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AIBU?

Should I be worried about this neighbour?

229 replies

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 07:58

Posting in this section as I wasn't sure where to post!

I dunno if I'm just being silly, pregnancy hormones could be playing a part in my worry!

I live in a cul de sac - the house which is opposite me to the right has an old man who lives there, I think he lives on his own but I'm honestly not sure. I've never spoken to him, a lot of my neighbours are older so they all do seem to talk to each other so I've kind of told myself if they aren't worried then I shouldn't be but I'm not sure?

Basically he always opens his blinds early in the morning, around 7am and doesn't shut them until really late. He also obviously has lights on at night time. He does have nurses go in sometimes but I'm honestly not sure how often that is. This sounds like I've been stalking him I know but you just pick up on these things, especially since I'm home all the time now!

The past 3 days he hasn't opened his blinds once, no windows have been opened, he hasn't been out to mow the grass (which he does multiple times a week) and no lights have been on. His security alarm is still flashing from 3 days ago when we had a power cut! I don't know if I'm just overthinking this? Like he could have gone on holiday? I don't know but he doesn't seem to have any family it seems and his car is still outside. I keep worrying something has happened to him! I think I'm going to go and ask the neighbours today when they're out because they do talk so surely theyd know if he's just on holiday or if we should be worried about him? I feel so silly and my partner has told me I'm overthinking it! Does anyone know if there is anything else I should or could do? Should I even be worried or am I just being silly?

OP posts:
FlowersFlowersEverywhere · 11/09/2022 08:01

No, you’re not being silly. You’ve noticed a pattern and he needs checking on asap.

Questionaboutjoboffer · 11/09/2022 08:01

I don’t think you’re overthinking things. Have you knocked on his door? I would definitely speak to the neighbours.

Rapidtango · 11/09/2022 08:01

Good idea to ask neighbours, but if he usually has carers in, they'd probably raise the alarm if he wasn't answering the door.

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 11/09/2022 08:01

I would definitely go and speak to the other neighbours about this. That sounds really worrying actually.

Glamorgans · 11/09/2022 08:02

I'd be very worried! Can you go and knock on his door?

Willbe2under2 · 11/09/2022 08:02

You're probably over thinking and being silly BUT I think your suggestion of speaking to the neighbours is a good one. Just tell them what you've said here and hope they tell you he's sunning himself somewhere hot 😊

MaggieFS · 11/09/2022 08:03

Not being silly. If he's been so set in his routine, then it's kind to check.

JoeyThePrawn · 11/09/2022 08:04

I'd be worried too , good that he's got you for a neighbour
No harm done if he's OK

Poppyblush · 11/09/2022 08:04

Pop across and check!

Firstawake · 11/09/2022 08:04

You are not being silly, ask a neighbour if they know anything or ask the police to do a welfare check. Easy.

DDivaStar · 11/09/2022 08:05

There are many reasons he's not there, visiting family, in hospital etc but your concern is understandable.

Definitely check with the neighbours to see if they've seen him recently.

Codingand36 · 11/09/2022 08:06

Maybe someone passed away (other than the Queen) as they used to keep curtains shut for mourning. I remember my elderly neighbour doing the same

Or he might be on holiday! Go and check

I recently checked to see if my neighbour/friend was OK as her car was parked oddly and she was quiet. Windows closed on a hot day etc....Turned out she was seriously ill and needed hospital. She almost died.

If you know something is off then check. Intuition is there for a reason x

PAFMO · 11/09/2022 08:09

You're being a good neighbour for noticing.
Not over-reacting at all.

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 08:10

Codingand36 · 11/09/2022 08:06

Maybe someone passed away (other than the Queen) as they used to keep curtains shut for mourning. I remember my elderly neighbour doing the same

Or he might be on holiday! Go and check

I recently checked to see if my neighbour/friend was OK as her car was parked oddly and she was quiet. Windows closed on a hot day etc....Turned out she was seriously ill and needed hospital. She almost died.

