AIBU to be really annoyed/upset at first day of primary school childs lunch eaten by another

[charley39]

As the title suggests really.

Just collected my son from his first day of school in reception. Nothing was said at pick up by the teacher. On our way out of the school my son told us that he didn’t eat his sandwiches. Bit more digging and he’s told me that he didn’t get his lunch another child ate it all and he was given a baguette instead. None of it was making any sense so we went back to the class to speak to the teacher.

Apparently another child has picked up his lunch bag and they assumed my son didn’t have packed lunch so they got him a ham baguette which he ate half the bread off(he won’t eat ham only plain bread). Then she said they then realised another child had his lunchbox and they then gave it back to my child so I said oh so you did eat your crisps and cake and my son was adamant he didn’t get it it was eaten. Teacher then said oh I don’t think we had picked up on it quick enough.

Now I’ve come home I’m getting more and more upset about the situation. He’s come home starving and it has stressed him out the fact he didn’t get his own lunch which is a big thing for him. And the fact it’s his first day of school.

Also extremely concerned in terms of allergies etc if the other child who had his lunch had allergies. I feel like it is a big issue?

Move on, OP.

I thi k it is a very big issue! Either your child or the other child could, as you mentioned, have severe allergies, although usually things like nuts etc are not usually allowed in school nowadays. Nevertheless, this could have caused real harm and the school should be much more careful!

these things happen. If it happened again there’s a problem, but this is just an accident.

Don’t make a big deal of it and your son won’t.

@Sparklythings1

Seeing to it that every child gets the right lunch comes way ahead of a break for the teacher.

Any teacher who is dead on her feet to the point where she has any personal priority that comes ahead of taking care of such a basic element of the first day for the children in her care needs to reexamine her fitness for her chosen profession.

It is a bit crap of them, it must be said! Also, could have been dangerous if another child had an allergy.

Id just concentrate on making sure they are very certain not let it happen again rather than getting upset. Maybe explain you’ve had to give him a lot of reassurance that it won’t happen again. And obviously do reassure him!

@mathanxiety have you ever covered a morning in reception? 😅 There are many other adults there at lunch time who are actual responsible, not the teacher. If she isn’t allowed to eat or grab a drink (also can’t go to the toilet for hours at a time but who cares about her, eh?), who’s teaching them in the afternoon?

@Twizbe are you saying that this teacher - who apparently shouldn't be expected to make sure each child got his own lunch, and was apparently unable to anticipate problems arising from inability to read - was completely sure about the dietary requirements of each and every little four-year-old stranger in her classroom?

The op says it was clearly labelled all over and there is no talk of another lunch box that he could have eaten. I think this needs more investigation by the teacher, it's not normal for reception children to take someone's lunch and it would seem they did not have their own so essential took it. The other child's parents should be informed.

The overly cool parents might want to think if this has ever happened to them, probably not, and have some empathy!

Crikey! Been there done that, my son was bitten by another child first day! Scarred me for life - he’s all grown up now doesn’t even remember it.

I am a teacher-a TA takes my class out to lunch play at 12 and then they go into the hall and eat. I am not with them at all for the hour.

@Sparklythings1
The schools I am familiar with have a system to ensure all the children who are at an age where they are not expected to be able to read get their own lunches.

An adult takes each bag or box and reads out the name of the child written on it, who then takes his or her lunch. It takes less than two minutes per class group.

I'd like to know what other important corners get cut in schools where people here think this is normal and that none of the adults in charge should feel they dropped the ball.

Lunchboxes got muddled up...it the grand scheme of things I think everybody will be ok.
As for the overdramatic "allergies" war cry, I'm confident the school will have a list of pupils with allergies and would have offered food accordingly.

I know first days can be anxious times for parents but your child will learn how to deal with these issues from you so it's a good time to model regulated and reasonable reactions.

Thank goodness the other kid didn’t have allergies. Do they check for that….

Big day for both of you, tomorrow will be better!

@Shinyandnew1 - and is the TA incapable of handing out the right lunch to the right child? Making sure the children are fed is every bit as important as making sure they get some exercise and fresh air. The physical needs of small children should be a priority for their school.

A school that doesn't seem to think it's important that children get their own lunches is not one I'd like to send a child to.

If a school thinks it's important, then that would be reflected in a system it had developed to make sure children had something more than the interior of a baguette to eat all day, whether that was their own lunch or an alternative a child could reasonably be expected to eat.

No, but she would be aware of the ones who have them. OP's child doesn't have a dietary need so no issue with offering a ham sandwich.

I'd be quite upset too Op.

Yes in the grand scheme of things no harm done.

I assumed (silly me!) that lunch boxes were handed out.

Not a big deal.

There are a lot of rude and inconsiderate people on mumsnet. The OP didn't go into hysterics in front of her son. She dealt with it how she should have. You have my sympathy OP. This was something upsetting for him on what was probably a daunting day for him anyway. He's 4 years old. I hope this doesn't happen again, and those supervising the children over lunch pay a bit more attention in future. YANBU for looking out for your son

But this teacher is apparently so exhausted by the completely unforeseen busyness and chaos of the first day that she can't possibly be expected to make sure each child even got their own lunchbox, @Twizbe.

How could she be expected to go tobthe trouble of correctly identifying children with dietary restrictions, in a class she's never clapped eyes on before, and make sure the diet information on file was correct?

Surely it would have been less work for her to just make sure the kids all got the right lunch in the first place, and no danger of getting children mixed up or relying on information that might or might not have been filed or transcribed correctly?

These things do happen. But in reception class some of the children struggle with their communication etc. write his name on
it in really big letters. I’m sure they won’t let it happen again. But they have probably got 30 four year olds to keep an eye on, not easy.

Hardly.

I can see why you and your child are upset about this OP. I hope the teacher will put measures in place to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
Also, to communicate better in future, reporting any significant events to you so that you are able to support your child to manage situations they might find difficult.

I would put his name on the lunchbox but if they are of pre reading age could you stick a photo or drawing of themselves so the other child knows it's definitely not his. overkill but If he's anxious and it's put a bad spin on nursery it may be worth it?

The first day is difficult, for both children and parents (and school staff!). Honestly, you're likely to have bigger problems later on so I wouldn't get too stressed about this, it'll all be forgotten about in no time. It's quite likely that your DS will (accidentally) do similar things to other children too, so I'd very much keep it relaxed or his school life will feel very stressful.

How did it go today?

Did he manage to get his own lunch?