Is this rude of DD’s violin teacher?

[Mrspeanuts]

DD (8) started violin lessons in school with her teacher who works for the local music service. She kindly sends regular updates on WhatsApp about progress and homework etc.

DD took her violin in to school on Wednesday this week (the day of her lesson) and the teacher wasn’t there. I sent an email via the music service asking why there was no lessons. I got what I thought was a rude response saying something along the lines of why would you think there was a lesson? Music tuition always starts back the second week in? I responded with ‘well I didn’t know that’ and the response was ‘well you do have my phone number, maybe should have checked first?’

she has since told me she won’t be posting any more updates on WhatsApp and any further correspondence from her will be via email through the music service.

have I upset her? I’m not sure if I’ve done anything wrong?

What a surprise, the teacher wasn't remotely rude to you.

I am also not surprised that now you have discovered how good she is, you're kicking yourself for your behaviour, but still haven't figured out its unacceptable to be rude like that to anyone regardless of how talented they are!

I don't think she spoke to her or treated her like crap, she was abrupt and rude which she was wrong to do. Aside from asking her to communicate in future via the music service, the teacher's reply was fair enough. But to block her was unprofessional and thin skinned.

If op was shouting dogs abuse then 100% the teacher should block her, but over a rude message, nah that is ridiculous.

Yes everyone deserves politeness and respect. Whoever you are, whether you are providing a service or not! I imagine op has learnt her lesson.

Is Bach difficult on violin? That’s what I’ve just looked at her playing- she sounds pretty good to be fair

Come on people (and @MNHQ)

I didn’t think an accomplished violinist would be in a teaching job at a state primary school.

She's not. She's a professional musician, tutoring privately through an agency (the local music service). It's very common.

We've been back 3.5 weeks now. Dd has brought her violin in every Tuesday as is the normal day but as yet no lesson. Have never felt the need to email anyone. Just assumed it hasn't started back yet and got on with my day! If I did enquire it wound certainly be far more polite. Sorry YADBU

Many professionals in the performing arts will also teach, alongside professional engagements. My DD’s trumpet teacher did. In fact, teaching can sometimes be the most regular part of their income.

So had you known she was accomplished you wouldn't have been rude..?

i would have been more careful with my words I think

Oh and DD's lessons weren't on the last couple of weeks of term because the teacher was touring Europe playing her violin. This is free (to me( lessons in a state school so yes, they are definitely that good!

I'm a music teacher. A busy one that earns enough I don't need to put up with rude parents. Being be curt back really helps weed out the parents who are going to be hard work. I have never had to be rude to the nice ones and they pay me just the same. My thoughts are, your music teacher thinks if you don't like it don't use them.

Yes, Bach can be bloody difficult on pretty much any instrument! And if she teaches masterclasses then she's far more than "pretty good". I play several instruments to a fairly high standard and wouldn't consider myself anywhere near able to teach masterclasses!

It seems like you've made a massive error of judgement here and seen this situation almost as this teacher owing you something, rather than that a talented professional is providing your daughter with a very valuable opportunity which you're really jeopardising with your attitude towards the teacher. You've managed to be rude enough for the teacher to feel she needs to limit contact with you to formal channels only - it may be worth considering that further behaviour like you've shown could lead to your daughter's lessons being switched to a different teacher or cancelled altogether!

I'd recommend a polite apology through the appropriate official channels.

Nope, just be nice and polite to everyone. You don't have to find out someone's social standing or musical prowess before you switch on your manners.

This is the problem in a nutshell.

Lawd... Everyone deserves common courtesy, that includes crap violin players too

This is part of where you're going wrong. Treat everyone with respect and don't consider yourself so above others that your basic manners are only to be bestowed upon the 'accomplished'.

Wow, you were rude to her and she was professional and polite. Incredible that you didn’t see that.

Wow.

You would have been more careful had you realised she was a good musician.

Reality check - most music teachers ARE.

I was being nice to you before because I thought you'd been rude by accident and could fix it. I don't answer my phone on weekends or late evenings either BTW.

You're just a nasty person :(

Yeah you've been really rude to her OP, multiple times, it wasn't just the first message that was rude! You've recognised that now though which is good, you probably need to make sure you stick to very professional messages in future! You need to send an apology email, that you didn't mean to offend her, that you think she's a fantastic teacher, and that you hope this won't sour your positive relationship.

I think you’ll find someone who is both good at communicating AND good at the violin, so honestly don’t worry if you don’t gel with this one. I suspect people will become more a anxious about getting their lessons in as many are now scrimping and scraping for their children to be able to continue. Music teachers will either learn to relieve that “value for money” anxiety or people will stop taking lessons.

Charlie from Busted.

Op you were extremely rude and she was polite back to you. Plus you sound like a hideous snob. Your English reads fine on here so I don't think you can blame a cultural difference.
You owe her a big apology

Wrong thread 🤣

Thought he was an example of someone who plays violin brilliantly but who also communicates well!