If you know something is off then check. Intuition is there for a reason x

My partner said maybe he's keeping them closed for mourning the Queen but I've never heard of that before!

OP posts:
Darkness22 · 11/09/2022 08:13

You could just knock on his door or neighbours as you noticed his alarm is still flashing.

Tabasco007 · 11/09/2022 08:14

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 07:58

Posting in this section as I wasn't sure where to post!

I dunno if I'm just being silly, pregnancy hormones could be playing a part in my worry!

I live in a cul de sac - the house which is opposite me to the right has an old man who lives there, I think he lives on his own but I'm honestly not sure. I've never spoken to him, a lot of my neighbours are older so they all do seem to talk to each other so I've kind of told myself if they aren't worried then I shouldn't be but I'm not sure?

Basically he always opens his blinds early in the morning, around 7am and doesn't shut them until really late. He also obviously has lights on at night time. He does have nurses go in sometimes but I'm honestly not sure how often that is. This sounds like I've been stalking him I know but you just pick up on these things, especially since I'm home all the time now!

The past 3 days he hasn't opened his blinds once, no windows have been opened, he hasn't been out to mow the grass (which he does multiple times a week) and no lights have been on. His security alarm is still flashing from 3 days ago when we had a power cut! I don't know if I'm just overthinking this? Like he could have gone on holiday? I don't know but he doesn't seem to have any family it seems and his car is still outside. I keep worrying something has happened to him! I think I'm going to go and ask the neighbours today when they're out because they do talk so surely theyd know if he's just on holiday or if we should be worried about him? I feel so silly and my partner has told me I'm overthinking it! Does anyone know if there is anything else I should or could do? Should I even be worried or am I just being silly?

Sorry, but why are you posting this here. The obvious thing to do is just to go and check, knock on his door to ask if he is ok, if he doesn't answer then knock on the neighbors doors. Don't wait till you happen to see them. Sorry
, but sometimes I think it's so weird some of the things people post. His pattern of behavior has changed, your concerned, go check.

Sunnyqueen · 11/09/2022 08:14

I would ask the neighbours. If he has nurses popping in and out every day they would have raised the alarm...my first guess would be he is probably in hospital.

Beautifulsunflowers · 11/09/2022 08:14

As pp have said it will be a good idea to check with other neighbours or maybe knock and see if he’s ok? It certainly won’t hurt and always nice to show you care.

Codingand36 · 11/09/2022 08:15

I agree with him! It's very common amongst the older generation @gonewithtthewind x

gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 08:18

@Tabasco007
I don't want to disturb him if I'm just being silly and overthinking! I've already said I'm going to ask the neighbours today. People have told me I'm overthinking it hence why I asked, he has no clue who I am I didn't wanna knock on and seem like I'm stalking the poor guy if I'm worrying about nothing. There is no need to be rude

OP posts:
gonewithtthewind · 11/09/2022 08:19

Codingand36 · 11/09/2022 08:15

I agree with him! It's very common amongst the older generation @gonewithtthewind x

Oh I had no clue that was a thing. I guess that's a likely possibility then, I'll check with the neighbours today just incase and see, I'm not sure if any of the other neighbours are doing the same I should check

OP posts:
thirstyformore · 11/09/2022 08:20

Go and check. A few years ago one of our neighbours died and was undiscovered for a few weeks (in the height of summer). Firefighters had to break down the door. She was a bit of a recluse hence why no one had noticed. I barely knew her but felt very guilty no one had realised she had died.

HairyMothballs · 11/09/2022 08:22

You say that nurses usually go in - are they actually carers? He may be in hospital. If it were me, I'd go over there, see if I could see through the window at the back of the house, also look through the letterbox and shout Hello through it. Ask the adjoining neighbour if they know anything about the elderly man.

FourOclock · 11/09/2022 08:23

This is how my dad was found seriously ill, a neighbour opposite noticed his bathroom light had been on night and day for a few days which wasn't usual for him. Turns out he'd been collapsed downstairs all that time

bevelino · 11/09/2022 08:31

I would go and knock the door. He could have fallen or worse.

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