My neighbors...

[neighbourcrazy]

Hey all, am i being unreasonable? we live in a nice area, houses were not expensive, but that is to give context. We live in a detached residence, all other neighbors are semi-d.
So, not sure what is going on. One neighbour rents, others are owners. We got on reasonably well with all neighbors, we have a baby who is less than 2 years old.
During the summer, there was a basketball hoop placed outside on the public space, we live in a cul de sac, so it was in an awkward place but we let it go. However, the basketball was being played day and late into evening. My little girl needs to have her naps and I work from home. I asked the neighbors (the 2 different parents of the kids who were playing basketball (aged between 10-16)) could they ask kids to not play after 7 pm in evening due to sleep time for my baby. I am the only one with a baby. I was received with bitterness and intimidation by one set of parents, nothing said but extremely intimidating behaviour like staring in my window while walking past etc. I dont usually let things get to me as I do believe their behaviour is more about them than me. So I let it slide.
Now the other parents who obliged to the 7 pm cut off, have stopped bringing in my bins, they bring in all the other neighbors bins but leave ours outside, this has been a few weeks. Again, I don't really care but can someone explain to me what the heck is going on? Was I really being unreasonable asking for the noise to stop at 7pm? It was non stop all day which i didnt mind but night time for my baby is important. I'd like to hear opinions please.

OP, I'm totally with you. Basketball bouncing and getting in the loop is extremely nerve jerking and unpleasant and it's more than fair enough to expect it to stop at 7pm especially when it's been going for hours.

Of course, if a poster complained that someone had installed wind chimes in their garden that makes a dreadful sound and woke them up at 6 am, they would be told that the neighbour was unreasonable, but expecting a young child to be able to get to sleep at a reasonable time, that's terrible.

What is it with this new generation who delight themselves in constant noise and expect everyone else around to enjoy their racket as much as they do?

Think it would be useful to know exactly where the hoop is positioned - is it fixed to a wall, or is it free-standing in the street? How close to your house? Who put it there??? Also, how often are balls coming into your garden and damaging your property.

May I tactfully suggest a, ahem, diagram?

This is brilliant 🤩
OP - AIBU?
MN - YABU
OP - What’s Wrong with you all? Clearly IANBU
OP - Drip feed galore

Don't believe this story is true. You keep adding in parts of the story to try to get people to agree with you and its not working.

YABU to expect other people's children to change their lives around to fit your baby's sleep schedule.

YAalsoBU to get super defensive and start a dripfeed of "They hit our house, they set our car alarm off" when your first post was just about play noise and bins.

You've upset your neighbours. Life in a cul de sac can be awkward if you're arguing with your neighbours. I'd have a good long think about how you want this to go, OP.

Sigh...... another AIBU and when the majority say yes the OP says no I'm not. Don't bother asking! It's not an echo chamber that you only get answers that you want.

Yes, you are being unreasonable. What will happen when your child wants to be out at 9am to play in the garden but the teens want to sleep in and they complain that you are disturbing their sleep? It works all ways. I would say after 10pm fair game, but not at 7pm. These kids could be doing a lot worse! Then you would have something to complain about.

Why should your neighbours have to re jig their play time to suit you? Could go on and on....

I do think it's unreasonable to ask people to stop playing at 7pm. You having a baby is not everyone else's issue. My baby goes to bed at 6.30/7 - there is often outside noise after this time. Tough, that's life and my baby learnt to sleep through it. Often my NDN mows their lawn at nap time - again tough - baby will have to sleep through it because can't expect other people to run their schedules around my baby's sleep time. If the ball is banging on your doors and windows then mention this, but you omitted this from your OP and made it sound like it was just the kids playing that was the issue. Also, I think going to extreme of reporting a basketball hoop to the police would likely make NDN even more hostile towards you.

OP I haven’t read the whole thread judging by your comments it’s not going I’m your favour. So often on MN nowadays people jump on to a thread just to berate the OP without really thinking it through.

Annoying as it is, I don’t think you can really complain about the noise as it is a public place however if is totally unacceptable for the ball to be regularly hitting your house or car so on that basis they do need to move the hoop further away from your house.

Is the space owned by the residents or owned by the council? If it’s the latter I’d have a word with them, don’t engage with the neighbours anymore. They’re not worth it.

Its horrible when neighbours get like this. Very uncivilised on their part too.

Also OP please can we have a diagram?

You didn't ask the right question OP.

AIBU to ask kids to stop playing basketball at 7pm
Answer: Yes. YABU

AIBU to ask families to arrange hoop so ball isn't hitting my door
Answer: No. YANBU

Not sure how much the ball is actually hitting the house/car - seems like a drip feed because you weren't getting the replies you wanted. If it really is, then explain with some humour and grace that it isn't the playing that is bothering you, it's the banging against door/window. People will be more receptive if you sound reasonable.

