like a lovely neighbour - 😳🙄

Well this is just silly.

I get basketballs are noisy. But 7pm is really early and in an area with children they will be playing in the street at 7pm.

some day it will be your kids!

you should have left it. Darker colder nights are coming which would have sorted the problem.

the World can’t go quiet at 7pm because you have a baby

Honestly you just have to get used to it, my eldest was woken every Thursday when we did the clap for the NHS because a kid on my street used an air horn. I didnt complain just accepted it for what it was. As the nights draw in surely they will be finishing earlier and earlier

Very big drip feed........

Wow this thread just keeps growing in the telling until you can get people to agree with you, doesn't it?
Whatever next? They're also being mean to puppies? One of them is climbing over your wall to use your patio furniture? I know, they're parking in your driveway!
C'mon OP, we need a diagram of the road obstruction that was first in a public space and now an obstruction on a road, and a full explanation of how the bin men and people with jobs have been getting past this obstruction.
Also if you're intimidated by someone staring in through your window, how come you neglected to tell us that your house is being pelted day and night by balls? Because THAT would feel a lot more intimidating.
Which is it? Because I don't know what to believe from this scramble except that you've been extremely rude to anyone who disagrees with you which suggests YABU.

This.

The baby issue could be easily solved with white noise. The potential for damage (if as stated) is the real issue.

That would annoy me too. For those saying it's a PFB issue, some children are very light sleepers, regardless of how much noise they've 'gotten used to'. Other children go back to sleep easily by themselves if they're woken up - just think yourself lucky if you have one of those.

That said, I would just get a white noise machine to drown out the outside noise.

OP, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. This isn't an occasional thing, its everyday and I can see how it would be frustrating HOWEVER I always tread lightly when it comes to things that I can potentially find a solution for as it relates to neighbours because having a neighbour turn sour on you is the worst thing that could ever happen. I hope you guys can sort it out x

I'm firmly on your side with this, OP. We're not long out of the baby stage with DS and the idea of his sleep being disturbed every night would have been enough to tip me over the edge!

I don't think you've done anything wrong in requesting that the noise is kept to a minimum, but if you have neighbours who are not prepared to apply consideration to your circumstances, there's little you can do, unfortunately.

Let me understand this correctly - during the school summer holidays a children's basketball hoop was located outside on a public space where the children could play and you wanted to introduce a curfew so that just your child could get to sleep? Did I get that right @neighbourcrazy ??
Then you're complaining that they are no longer taking your bin in? About this part, did you ever take their bin in?

Going back to read the rest of the thread now but I just needed to get a better understanding of the whole situation.

Blimey, this is an odd thread. 'I'd like to hear opinions please.' 'NO! NOT THAT ONE!' <flounces>

The police!

I saw a man breaking into and then stealing my next door neighbour's Porsche on the drive in broad daylight and the police didn't come out for that. Just told me to tell the neighbour to ring for a crime number.

It's dark before 8.00pm now & by the end of the month will be by 7.00pm. The weather will be changing & there will be less days when it is fine enough for the kids to be playing out at night.

I could of been you writing this so i know what you are dealing with. But I never approached the neighbour about it for the reason being - I wouldnt want to be told myself if my kids love playing basketballs. I think its great kids are active than sitting indoors gaming all day for eg.
i think rejig the bedroom in the house is a bit much, but i can strongly suggest you to use a white noise machine, your baby will sleep much better and it also help to block our the noise. Works wonder for us!