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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to just let DD go to school with earrings in.

306 replies

PinkChaires · 04/09/2022 09:29

School starts tomorrow and DD is saying that she will go to school her earrings in (not allowed). Now i dont agree that earrings shouldnt be allowed however they are the school rules. Ive said to her health and safety but she says that 1) my earrings are small and screw on- there is no chance of them falling off or getting caught on something. Tbh shes right- shes worn these earring from nursery right through primary school and there has never been an issue. 2) if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. Shes right on this to- in events and parents evenings ive seen the teachers wear earrings/jewellery. Shes gotten phone calls home about this and got shouted at by the school but she says to me ' its a bit hard to take them seriously about the danger of earrings when they have like 5 earrings as well'. I cant get hett up about her wearing the earrings to school. Shes doing amazing in all other areas of school so far and this seems like a pointless rule
AIBU?

OP posts:
W0tnow · 04/09/2022 09:31

Take them out. Honestly teachers do not need to be dealing with this. Just take them out. If you don’t like the school rules, send her somewhere else.

imaginationhasfailedme · 04/09/2022 09:32

It's a pointless rule but it's a rule. Up to you and your daughter if you break it.
Not a great start to the new term though, maybe get her to go a week or so without as the first couple of weeks will be hotter on uniform etc.

Hillsidehigh · 04/09/2022 09:33

Take them out

littlebirdieblu · 04/09/2022 09:33

It seems pointless to you, but it's the school rule. Just take them out.

barelyfunctional · 04/09/2022 09:33

YANBU, if she’s not bothered about getting into trouble for it then it’s fine. I’ve never come across a school that doesn’t allow any earrings at all, normally rules say just studs and only lobe piercings, so the school is being abnormally strict with their rules for no apparent reason. Also totally agree that the teachers should have to follow the same rules, setting a good example and all that.

prepared101 · 04/09/2022 09:34

How old is she? Once DD got to about 12 I stopped fighting and let her face the consequences of getting uniform infringements at school!

Shortandsweet20 · 04/09/2022 09:34

I would just take them out. If the school is strict to their policy they will speak to you anyway at the end of the day to say she can't wear them.

Flatandhappy · 04/09/2022 09:34

If you and your daughter don’t want to follow the school rules don’t, just find another school that aligns with your values. The “I’m too special to follow silly rules brigade” really piss me off as they waste so much of the teachers/administrators time. At my kids’ school such families are invited to educate their child elsewhere.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 04/09/2022 09:35

Are they studs or earrings?
I know my niece was asked to put 2 bright blue plasters over her earrings if she insisted on wearing them, she soon stopped.

WhiteFire · 04/09/2022 09:36

Is she starting a new school? If she is she really doesn't want to be getting off on the wrong foot.

If is not a new school what have the consequences been so far, other than an argument about teachers.

notonur · 04/09/2022 09:36

Stupid rule that I wouldn't be getting my DD to follow. A simple, small stud is fine. Taking them out even for a few days can cause some peoples holes to start closing.

AFS1 · 04/09/2022 09:36

Do you and your daughter really not see a difference between a pupil and a teacher and what they’re allowed to wear? Perhaps she should get to hang out in the staff room? I mean, teachers are allowed to, so why can’t she?

Just take the earrings out. It’s surprising that it’s a rule. In my daughter’s school they only take them out for PE, but a rule is a rule.

raindon · 04/09/2022 09:37

2) if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. the teachers don't tend to get into fights or get their earrings caught during PE.

Unless it's a religious thing then they need to be taped over - they need to come out. That or don't go crying to the school when her earlobes have been ripped.

raindon · 04/09/2022 09:38

notonur · 04/09/2022 09:36

Stupid rule that I wouldn't be getting my DD to follow. A simple, small stud is fine. Taking them out even for a few days can cause some peoples holes to start closing.

Tough. They shouldn't have got the holes put in if it was going to be an issue to take the earrings out.

Cheeselog · 04/09/2022 09:38

barelyfunctional · 04/09/2022 09:33

YANBU, if she’s not bothered about getting into trouble for it then it’s fine. I’ve never come across a school that doesn’t allow any earrings at all, normally rules say just studs and only lobe piercings, so the school is being abnormally strict with their rules for no apparent reason. Also totally agree that the teachers should have to follow the same rules, setting a good example and all that.

My school was like this. You had to get a permit if they had been recently pierced and couldn’t take them out yet.

OP does she at least take them out for PE? That’s usually where they have health and safety concerns.

headinabook · 04/09/2022 09:38

We’ve got teachers dealing with kids who haven’t had a hot meal in the last 48 hours. Do you think they need the hassle of adding rule-breakers to their list?

1AngelicFruitCake · 04/09/2022 09:39

😄 you sound ridiculous! Does she do everything you and her Dad do as well? She needs to learn that adults have options available to them just as she will when she’s an adult. By her reckoning teachers shouldn’t be in on inset days because pupils aren’t. You could go on with this.
Either make her take them out or let her face the consequences with no sympathy when there are consequences!

AlwaysHopeful · 04/09/2022 09:39

I have this with my daughter. She makes valid points. If she wants to change the rules then she can get onto the school council or whatever to debate it at a level that'll maybe result in change.

In the meantime follow the uniform rules, like all the other societal rules she will follow for the rest of her life, and stop causing unnecessary paperwork.

SnoozyLucy7 · 04/09/2022 09:39

Why wouldn’t the rules apply equally to your daughter, if they apply equally to everyone else? If you let her go in wearing them, when she was explicitly asked not to, you are teaching her that rules do not apply to her and this will not put her in good stead for the future.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 04/09/2022 09:39

Lots of school rules are arbitrary and not reflective of real life, but kids just have to suck it up. Tbh I think it's a good thing for them to have something to harmlessly rebel against.

It's really irrelevant to compare herself to teachers though. Teachers don't have to wear uniform. They're adults, and the students aren't.

Personally I'd ask her to remove them and if she refuses back up whatever consequences come from school.

Comtesse · 04/09/2022 09:40

I hate petty rules like this. I’m kind of with your daughter.

mycatisannoying · 04/09/2022 09:40

Absolutely ridiculous that you would expect a teacher - a grown woman - to follow the same rule.

Original poster
PinkChaires · 04/09/2022 09:41

I am inclined to just let her as she is going into y10 so she can just face the consequences of her actions. So far punishments have been to take it out and on one occasion get shouted at which she was not fazed by. She says most of the girls wear earring and just hide them. They are stud earrings and were given by deceased grandmother and are considered her 'lucky earrings' so thats why she wants to wear them so much

OP posts:
JennyForeigner · 04/09/2022 09:41

I'm going to tell you a secret. Some of these rules are just about having rules and learning to be with others.

One day your daughter might want a job in a restaurant. She will have to wear a hairnet. If she becomes a surgeon she will have to take off her rings.

The greatest favour you can do her is to teach her to play within the rules, no matter how stupid they seem to her, so she can progress and be happy without turning everything into an argument.

Mamansparkles · 04/09/2022 09:41

Most schools say studs only, and take them out for PE. But so many pupils lose them during PE and then kick up a massive fuss and there is a huge drama, so some schools are moving to 'no earrings' to avoid this. It's difficult to say 'no earrings on days you have PE' because that's impossible to enforce without every teacher having memorised every pupil's timetable.
Not being a PE teacher, and therefore never having PE (and also being a grown up who can be responsible for my own belongings) I don't have to follow this rule, no.