If it's actually not hitting your door regularly - or it happened just once or twice - but you've added that to garner sympathetic responses, then you are being completely unrealistic, miserable and showing no community spirit.

Only you know the truth of the level of invasion/noise. Work it out for yourself.

The original post I posted was posted too quick without the other details, I clicked post in error and since a new joiner, i thought i could edit but seems to be not the case. I am not doing post drips to get ppl to agree with me, if I wanted ppl to agree with me, I wouldn't have posted and would have just said I am right and that is it. I just wanted to learn about myself and perhaps if I made a mistake and I can see that perhaps I was not clear with my neighbors on the property damage or the positioning of the hoop. I am willing to admit it and learn from my mistakes. I am trying to give context to the situation.
Thanks for all your input / opinions / comments .. some not very nice, but thankfully I am strong enough to not let them get to me. I will be removing my account, because in this day and age, I'd still rather be kind but kindness needs to be reciprocated and I am not going to be disrespected by neighbors or anyone on this page. Your choice and your opinions but I also have my choices and my opinions. All the best.

I would not be happy with them playing there any time of day if the ball was continually hitting my windows/car so it’s not unreasonable to be annoyed at that and would be having something to say but as far as your baby sleeping is concerned yabu.

We all live in detached houses in a cul de sac, my neighbours have evening bbqs with friends with children, my other neighbours have a baby that sometimes cries, we have a dog that sometimes woofs and everyone seems to do diy. It’s the price of having neighbours. Everyone settles down around 10pm and everyone muddles along.

To be honest the thud, thud, thud of a basketball would drive me crazy, which is why I never got my children a basketball net - if they want to play basketball I'll take them to the park.

Hitting windows, doors and cars would have me outside telling them to stop. We are the only family with teenagers in our cul-de-sac and I ensure they are respectful to neighbours - not too early, not too late and not too loud. If I was aware that a neighbour had a young child I would be more be more forceful with them - but then I am not very tolerant of noise.

Basketball noise is extremely loud and intrusive, I can imagine echoes all over the cul-de-sac. Sports should be played on special grounds, but some people just don't care about others.

Don't be daft OP.
You asked a question and you got an answer.
You added more information and got different answers. That's how conversations work.

are you going to have a conversation with your neighbours about the balls hitting your car/door/windows or are you just going to go off in a huff because people told you what they think?

To be fair, if someone put a basket ball hoop up outside my house I’d be pissed off. It’s an annoying noise. I have 6 kids, 3 of which play outside after 7pm, I also have a baby that goes to bed at 7… I get both sides here… I would be trying to get the basket ball removed to be honest, it’s a bit like neighbours who put wind chimes up in their gardens… yeah you like it great, buts it’s a bloody nuisance to others. But of course you can’t expect quiet around your babies sleep times… it’s just not realistic.

I haven't read all the responses, but I acquiesced to neighbours like you and stopped my kids from playing basketball after 6pm because it apparently disturbed their small childrens' sleep, and I don't have all that many regrets in my life, but that's one of them. I really wish I had politely told them to go fuck themselves.

My kids were in the age range you're talking about and had long and stressful school days, 11+, GCSEs and clubs and activities and when the days lengthened, they very much needed the opportunity to blow off some steam and relax after getting home, and that was one of the ways they liked to do so. And just maybe that's as legitimate a need as yours?

I think you're being ridiculous. Get a white noise machine, move your baby's room or move yourself to somewhere more isolated.

Well surely it’s not going in from 12 every day of the week now the schools are back for a start.

im very unclear why you aren’t worried about damage between the imaginary 12 start and 7pm as well to be honest.

Be careful, before you know it your kids will be wanting to play out too.

OP you sound like a treat.

I’ve read all your posts OP.

YABU because of your dreadful attitude.

It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it. I can imagine your neighbours feeling the same. I assume there’s lots of detail you’ve missed out also.

Exactly this.

Baseball hoop shouldn't be on communal space. If kids want to play should be in parents garden (but guessing parents don't want the noise interrupting them). Op I would be more concerned about damage to your property (car, house, garden) than interrupting your baby's sleep.I would report but make it clear it is because of potential damage to your property

Then You are an unreasonable neighbour. You would stick a hoop in the public area and then Bounce a freaking ball over and over all day and into the night and you think that's ok?

OP you did come on here to ask if your request was unreasonable… you have had your answer and therefore the mystery of why your neighbours have stopped taking in your bins is solved. I’m not sure what you gain by arguing with everyone? Them staring into your windows and intimidating you is 100% not on though and I’m really sorry about that!

I guess I'm a bit confused as to how they're hitting your car, windows and doors? Basketballs bounce on a hard surface when you keep applying force to them. When that stops, they just do a few small bounces and then roll. They don't have unlimited trajectory and they're not kicked into the air like soccer balls. So unless your house frontage is literally on the street, and they're missing their shots with the force of an NBA pro, I'm calling some serious exaggeration here.