Queen Passing but Not feeling It – AIBU

[Richielogic]

Now don’t get me wrong, of course it’s a massive loss to the UK, commonwealth and to her family, I get that but for me personally I’m just not feeling it. I think I have so many matters of my own, work and family to deal with and worry about that I just can’t relate to it.

Only today three hours before the official announcement, all five main UK TV channels were nonstop talking about the queen and we have gone into what I can only describe as a “24hr Queenathon” where in respect, TV is in a loop just talking about the same thing over and over constant. We will have weeks of this now and a bank holiday so more business interruption at a horrendous economic time and I’m sick of it already.

It's not that I’m uncompassionate, I got very upset recently over some of the atrocities that children in Ukraine have faced from Russian aggression, they have something to really worry about at night, that really upset me but with the Queen passing I’m just not feeling it. I will celebrate the life of the Queen, she has been amazing, but I can’t relate to mourning over her, I just can’t.

My Sister-in-law today has been in tears over the Queens death, half of me feels like saying “just get a grip, you're lucky that’s all you need to cry about” of course I won't, will just nod and say it's very sad but I just think, yes Queens been incredible, let's celebrate her life but as for mourning, shouldn’t that be for direct family only? AIBU?

Finally, at 96 I feel she had a really long life, worked hard but the best of everything. Some good people just don’t get a fraction of that, maybe that’s also a factor for me. Anyone else feeling the same or am I being uncompassionate?

I didn’t know her and won’t be mourning, the Royal Family are of little interest to me. Already fed up of the fawning coverage on TV and competitive grieving on social media. If you’re in floods of tears about the death of someone you never knew, then it’s clearly coming from somewhere else. Naturally it’s a time of great historic importance but life goes on, as it should.

True, that is actually pretty tragic.

I wouldn't worry about it they will bundle all the debt up and charge it to the future whilst keeping all the privilege and wealth intact. The rich take all the profit and the poor take all the cost.

I hear ya! Also, the BBC rolling coverage is totally pointless because they're still playing the same features this morning that they were playing last night, just with different presenters because either Huw Edwards has finally been allowed to go home or he's fallen asleep at his desk! It's just become almost mindless waffled about people laying flowers. urgh. i have the rage with it all today!

National mourning isn't about personal grief, it's about marking the loss to the nation.

Yes, the telly coverage seems endless (but there are plenty of other channels on freeview or available via subscription) but looking back it'll be a shared memory of one of those weird quirks.

The pounds going up the heartless markets are speaking!

Couldn’t give a fuck. Already over people making it about themselves crying and saying how upset they are. Going on about how amazing she was. Embarrassing.

I live in NI, strongly unionist area, and most of the people I met last evening in shops, and this morning while going for a coffee, were talking about it. It's different for different people, my kids (on holds from Uni) don't really care either way.

Logically I know it's an old medieval antiquated institution, but regardless I do feel a bit sad today for a person I never met and don't know. As a person I assume it might (or might not?) have been very difficult for her at times. A lot of very messed up family dynamics and strife, the decline of the empire, the changes in UK society which must have been totally different to her up bringing. Luckily, she seems to have been blessed with robust good health, and always kept up appearances.

I'm thinking of the Beatles lyric "Her Majesty is a pretty nice girl, But she doesn't have a lot to say", might be true but I still feel sad. Based on the media/tv reaction, it's certainly very very big shoes to be filled by the new king.

National mourning isn't about personal grief, it's about marking the loss to the nation.

If only it was just that, sadly there is a sizable number of people who think collective public displays of emotional incontinence and competitive grieving is a worthy asperation that will be respected by their equally hysterical peergroup.

Thank you OP, this thread is a breath of fresh air!

It's completely normal not to feel much about the death of a very old person we never met who led a life of incredible privilege.

I really feel right now for everybody who has lost a loved one who didn't make old bones, it must be hard.

Yesterday feels monumental and it's strange hearing "the King" but that's it for me.

And this. Makes me quite angry actually.

The commentators latch onto something and then do it to death. With Philip, it was the fact that he designed his Land rover hearse and with the Queen, the most dominant theme seems to be she was a great mimic.

And poor old Nicholas Witchell is doomed to guff endlessly knowing that they hate him. Never was hell so artfully created.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iXw7uINYehw

Yeah, it’s emotional in an end-of-era kind of way. I really don’t understand the mindset of people rushing to the palace to cry outside of it.

I generally think that this is wrong, we should be grieving the monarchy as it is the rock of our nation and has held us together for the last 70 years.

I'm so sorry. That really is a tragedy. A 96 year old dying is not a tragedy.

tbh I don't think we are seeing mass outdoor hysteria on any level and that's good because we are a democracy with freedom and we don't do that sort of thing.

This is what manufactured hysterical grief looks like sadly.

*I tend to think of it as referred grief, like referred pain.

When one of our own loved ones dies quite often the feelings are very complicated: shock, relief, guilt, anger. The death of a public but remote figure allows us to feel simple sadness uncomplicated by other emotions.*

I agree with this. The sadness I feel is the loss of the past the Queen represents, because it is also the lost of older loved ones. Particularly my grandparents. But it also is a marker of how old my parents are and what they, inevitably, means...

Plus, I genuinely think the country has lost someone who gave it a great deal of soft power internationally. That will impact us all, in the end.

I'm with you OP.

I guess a lot of people are struggling with their own losses or emotions over other issues in their lives. Being able to cry and be upset long with other people and have something else to focus your emotions on is a common strategy.

Other people are, are as someone else said, grief stealing.

I understand where you are coming from. My mum died at 76 so in all honesty, people who loved the queen (I mean really loved her, like her family) were lucky she lived to a great age of 96.
I can't feel it's that sad for someone to die at 96, was much worse when Diana died young and worse for all the people who die young. There are much worse things going on in the world right now so I hope people will be restrained in the grief they show, as the queen herself was when her husband died.

You are being perfectly reasonable.

I found yesterday was one of those moments when you know you're living through history, and I was quite moved by all she lived through, but that was it.

Hopefully efforts will be made to minimise the impact on business. The strikes being called off its good news anyway.

This will be the last long mourning for a member of the RF, because it does belong to another era.

I hope the performative stuff will wear off quickly as she was so old. But everyone has had such a battering through the last years, it might cut deeper than it should.

@LadyFromage you may well be right - but that could also be coincidental with our decline as an Imperial post-war power. A power that initially wasn't given up easily to the colonized nations under our rule. I suspect many of the Commonwealth nations with the Queen of Head of State will begin the process of becoming Republics now rather than dominions with the death of Her Majesty, a process that has already begun.

I also agree with this.

I think perhaps for many people, for me at least, she represented what was good about someone in a public role. Self sacrifice, duty etc. of course she had massive privileges to go along with this and made mistakes along the way in terms of her family particularly.

Contrast that to today's politicians and I understand why people are sad about her dying. Even Charles and William appear to be more self serving.

No Lorraine Kelly today. It's not all bad.

I feel that it’s sad in that she’s been a constant all of our lives and she has associations to a different era and people in my family who have died were big fans of her . However those same people could perhaps have lived a lot longer if they had access to the same privileges and health treatment she’s had . I don’t mind the monarchy but I see it as a distraction in life the same way I see Coronation Street it’s something to talk about when big things happen with them .