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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I be worried about this neighbour?

229 replies

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 07:58

Posting in this section as I wasn't sure where to post!

I dunno if I'm just being silly, pregnancy hormones could be playing a part in my worry!

I live in a cul de sac - the house which is opposite me to the right has an old man who lives there, I think he lives on his own but I'm honestly not sure. I've never spoken to him, a lot of my neighbours are older so they all do seem to talk to each other so I've kind of told myself if they aren't worried then I shouldn't be but I'm not sure?

Basically he always opens his blinds early in the morning, around 7am and doesn't shut them until really late. He also obviously has lights on at night time. He does have nurses go in sometimes but I'm honestly not sure how often that is. This sounds like I've been stalking him I know but you just pick up on these things, especially since I'm home all the time now!

The past 3 days he hasn't opened his blinds once, no windows have been opened, he hasn't been out to mow the grass (which he does multiple times a week) and no lights have been on. His security alarm is still flashing from 3 days ago when we had a power cut! I don't know if I'm just overthinking this? Like he could have gone on holiday? I don't know but he doesn't seem to have any family it seems and his car is still outside. I keep worrying something has happened to him! I think I'm going to go and ask the neighbours today when they're out because they do talk so surely theyd know if he's just on holiday or if we should be worried about him? I feel so silly and my partner has told me I'm overthinking it! Does anyone know if there is anything else I should or could do? Should I even be worried or am I just being silly?

OP posts:
Greyarea12 · 11/09/2022 15:25

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 10:57

Spoke to the neighbours and they were also worried, tried to knock but no answer and tried to look through windows but can't see anything due to the blinds! Tried to get around the back but the gate had a lock on it so couldn't! Just waiting on the police to do a welfare check, really worried about him now and glad I didn't leave it 🙁 there was post all in the letter box and on the floor too.

Oh no.. this made my stomach flip. I think you have done the right thing. I hope he is OK.

SandieCollins · 11/09/2022 15:29

hope everything is ok

Isitdone · 11/09/2022 15:35

Any news OP? Hoping your neighbours ok and on a seaside jolly somewhere

Dipsydoodlenoodle · 11/09/2022 15:35

I see you've checked on him now, but I'm glad you did. I hope the police check was OK and he's just having a few days away.

It's nice to know people watch out for others still.

twoandcooplease · 11/09/2022 16:00

Can you update us op? I hope he is okay

My elderly gran stays in a culdesac with a lot of other elderly people and they watch out for each other's blinds every day. I think he would be happy you checked

BlodynGwyn · 11/09/2022 16:12

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 08:10

My partner said maybe he's keeping them closed for mourning the Queen but I've never heard of that before!

When someone died on our street all the neighbors would close their curtains out of respect. Back in those days they would bring the coffin into the house. My grandmother lived on our street and when she died in the 1950's they brought her coffin into the front parlor and there's where it stayed for a while. I was really upset by this as the lid was off.

rnsaslkih · 11/09/2022 16:24

He might be in hospital

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 16:42

I'm sorry it's taken so long to update you all - I really wish I was bringing you good news but it seems he passed away whilst watching tv at some point. I couldn't hear the tv on when I went round, I've been really sad all day and just feel so guilty that I didn't do something sooner! It's devastating

OP posts:
CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 11/09/2022 16:44

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 16:42

I'm sorry it's taken so long to update you all - I really wish I was bringing you good news but it seems he passed away whilst watching tv at some point. I couldn't hear the tv on when I went round, I've been really sad all day and just feel so guilty that I didn't do something sooner! It's devastating

Whatever you could have done it wouldn't change what happened. Take care Flowers

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 11/09/2022 16:44

😓

Eyesopenwideawake · 11/09/2022 16:44

That's really sad, but it's a good way to go - in your own home and hopefully without pain.

Bonjovispjs · 11/09/2022 16:44

Oh that's so sad, poor guy.

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 11/09/2022 16:46

Oh that’s a sad update. A reminder to us all that it’s not just being nosey to notice a pattern across neighbours. I think many would want a neighbour like you to keep an eye on their relatives or friends. You did the right thing OP💐

manybirdsnests · 11/09/2022 16:46

I'm so sorry. It's lovely that you were concerned and you did what you did. Please don't feel bad - you were looking out for him!
Be kind to yourself the next few days - you've had a shock.

flapjackfairy · 11/09/2022 16:46

oh bless you there is nothing you could have done. take care x

LIZS · 11/09/2022 16:47

Sad very sad ending but you did a good thing raising the alert

Ihatecocomelon · 11/09/2022 16:47

People need more neighbours like you op.
Rest in peace to your neighbours soul.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 11/09/2022 16:50

Im so sorry OP but you cared enough to do something. That means a great deal. You couldn’t have changed anything but at least it means he was found & not left there for days or weeks x

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 11/09/2022 16:50

You've been a good neighbour today OP and done the right thing. Take care.

Matchofthedayrubbish · 11/09/2022 16:50

Sorry to hear this news but it sounds like he probably went very fast and hopefully very peacefully. You’ve done the right thing, and at least any family can be notified now. Sympathies to you as although you didn’t know him well I’m sure you’ll be shocked.

twoandcooplease · 11/09/2022 16:52

I'm so sorry op xx

Superbabe64 · 11/09/2022 16:52

Awh bless you. You've been a good neighbour and did the right thing. Sounds like he had a peaceful death. XX

sweeneytoddsrazor · 11/09/2022 16:54

You couldn't have changed the outcome, but at least you were looking out noticed and acted.

So much nicer for him and you that he wasn't left for weeks before he was found. You did a good thing we should be looking out for each other.

Sprig1 · 11/09/2022 16:54

What a shock, I hope you are OK. Well done for being a good neighbour.

MarsupiIami · 11/09/2022 16:56

You’re a great neighbour OP Flowers

Hope you’re ok.