Queen Passing but Not feeling It – AIBU

[Richielogic]

Now don’t get me wrong, of course it’s a massive loss to the UK, commonwealth and to her family, I get that but for me personally I’m just not feeling it. I think I have so many matters of my own, work and family to deal with and worry about that I just can’t relate to it.

Only today three hours before the official announcement, all five main UK TV channels were nonstop talking about the queen and we have gone into what I can only describe as a “24hr Queenathon” where in respect, TV is in a loop just talking about the same thing over and over constant. We will have weeks of this now and a bank holiday so more business interruption at a horrendous economic time and I’m sick of it already.

It's not that I’m uncompassionate, I got very upset recently over some of the atrocities that children in Ukraine have faced from Russian aggression, they have something to really worry about at night, that really upset me but with the Queen passing I’m just not feeling it. I will celebrate the life of the Queen, she has been amazing, but I can’t relate to mourning over her, I just can’t.

My Sister-in-law today has been in tears over the Queens death, half of me feels like saying “just get a grip, you're lucky that’s all you need to cry about” of course I won't, will just nod and say it's very sad but I just think, yes Queens been incredible, let's celebrate her life but as for mourning, shouldn’t that be for direct family only? AIBU?

Finally, at 96 I feel she had a really long life, worked hard but the best of everything. Some good people just don’t get a fraction of that, maybe that’s also a factor for me. Anyone else feeling the same or am I being uncompassionate?

We are all different and will have a different emotional response to the queen's death. I am sad because it's the end of an era. Welled up when I heard the announcement, live, and then the national anthem. But that's it.

Me too OP.
It is sad to hear of a death, but I wasn't personally involved with the queen, had no relationship with her, never met her.
I feel no grief.

I can honestly say that day to day I never gave the Queen any thought whatsoever.
I won’t be rushing down to Buckingham Palace with my garage flowers or signing condolence books.
it’s the end of an era and stuff for the history books but I’ve got other things to be concerned about.

I will be curious to see how long the newspapers keep up the headlines.

She was 96. Not unexpected.

You don't have to feel it. I'm thinking about my late parents' death a bit more which is upsetting. I think she was a "get on with it" kind of person.
Reflecting a bit but I'm in my 50s so there's stuff to reflect on.
What's irritated me (a little thing) is Huw Edwards calling Ireland "The Republic of Ireland " when her visit to Ireland and N Ireland are discussed. Even misquoting the Irish President's statement which clearly refers to the country's actual name -Ireland. But that's a complicated point that most people who aren't Irish won't get.
Like I said, a little thing.

Tbh I haven't seen any of the hysteria that you talk about. Even the news coverage yesterday said that there was 'no hysteria. Just a very well rehearsed plan moving into place'. Perhaps it's different where I am but it's all very calm and reflective. It's good to stop and appreciate that she did for the country but not in an over the top way. All seems pretty beautiful to me xx

driving home from work yesterday at 5 pm i thought about going to london, to buckingham palace - i did not - and i dont plan to

Im not grieving, of course not, but although I'm Irish it still feels significant and historical. Our near neighbours have a new monarch after 70 years. It's a big thing!

Looking forward to seeing a bit more of Camilla's personality. She seems funny.

Yes I feel absolutely the same way op.

I cannot identify with all of these commentators saying that she was "the nation's grandmother" . I'm afraid I didnt relate to her in that way at all.

I admire the fact that she did her job professionally. And feel for her family as I would for anyone who loses a 96 year old matriarch.

Tbh, as a practical countrywoman at heart, she probably would not appreciate the 24 hr rolling sentimentality either!

Totally agree. I liked the Queen, yesterday felt very significant and like the end of an era, but while I was watching the news live as it was a historic moment, I’m not particularly sad. She was 96, she had a good bloody innings. The mass outpouring of grief, people describing themselves as broken-hearted, poems, changing Facebook pictures etc just struck me as a bit OTT for someone they didn’t know. The TV programming is a bit much too! I think coverage of the key events (speech / funeral / processions) etc is completely reasonable, but I don’t think it needs to be wall to wall coverage. My kids are currently outraged that channel 5’s kids programmes aren’t on this morning (though also delighted that I’ve allowed them to watch Netflix in the morning for once).

I went to the funeral of a lovely colleague who was 34 and had two young kids earlier this year - that was a fucking tragedy and worth sobbing over. 96 year old lady who dies at home after long life? Not so much, for all that I respected her.

I do feel sad but not shocked due to her age . I'm sorry for how she had to deal with the shame of what Andrew brought upon her last year . Harry and that awful interview it just wasn't needed . Boris and the party gate . She didn't deserve any of this last 12 months .
I think it's fair to say the UK has become much of a laughing stock . She was about the only respect we had world wide . They'll never be another .

