To end this friendship now I know what she would really think of me….

[EmptyHouse0822]

I have a friend and we met because our children go to the same school. It started off as just chatting on the playground, then going out with the children and now we will also go out just the two of us.

We have been friends for about 2.5 years and I would say we are pretty close in that we talk to each other about our problems and we know we can trust each other.

Anyhow, this morning, completely out the blue she made some very negative and distasteful comments about lesbians and although she was trying to pass it off as a joke the undertone was clear that she thought the concept of two women together was quite unpleasant.

The problem is that even though she doesn’t know it, I am bisexual and so her comments made me really uncomfortable. Obviously I’m married with children so she would have no reason at all to suspect I can be attracted to women and so wouldn’t see any reason why her comments would upset me on a personal level.

Even if I wasn’t bisexual I wouldn’t have found her comments acceptable at all.

But now I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like I can carry on this friendship knowing how disapproving she is of an aspect of my life but as we’ve been friends for so long and out children are good friends it wouldn’t make sense to anyone if I just pulled away from her.

I don’t know how to navigate this and I’m already dreading seeing her on the school run this afternoon.

AIBU to just pull back from the friendship and tell her why?

WTF have I just read?

@TwoS you complete nitwit, have you teleported in from the Edwardian Era, or are you suffering from comprehension difficulties? Or maybe just lost your reading specs?

OP hasn't cheated on her husband, she isn't hiding her bisexuality from him, I cannot fathom what her orientation has to do with their parenting, & you are either a goady fucker or immensely dim & bigoted.

HTH

You've fully lost the plot now.

How is that relevant?

Do/did your children know your sexual history? Not that I imagine you've had much of one, you seem like the sex with the lights out and only on birthdays type 🤣

@TwoS

how the heck do you fare in RL? Genuinely curious. Employed? Partner? Children?

You style of communication is utterly bizarre

So are you saying bisexual people shouldn't get married?

So are you saying bisexual people should not be allowed to get married?

Jinx! 😂

Are you okay? Done one too many lines?

TwoS. Calm down please. You are interjecting that anyone who is not an heretosexual has no morals. Well, heterosexuals for all the threads I've read on Mumsnet are less then perfect when it comes to keeping their vows. No role models here. This woman has made a vow to her husband and I expect her to keep it, in good faith.
Why would anyone be talking in detail about their own sexuality to their children? I don't see it as the norm. People talk about it in a general stance usually. Why would that be different? You are looking for a monster and it makes you turn ugly. You don't have to do this.

@TwoS You seem deeply confused about what being bi-sexual is. It means you have the capability to be attracted to male people and female people. It does not mean you are attracted to both at the same time, nor does it mean cheating or an affair. You really don't know what you're talking about.

I am pretty shocked that some people think this wouldn't get in the way of a friendship. I wouldn't want her around me or my children with those homophobic views.
I do get the sadness OP but I think it's because she's not who you thought she was. Someone can be 'nice' in ways but if there's a big thing it can cancel out the rest, this for me is a big thing.

I'd take it as an opportunity to teach her and open her mind. If she still has these views after discussing it and being open and her hopefully learning more, then end the friendship. But likely she doesn't knowingly know anyone bisexual and it comes from a place of ignorance and inexperience.

Don't you all get it? Did you ever take public transport where someone gets on and you tell yourself not to make eye contact with them. Well TwoS is like this and you're all engaging with her. Stop engaging as you can't reason with stupid.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

If I was to hazard a guess

@TwoS is closer to 100 than 50
Has no colleagues and absolutely no interaction with anyone below the age of 30 and indeed limited interaction with many people at all

Regards the Daily Mail as left wing and very progressive (hence doesn’t read). Instead preferring to seek out her news on Twitter

OK @TwoS put the crack pipe down & breathe ...

How, in your demented stream-ofconsciousness world, is any of your rant different from "hetero's - you must shag ONLY your spouse!"

Why do you feel that bisexual people need Special Warning?

Lastly but not leastly - are you ... suffering from MH difficulties at the moment, or are you just a common or garden Goady Fucker?
Because I suspect you are on a name change & that you are the me-railing oddball who posed as Helen, about Dan, on that thread last week.

Twos is confusing deviation (ie from the majority, the het's) with deviancy @ladydoris

A common error of the uninformed, or bigoted.
Not that I think Twos doesn't know what s/he's doing here - s/he is on a wind-up.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

😂😂😂
Blimey @Theblacksheepandme - am SO nicking this for real life usage 😘

Well clearly he doesn't despise tories that much.

That is seriously wrong. Please ask them if they needed a life saving operation and the surgeon had a different colour skin but could save their life what would they say?
Make them think about what they are saying?

Exacrly

same with this friend given she’s not the one thinking of ending the friendship

How did it go at swimming?

She didn’t turn up.