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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I be worried about this neighbour?

229 replies

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 07:58

Posting in this section as I wasn't sure where to post!

I dunno if I'm just being silly, pregnancy hormones could be playing a part in my worry!

I live in a cul de sac - the house which is opposite me to the right has an old man who lives there, I think he lives on his own but I'm honestly not sure. I've never spoken to him, a lot of my neighbours are older so they all do seem to talk to each other so I've kind of told myself if they aren't worried then I shouldn't be but I'm not sure?

Basically he always opens his blinds early in the morning, around 7am and doesn't shut them until really late. He also obviously has lights on at night time. He does have nurses go in sometimes but I'm honestly not sure how often that is. This sounds like I've been stalking him I know but you just pick up on these things, especially since I'm home all the time now!

The past 3 days he hasn't opened his blinds once, no windows have been opened, he hasn't been out to mow the grass (which he does multiple times a week) and no lights have been on. His security alarm is still flashing from 3 days ago when we had a power cut! I don't know if I'm just overthinking this? Like he could have gone on holiday? I don't know but he doesn't seem to have any family it seems and his car is still outside. I keep worrying something has happened to him! I think I'm going to go and ask the neighbours today when they're out because they do talk so surely theyd know if he's just on holiday or if we should be worried about him? I feel so silly and my partner has told me I'm overthinking it! Does anyone know if there is anything else I should or could do? Should I even be worried or am I just being silly?

OP posts:
ICanHideButICantRun · 11/09/2022 13:33

It's terrifying, the thought of being on your own and knowing you were in trouble. My mum fell and if she hadn't had an alert round her neck nobody would have known.

user1498572889 · 11/09/2022 13:35

You did the right thing op. 🤞 everything is ok.

Beepbeepenergy · 11/09/2022 13:36

Oh no! Have the police been yet ? @gonewithtthewind x

Iamacatslave · 11/09/2022 13:38

You’ve done the right thing. Please keep us updated.

Ihatethenewlook · 11/09/2022 13:41

Following for updates. Fingers crossed he’s ok

CactusBlossom · 11/09/2022 13:51

Definitely check on him. It wouldn't hurt to knock on his door. Better to act out of concern than find out later something had gone wrong but nobody did anything.

CactusBlossom · 11/09/2022 13:53

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 10:57

Spoke to the neighbours and they were also worried, tried to knock but no answer and tried to look through windows but can't see anything due to the blinds! Tried to get around the back but the gate had a lock on it so couldn't! Just waiting on the police to do a welfare check, really worried about him now and glad I didn't leave it 🙁 there was post all in the letter box and on the floor too.

Definitely the right thing to do. I had a neighbour check on me because I'd left a light on (I was fine, had just forgotten it). Another time, a friend came round because I hadn't replied to messages; that time I was seriously ill.

WilsonMilson · 11/09/2022 13:56

Oh dear, that doesn’t sound good at all. You’re a lovely person for checking, and you’ve absolutely done the right thing. Do keep us updated, let’s hope he might just be away somewhere.

Noteverybodylives · 11/09/2022 14:06

I’m glad you’ve phoned the police OP.

Hopefully he’s just gone on holiday or something. But it doesn’t look good.

Derbee · 11/09/2022 14:09

You sound like a kind and caring neighbour. With everything you’ve described, I can’t believe anyone thinks it’s overreacting or overthinking to have checked on him.

Sadly, I suspect we know what’s happened. Hope he’s ok though

Ihatecocomelon · 11/09/2022 14:15

Fingers crossed he's OK.

Jaxinthebox · 11/09/2022 14:15

I am glad you went to check. Think police need involved though. :(

Booklover3 · 11/09/2022 14:16

I also hope he is okay

Macaroni1924 · 11/09/2022 14:22

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 10:57

Spoke to the neighbours and they were also worried, tried to knock but no answer and tried to look through windows but can't see anything due to the blinds! Tried to get around the back but the gate had a lock on it so couldn't! Just waiting on the police to do a welfare check, really worried about him now and glad I didn't leave it 🙁 there was post all in the letter box and on the floor too.

oh no, the post is not a good sign. Mind you I was thinking maybe he’s in hospital or something like that. I’m so glad you have looked out for him would like to think my parents neighbours would do the same, mind you not a day I don’t see them or talk to them! Hopefully the police will check and he’s possibly been admitted to hospital and not the worst case scenario.

SurpriseSurprise · 11/09/2022 14:22

Hope he’s ok

moistmingemist · 11/09/2022 14:23

Please update us. I've been thinking about him all morning

OhFatty · 11/09/2022 14:23

I’m so glad you didn’t leave it. I hope he’s ok

Ginandcrispsarebliss · 11/09/2022 14:30

Hi OP, please check on your neighbour. This happened to my MIL when we were on Holiday. I arranged carers to see her for her early evening meal and while away, we called every morning but she wasn't answering her phone. We were worried so called our friend/neighbour who popped round with the spare key and found my MIL on the floor. She had fallen and broke her hip. Happened after the carers left in the evening and she was finally found at 11am the following morning. Will always be so thankful to out neighbours who then rallied around to help. Ambulance arrived and was in hospital for a little while. She is on the mend and doing well but has moved in with us from now on. We came home early from our break. Felt awful we weren't there to help as we live next door to each other and will pop in everyday to see she is ok.

bringbackveronicamars · 11/09/2022 14:37

Calling the police for a welfare check was the right thing to do. I hope he's ok.

mnahmnah · 11/09/2022 14:38

You absolutely did right. Well done! I’m amazed that the other neighbours who know him better, hadn’t done anything in three days!

My mum lives alone, three hours from me. But I know she’s got amazing neighbours who would absolutely do something of anything was amiss

rainbowstardrops · 11/09/2022 14:38

Aww, hope he's ok

Mummysharkargggggggg · 11/09/2022 14:40

My elderly mum lives alone and I've had one of her neighbours knocking at my door to say they were worried,turned out she had fallen and needed medical help,I've never been so grateful to that neighbour x

ShedHead7 · 11/09/2022 14:41

Yes, definitely check. My dads neighbour noticed he hadn't put his bin out (which he always religiously did), so went round to check and my dad had sadly passed away in his sleep.
Hope the old chap is ok, but it's not looking great tbf.

CymruChris · 11/09/2022 14:42

I've been thinking about this all day 🥺
I think you've done the right thing ringing the police, regardless of whats happened I think its fantastic that you're looking out for him x

MarsupiIami · 11/09/2022 14:54

It's been on my mind too. Hope he's OK.

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