Queen Passing but Not feeling It – AIBU

[Richielogic]

Now don’t get me wrong, of course it’s a massive loss to the UK, commonwealth and to her family, I get that but for me personally I’m just not feeling it. I think I have so many matters of my own, work and family to deal with and worry about that I just can’t relate to it.

Only today three hours before the official announcement, all five main UK TV channels were nonstop talking about the queen and we have gone into what I can only describe as a “24hr Queenathon” where in respect, TV is in a loop just talking about the same thing over and over constant. We will have weeks of this now and a bank holiday so more business interruption at a horrendous economic time and I’m sick of it already.

It's not that I’m uncompassionate, I got very upset recently over some of the atrocities that children in Ukraine have faced from Russian aggression, they have something to really worry about at night, that really upset me but with the Queen passing I’m just not feeling it. I will celebrate the life of the Queen, she has been amazing, but I can’t relate to mourning over her, I just can’t.

My Sister-in-law today has been in tears over the Queens death, half of me feels like saying “just get a grip, you're lucky that’s all you need to cry about” of course I won't, will just nod and say it's very sad but I just think, yes Queens been incredible, let's celebrate her life but as for mourning, shouldn’t that be for direct family only? AIBU?

Finally, at 96 I feel she had a really long life, worked hard but the best of everything. Some good people just don’t get a fraction of that, maybe that’s also a factor for me. Anyone else feeling the same or am I being uncompassionate?

@oddlytired
Please don't cancel your daughter's 21st party because of this, your poor daughter! I imagine her and her friends feelings are the same as the OPs. Anyone older invited who now can't bring themselves to celebrate an actual real, loved person, well they are completely bonkers!

People publicly grieving a fantasy figurehead they never knew, the worst kind of attention seeking. Now the flagshaggers are the tearful, triggered snowflakes!

Load of nonsense. Rich lady carks it. We have real lives to live.

I follow quite a few celebrities on IG and it appears to me that they have all gone for the 'I'd better post a random pic of the Queen with a broken heart emoji so as not to appear unfeeling' approach.
Some have dug out a pic of them shaking hands with the Queen which I have slightly more time for.

The fawning/waffling on GMB is something to behold.

It’s my wedding party this weekend - today and tomorrow. It has been cancelled TWICE because of covid. It has been 2 years in the making and has cost a fortune. No way that is being cancelled because a woman none of us met died peacefully at a ripe old age. And people discussing schools closing. After what we just went through. Have people gone mad !

Yes, definitely carry on. Have a toast to the Queen if your guests would appreciate it.

I feel the same tbh.she was a figurehead really. A nice lady that very few of us ever got to meet. At 96 she has had a very privileged life .yet I would not like to have had my life mapped out as she had.my fil was 94 when he died,the vicar said he feels sad when younger people die ,but older people who have lived a good life not so much as they have had their turn so to speak. 10 days of mourning seems a lot .we will be watching I player and netflix going on my a lot!

@PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior

You can disagree with how people respond to the news/how much news coverage it gets/whether or not people wear black today while still being respectful and considerate of other's feelings.

If you think that all of this is a circus. That we should have a two minute silence and then never talk/film news reports about the queen again until the funeral/maybe not even televise the funeral then fair enough. I disagree but I'm not going to attack you for that or start using offensive or patronising language.

Susannah Reid has just described the Queen as 'entirely human'.

I'm not grieving for a very old, privileged woman that I didn't know.

She died warm and well fed, which I don't think will be the case for many elderly people this winter.

Controversial 🦎

I relate to your OP and agree. I was a little taken about by the strength of some people’s feelings then a couple of people I know said that it brought up feelings of when their mother or grandmother died. It doesn’t hurt to listen without judgement if people want to talk about it.

I didn't feel especially sad when my own mom died (others were surprised but I thought it was coming for years before that). I was wondering it's just me who liked QE2 but didn't mind her passing ... I don't feel sad about someone very old passes who had a generally good life & probably a fairly good death. I wish King C well.

