Work full time with teens?

[HappyKoala56]

AIBU to consider a full time job with a teen and pre-teen (13 and 11)? How do other ft working parents manage with kids of these sort of ages? They are ok to stay home on their own for short times and neither are anxious with this, but it would mean 2 hours on their own after school until I get home which feels like a lot. And then what do I do in school holidays? It's a long time to be by themselves, but they don't appreciate all day clubs. I feel stuck in this middle ground of they are too old for childcare but too young for prolonged periods on their own. What does everyone do?
For context I don't HAVE to work ft, hence why I'm not sure if iabu. I have my own business and work part time currently, but I have put all career progression on hold for the past 14 years to be around for the kids and I'm eager to get back on working on myself. Do I leave it another year or 2?
YABU - stay home longer
YANBU - go get that job!

🤣🤣🤣Sounds like a very indulged teen

I don't want my 15 year old working - where anyway?

I think it's hard for 15 year old's to find jobs. But much easier for 16 year olds. DD knows virtually no one in Year 12, who doesn't have a part time job, and this then goes towards funding alcohol some of the extras.

For example, I noted a poster saying their 14 year old had spent £26 on a meal out with friends. At 14, a meal out for my teens would be something like McDonalds, a pizza to share between them, or heavily subsidised with Tesco/discount vouchers. More expensive meals out didn't happen until they were paying for them themselves.

But I don't want him to work as I want him to concentrate on GCSEs. I didn't work at 15 and it made no difference to my employability..

I think the employment landscape has changed since you were 15.

I didn't want my 15 year old to work either. But by Year 12, they have more flexible time as their day is not all fixed timetable. And this tends to happen roughly as they are acquiring more expensive tastes :)

Sorry the piano is DD but we have to pay for guitar lessons as he is studying music GCSE, how is that indulgent? The Spanish trip is one of the school's cheaper trips and they have emphasised its importance for vocab and GCSe again how is that indulged. We don't qualify for any help so would you say the kids being paid for that can't afford it are indulged no you would rightly say they should be offered the same opportunities. Again, full-time childcare is a choice especially if you are on enough money to not receive any help.

I worked from 14 and was expected to take a lunch from home (although no food put aside for this). I too would prefer them to concentrate on their studies in fact DS gave up his pt job in yr 13 to concentrate on his A -levels.

The Spanish trip isn’t mandatory though. Mine never went (trip cancelled due to covid)
DD’s friend is v musical and used to earn by giving music lessons to beginners as a young teen and had lessons at a programme at a royal college of music rather than paying for lessons. She also did paid gigs and earnt £50 a night at a pub age 16.
A 15 yr old earning by giving piano lessons a few hours a week is a good thing not a negative.

I worked from 14 and was expected to take a lunch from home (although no food put aside for this). I too would prefer them to concentrate on their studies in fact DS gave up his pt job in yr 13 to concentrate on his A -levels.b

Ok so your adding up the cost of 2 teens then….I have 2 toddlers and a pre teen but I’m only discussing the costs of one toddler compared to one teen.

Tbf you don't know how old i am and I did work in 6th form to fund things and it meant I socialised too much and it wasn't good.

Ds is not at a level he could teach, he just studies music as he is interested in being a music producer.

So all his friends go to Spain annd he doesn't? I don't think teenagers missing out o

On stuff in Covid is a great benchmark.

No I am comparing 1 teen and I mistakingly included DD who is preteen for music outgoings

Mine preps her breakfast and lunch the evening before. Out of a big group of friends only 1 or 2 occasionally bought lunch at school. One friend baked everything from scratch inc rolls and flapjacks on a Sunday for the week ahead she got all 9s in her gcses last month so time taken obviously didn’t impact her studying.

That's great but my DS isn't interested in baking anything let alone flapjacks. I'm sure that kind of kid did get all 9s but a teenagers needs being met are not reflected in all 9s. My DS probably buys more junk out than your daughter and her friend as that's how they socialise ,

Completely understand people not wanting them to get a part time job and thinking it could affect their studying but I remember having more free time in 6th form to study so the majority of my friends found time to do a few hours part time work. I was contracted to work Sundays only (got double time) from age 16-18 before I went to uni, the majority of the staff in on that day were sixth form pupils like myself so it felt like we socialised whilst earning money, management used to ask me to do overtime so depending on my studies and social life I would either do an extra evening here and there or tell them no. I remember feeling really rich and being able to spend my money on whatever I wanted. Got my Alevels, went to uni of my choice, did a full time course at uni and worked on top when I could whilst I was there too to help fund my uni life.

My mother was just always at home, she didn't work. She didn't make the family income lower either, since she had given up work before I came along. I never felt like I went without as a child or teenager.

If I could afford to, I would stick with PT but if you really need the money then go FT, teens can look after themselves mostly, if they are trustworthy.

I wonder if it's a girl thing. Both of mine have gone through phases of taking in lunches. Dd is more committed than DS, I do notice the difference in food bills though, probably £10 a week extra, more for DS than Dd. Examples of what he would take are cold sliced chicken ( £2:50 a packet) pkt of wraps (?£1:50) some ham, (£2) beef tomatoes, some sort of bar (£2 for 5) and some extra fruit, maybe a multi- pack of healthy crisps. Dd more likely to take pasta in a flask.

@Hastingsontheup off topic but do you find those food flasks keep the pasta warm till lunch? Thinking of getting my eldest one as she likes pasta etc and was adding up the costs of the things she currently puts in her packed lunch against a hot meal in school….her packed lunches for 5 days came to £8/£9 (ish) and for school dinners it was £12.50….I thought for £4 a week extra and no stress of having to sort lunches maybe I should just go school dinners then thought about cheaper alternatives to the packed lunches she brings and thought about pasta / soup in food flask

perfectly acceptable trainers

Those sub £40 trainers in the picture are "perfectly acceptable", yes, but they aren't what would be considered "cool" or "looking good" or "fashionable". If it's all you can afford, then it's all you can afford.

Trainers like that are the norm in his circles though.
The point being what some people are so desperate to tell us is essential spending really isn't the norm for everyone.
I'm just trying to show another view of the amount you have to spend on teenagers.

I was actually worried that those trainers wouldn't withstand 3 miles of daily walking, not enough arch support for growing feet.

Well I’m quite sure some teens can cook every meal from scratch, do batch baking for all their snacks, do a part time job, and score all 9s in their GCSEs. Oh and still find time to polish their halos 😜

Spare a thought for the kids that struggle a bit more with life and need a bit more of a helping hand. They are all different.

Yes, especially if you warm the flask with boiling water first.

His feet are fine thanks for your concern though 🙄

I chose to work pt when they were teens .
This was because although they are older their brains are re wiring and they can need more support. Also its good to have the choice to be around if poss. My older dd and ds now tell me how much they appricated it retrospectively.
Its also , for me , about being around in the baclground as it were. It reàlly helped us as a family.
Mind you, it may depend on the type of job done. Mind was a v v intense public service job and i had little energy after work so pt helped with enabling me to earn and support when it was full on .!

I am currently considering working ft with much smaller children, I must be an awful mother!