Totally agree OP. I'm getting a bit fed up with being told I'm disrespectful for not being in tears.

I agree with you 100%. It’s sad it is the end of an era - there can’t be many people alive who
remember a different monarch, but when she could have used her power for good in the past few years when we really needed her to, she didn’t. Not just Brexit, but all of Boris’ shenanigans and lies. I think the fact that she just stood by and let her majesty’s government run amok really brought home for me the pointlessness of the royal family for people’s day to day lives and the actual running of the country. Also she must have known at least some of what Prince Andrew was up to for all those years.

She did command great respect around the world though and I don’t think that Charles will have the same. And not to be morbid, but I guess due to his age, his reign might not be too long anyway, and who knows William might breath a bit of life back into the institution. But with the Queen’s death if does feel like this could be the beginning of the end of the monarchy. As the OP says people and the world have bigger concerns these days.

She did her duty for a long time and well.

Am I upset? No. I didn't ever meet her or know her.

Obviously it is a sad time for the direct family but it galls me that a nation is coerced into performative public displays of grief/ trying to outdo each other in their patriotism whilst elsewhere a 90+ year old can't get hospital treatment and has to sit in soiled clothing because we don't have funding for medical staff for Joe public.

Life as usual for me. I'll respect others right to grieve but not to impose it on me.

She was a very wealthy old woman, who lived an extremely privileged life, who's never had to deal with the hardships the rest of us face, like rising costs etc.

She also covered for her disgusting paedophile son, allowing him to escape any punishment he should have faced.

I'm sorry about you mum. I can't get sad over a 96 year old woman who wanted for nothing and lived to a ripe old age. I don't dislike her. I don't know her but I wish you had more time with your mum x

Kate Garraway (dressed in black outside Buckingham Palace) has just described the Queen’s death as ‘seismic’.

I am wondering if Phil and Holly will be working a Friday for a change in order to carry this on. It’s all so predictable.

Kate Garraway has also just told us all not to worry, our money with the Queens face on is still legal tender.

FFS.

This says it very well and I agree.

I feel for the family - they have lost a loved one and that's never easy.

But don't feel anything myself.

I should change channels but it’s strangely compelling to see what nugget of info they’ll come out with next.

Life as usual for me. I'll respect others right to grieve but not to impose it on me

^^ this.

I don’t feel sad about her dying. I recognise the sadness her family will be feeling and the stress they would have felt getting the call to go up there. I think it’s sad she put her duty so high sometimes, when she sat alone at Philip’s funeral and the fact that she was working 2 days before her death. I look at my own grandma and couldn’t possibly leave her alone at my grandad’s funeral while my dad and his brothers got up to deliver the eulogy. People working right up until they die always makes me sad. I know she lived a privileged life and so maybe that is price of such a life but I can’t see anyone else (including the royal family) putting their duty that high. There are some fans of the royal family out there and so the footage is for them (and the world), I feel it’s similar to when the Euros or world cup is on. There are a huge number who are interested but it’s not for me so I’ll just do something else.

I do hate the mentality that ‘this is trivial to me and so if you get upset about it, you’ve obviously got nothing else going on’. Sometimes it’s the little things that impact is the most because of what else we’ve already dealt with. I was talking to a fire station chief who was dreading their shift that night because the automatic function on the door was broken. He said the crew would moan about it all shift, they would individually come to his office and complain, they would be angry and upset. He said they saw so much they had to just get on with that any time something was broken or in the wrong place then it would cause them to let everything out on that item, no matter how trivial.

I feel sad but but both my parents died in the last 6 months so it’s more to do with that. End of an era, not just her but so much that felt like a constant in my life. But agreed that the mawkishness and wall to wall coverage is way ott.

Yanbu to feel how you do however it's not unreasonable for others to feel differently either. I don't think those who are upset by the news should be accused of 'grief stealing'. I was a lot more rattled by the news than I expected to be. It brought back memories of losing my own family members, probably because they were constants in my life just like the queen has been for the country. I'm not bawling the house down but I did feel very out of sorts last night and that's ok.

Today life goes on for us all. I wish people would just be respectful and allow others to feel how they want to feel without judgement (not say that's what's happening on this thread but no doubt it'll start soon. Along with the Harry and Meghan bashing which appears to have already begun).

I would 100% go ahead. I presume you must have an idea of how the people that have been invited month react?
My DS was 21 a few months ago, and none of his friends would’ve cancelled on him because the Queen had died.

My plans will be exactly the same this weekend as they were going to be.