Will be pleased when BBC returns to regularly programming. Hope it's < 9 days from now.

Congratulations and hope you have a fabulous time

As I said, I'm not seeing equal respect back for the rights to expression or feelings of those who see it differently. There's a pernicious idea that some views are more legitimate to be expressed at the moment, which is hypocrisy. If you don't fall into that category, obviously that's great. You aren't part of the problem.

Well put OP. Mostly the news coverage just makes me angry as I find the whole concept of having a Royal family so bizarre and outdated.

I love the British history but Kings and Queens should be a thing of the past. The fact the royal family have any role or power in the UK even if it's mostly ceremonial is so wrong.
At least the Queen was a 'good' Queen. Even as someone who disagrees with having a royal family I can see she was hard working and sensible. (Unlike most of the rest!)
The TV can fuck off with The British People are in Mourning because I don't think most people are. The simpering is cringeworthy

I felt the same when Diana died. However, people feel how they want to feel, so if it makes people feel genuinely sad but not you then that's fine. I am not "grieving the Queen" but I felt sad for her yesterday and it's the end of an actual era which is of national interest. Maybe just turn off the TV?

The announcement made me a bit unexpectedly tearful but not so much grieving for her the person but that acknowledgment we are ending an era for the whole nation. A moment of history. Yet another change in these last few unsettled years.

The queen was 96, a good age to pass on. She had a unique life with purpose which is more than many have. It is sad she has gone and I hope that passing was peaceful.

Couldn't agree more. My brother died at 24, so someone dying at 96, who I have never met, is not something i feel any emotions for.

I’m not grieving. She had a great life and was a Queen even to many of those that do not want a monarchy respected and a hard act to follow

I understand that this historically it’s a highly significant moment, that there will be a shift in the national psyche as she to many represented stability which right now we don’t have

i know at work there shall be competitive grieving and wanting time off to go and see her in state/funeral etc

Ive had messages from family abroad sending their condolences I find this a bit strange but understand they are wanting to acknowledge this historical moment

There is no bank holiday being given for the queen's death so thats 1 less thing for you to worry about

I’m sad and I’m not sure why really - as PP’s have said she had a good long life, she wasn’t bedbound or hugely incapacitated, she had her husband with her up until the last 18 months and her family with her and obviously I don’t know her at all - but I find myself really emotional.

I think it’s triggering memories of my mum’s death last year, and the hugely difficult 12 months we’ve had since then and maybe that’s it for a lot of people. Not so much grief for the actual person, but memories and reminders of their own grief.

Whatever, I don’t think anyone should feel bad for not being sad or emotional about it.

@PianoHouseBanger
She was a very wealthy old woman, who lived an extremely privileged life, who's never had to deal with the hardships the rest of us face, like rising costs etc.

True. Her role was public and extraordinary (in the true sense of the word). And she undoubtedly performed it well. But as a person she seemed ordinary. She didn’t have any amazing talent. She didn’t overcome any massive hardship. You’ll probably walk past at least a couple more extraordinary people on the street today.

Great post OP - I welled up for a few minutes yesterday and I'm an ardent Republican as much for probably a subconscious reflection of however important and great we are, we all leave this life in the end. Then you remember those who we have loved and lost and those that will be lost and somehow briefly she was a lightning rod for that thought maybe.

Now though I'm getting slightly annoyed by all the disruption and endless unending guff that is on all the main channels. Channel 4 is back to normal and QVC is back to selling ridiculous overpriced tat to homebound folk so there are glimmers of hope.

I feel sad in that it's the end of an era.

Sad for her family & what they are going through & that her death has come quite close after Philip's

But my goodness to have had two parents for so long & so well for so many of their 90+yrs!

Most people will just be getting up & gong about their days as they ususlly would won't they?

The only thing I’m sad about is the money that’s going to be wasted on a massive funeral and a coronation at a time of economic crisis, while our out of touch politicians keep finger-wagging at those in need for not spending responsibly.