AIBU to just let DD go to school with earrings in.

[PinkChaires]

School starts tomorrow and DD is saying that she will go to school her earrings in (not allowed). Now i dont agree that earrings shouldnt be allowed however they are the school rules. Ive said to her health and safety but she says that 1) my earrings are small and screw on- there is no chance of them falling off or getting caught on something. Tbh shes right- shes worn these earring from nursery right through primary school and there has never been an issue. 2) if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. Shes right on this to- in events and parents evenings ive seen the teachers wear earrings/jewellery. Shes gotten phone calls home about this and got shouted at by the school but she says to me ' its a bit hard to take them seriously about the danger of earrings when they have like 5 earrings as well'. I cant get hett up about her wearing the earrings to school. Shes doing amazing in all other areas of school so far and this seems like a pointless rule
AIBU?

YANBU

You’ve done the right thing OP - you’ve said you think she should take them out but as she is 15 she needs to make these decisions for herself.

She needs to learn her choices have consequences.

I wouldn’t worry about it though as she’s just pushing the boundaries/ trying to learn independence and I’d rather she did it through wearing earrings than something more reckless.

That's a bit of a stretch!!!

A part of the problem is that literally everyone wears earrings. Ive seen it myself and have gotten told by dd and family. Its an all girls school so the majority will wear some type of earrings.

Seriously schools are going to have enough to deal with in the coming weeks aside from this.
You may not agree with the rules maybe, but your daughter will come up against many rules as she enters young adulthood and the workplace that perhaps make little sense to her, that she will need to follow....
Take them out and remove any potential school problems.
Ear-rings at weekends is the logical compromise?

Oh give over

😀I agree that the OP's daughter shouldn't wear earrings, but I don't think it's a straight choice between taking earrings out or leaving them in and becoming pregnant. 😂

Oh yeah, I forgot to add:

Sad face photos are available from here (they probably have enough trainer wearing kids whose footwear is almost the same as leather school shoes and parrot-coloured mohican sensible student haircuts already so this drama could break it up a bit) : [email protected]

DD is going into Y10. At her school you can wear small studs as long as you take them out for games.

I don’t get involved at all- she occasionally bends the rules (eg huggies instead of studs) and I’m ok with that as long as she’s ok with doing the detention if she gets one (she never has). Y10 is old enough to make one’s own mind up about such things and take the consequences.

I’m a teacher and I do think a lot of the uniform rules are a bit daft. However, teachers are grown ups and don’t have to adhere to the same uniform code as students- nor should they have to. Be prepared for detentions etc if she/ you are deliberately flouting the rules - which are clear before you accept the place at the school.

Are you actually saying my daughter is going to become pregnant because of her earrings🤣?

Seriously though, my daughter is very well behaved and is the top of her class and won multiple awards last year-whilst wearing earrings?

I'm surprised by the number of people suggesting that you should blindly follow all rules.

I'd rather my children think critically. I wouldn't follow a rule that was without justification, and I wouldn't expect them to either.

Oh God please don’t be that parent!

Ignore any posters that tell you to encourage rule breaking or that they only follow rules that suit them.

Their kids will end up with no job and no future prospects and awful entitled personalities, you don’t want your DD ending up like their DCs.

“I’m too special to follow silly rules brigade” really piss me off as they waste so much of the teachers/administrators time.

This

The greatest favour you can do her is to teach her to play within the rules, no matter how stupid they seem to her, so she can progress and be happy without turning everything into an argument.

And this.

Life has lots of rules that can seem ridiculous. The key to success is knowing which battles to fight. Honestly, I'd take the earrings out.

Don't be one of those parents.

State schools shouldn't really have these rules. Private schools sure, you’re joining a club and you sign up to stupid rules or leave but state schools are there to educate all children, blue hair, earrings and all and so no you shouldn’t change schools because you don’t like the rules.

Civil disobedience has always been a valid approach to challenging the state oversteppping so I would point out the risks, agree the rule is pointless, suggest other ways she could make her protests if she wants and leave it to her. This isn’t your fight.

if teachers don’t want to waste time dealing with uniform breaches, then they should also lobby their management to abolish stupid rules which waste teacher time in this way or they could of course also engage in their own acts of civil disobedience and refuse to enforce silly rules but the risks are higher for them so understandable that they don’t.

🙄 It’s going to waste teaching time. At 15, she should already understand consequences of not following rules.

Fuck me, I really feel for teachers having to deal with this shit from kids and their parents that refuse to parent.

It’s her attitude that’s the problem, @PinkChaires

The whole “I don’t care what they say I’m going to wear them because I want to!”

It’s rude and spoilt, and the fact that you think the only way to get them out of her is to rip them out leaves your parenting under heavy question.

You need to learn the difference between ‘anecdote’ and ‘evidence’ pronto or you’re going to struggle in life 🤣

And life really doesn’t have lots of rules that seem ridiculous. Some employers do, some governments do on occasion but we don’t say
”we’ll wearing the hijab is the rule in Iran so if she didn’t want to be flogged/imprisoned she should just have followed the rules” at least I hope we don’t.

Challenging unfair, unreasonable or just pointless rules is something adults do too.

This is one of the reasons I am glad to be out of teaching.

If the school rules say no earrings then it's no earrings. For all those people saying they won't be expecting their child to do this or that: grow up!

If you don't like the rules then either find another school or approach the headteacher like and adult and present a case (following the rules in the meantime).

Seriously. Teachers have enough to deal with without these daily battles.

Of course teachers might wear them. They could also wear makeup and high heels. They are the adults.

I play netball and I have to take all mine out. I assume the students will have PE? Jewellery is a hazard there.

Home education is always an option for those who think rules don't apply to their precious offspring.

I speak as a parent too. I would be incredibly angry of my children's learning time was disrupted because of others being told to take out earrings, or whatever other rules the parents have decided it's ok for them to flount.

This is fucking ridiculous. How are the earrings gonna get her pregnant?

So basically yet another parent who can't be bothered to parent..... Lazy sod.

Christ, do you honestly think that teachers have nothing better to do than deal with shit like this day after day. Your precious princess is not special. She’s one of a thousand kids they’re trying to keep safe and educate and they don’t have time for this crap. Take the earrings out. It’s not fucking rocket science. You know the rules. It doesn’t matter a fig whether you agree with them or not - literally nobody cares whether you agree with them or not.

Most secondary schools allow kids to wear small stud earrings so it cant be a health & safety issue otherwise it would be the same for all schools. If the teachers are wearing earrings I would challenge this, I cant see that a small stud earring should be a problem.

This is one particular rule that I really dislike. My daughter is nearly 8 and got her ears pierced around April time, when she was at a school that permitted studs. We have since relocated and her new school doesn't allow any earrings at all. They have been quite slow to heal (yes, we have looked after them properly and she has been very responsible with them) and putting them in and out every day is making them very sore. I think they would close up quite quickly if we left them out and she would be gutted as she absolutely loves them. The reason for banning them is supposedly "health and safety" but I really struggle to see how a small stud poses risk of injury.

We weren't aware of the no earrings rule until she actually started and they sent home the school handbook - although it wouldn't have been a valid reason to choose a different school. But it is very annoying.

😂 ‘Top of their class’. Any particular subject? All of them?

Well behaved children respect the rules. Shes behaving like a brat, not a well behaved child. But she has a parent that doesn’t enforce rules so not unexpected.