Should I be worried about this neighbour?

[gonewithtthewind]

Posting in this section as I wasn't sure where to post!

I dunno if I'm just being silly, pregnancy hormones could be playing a part in my worry!

I live in a cul de sac - the house which is opposite me to the right has an old man who lives there, I think he lives on his own but I'm honestly not sure. I've never spoken to him, a lot of my neighbours are older so they all do seem to talk to each other so I've kind of told myself if they aren't worried then I shouldn't be but I'm not sure?

Basically he always opens his blinds early in the morning, around 7am and doesn't shut them until really late. He also obviously has lights on at night time. He does have nurses go in sometimes but I'm honestly not sure how often that is. This sounds like I've been stalking him I know but you just pick up on these things, especially since I'm home all the time now!

The past 3 days he hasn't opened his blinds once, no windows have been opened, he hasn't been out to mow the grass (which he does multiple times a week) and no lights have been on. His security alarm is still flashing from 3 days ago when we had a power cut! I don't know if I'm just overthinking this? Like he could have gone on holiday? I don't know but he doesn't seem to have any family it seems and his car is still outside. I keep worrying something has happened to him! I think I'm going to go and ask the neighbours today when they're out because they do talk so surely theyd know if he's just on holiday or if we should be worried about him? I feel so silly and my partner has told me I'm overthinking it! Does anyone know if there is anything else I should or could do? Should I even be worried or am I just being silly?

So sorry to hear the update . You showed care and concern and because of you he was found sooner rather than later . Sending love

I love neighbours like you OP. It was because of a neighbour like you we found out my grandad had fell and had been lying on the floor all day and had to go to hospital . I’m sad that the outcome wasn’t good here but it’s good that someone was looking out for this man .

That’s so sad!

There’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty!

You reported him which was the right thing to do.

He had regular nurses so it isn’t like he was someone who had no help at all.

No need to feel guilty.

You couldn't have prevented his death.

But you have prevented him laying their alone for longer.

I'm sorry to see the update but it was so kind of you to check. We had a very sad case in Ireland where a man was found months after he had died because someone alerted Gardaí when they noticed his Christmas tree was still lighting in March. Years later it still makes me so sad. His tree could be seen from the street and it still took months for anyone to check up on him.

I’m sorry to hear your sad update, but you arranged for him to be checked on and his family won’t have to deal with him lying there longer,

Sorry to read your update, you've been a good neighbour though noticing something wasn't right and raising the alarm. I think it's one of the saddest things when an old person dies and no one misses them, so they aren't found for a long period. You were looking out for them though, good for you.

I'm so sorry, what a shock for you. You did the right thing in taking action so early.

You are an amazing neighbour, well done you for noticing his little routine wasn't as normal. Yes, he has passed away, and while it is very sad, it's not as sad as his lying there for 2 years rotting away. Please never change and don't doubt your instincts as they were spot on this time, hugs and flowers to you for being a nice person

Op, that’s a sad update, but please don’t feel guilty, it’s very unlikely that you could have changed the outcome.

What is important is that you saw a change in habits and this caused you concern and you acted on this - that’s what a decent neighbour should do 💐

Many, many years ago my grandfather died in his sleep. He was discovered when his neighbours saw that he hadn’t opened his blinds; he was a creature of habit. It’s stuck with me and I do keep a discreet eye out for those around us.

You must be a bit shaken up.

Bless you for noticing and looking out for him.

Bless you, OP, I'm so sorry for the outcome. Very glad you checked on him. Xx

Rem that poor woman who died in her flat a few months ago, the papers and mail piled up and the neighbors, her work colleagues, no one checked to see was she ok. Go see is he ok, of course or mention your concerns to the police.

mamamomojojo

You're a bit late, the OP did that and the police found him dead.

I'm sorry it's taken so long to update you all - I really wish I was bringing you good news but it seems he passed away whilst watching tv at some point. I couldn't hear the tv on when I went round, I've been really sad all day and just feel so guilty that I didn't do something sooner! It's devastating

That's very sad. You did the correct and kind thing.

So sorry to hear that OP 💐

So sorry to hear this op. I saw this earlier & was hoping he was just in hospital or stopping with a relative. At least he had you watching out for him, you couldn’t have done more.💐

A few months is pretty good going...

southwarknews.co.uk/featured/peabody-apologises-for-not-realising-tenant-was-dead-in-her-flat-for-two-years/#:~:text=Housing%20Association%20Peabody%20has%20officially,%2C%20Nunhead%2C%20in%20February%202022.

In your shoes OP, I would have assumed that other neighbours and social services knew him far better than me. You did well. I only discovered my neighbour so quickly because we were friends, so I understood her habits.

@gonewithtthewind you have really done such a lovely thing. Even if you had been sitting in the room with him when it happened it probably wouldn’t have made any difference so there’s nothing you could have done to change the outcome and you’ll have given his family some closure. They would also not have heard from him and not acted.
be nice to yourself, you really are great

Oh OP, how sad. You and the neighbours were so thoughtful, it’s so difficult to know what to do for the best. It’s good to know in this often hurried world someone picked up on this and noticed when his routine stopped. Hope you’re ok and someone is on hand to support

Oh am so sorry Op, you acted a lot sooner than some would have done, so don’t beat yourself up!

You mentioned not hearing the Tv when you went over, it’s possible that when the power went out and the tv came back on, it went back into standby mode when it detected no activity. It’s a power saving feature.

We had similar happen a few years ago and my NDN (who had a spare key) went in to check after a day of curtains being closed. Elderly neighbour had died in front of tv with a glass of whisky beside her. Although it was sad, I thought well that's how I would like to go

In one post the OP says they only went in once or twice a week at most, so they may not have been due.

Oh OP, that is sad news. Please just remember that if you hadn't said anything then he may have been sat there for days longer.

You did a really good thing OP.