AIBU to just let DD go to school with earrings in.

[PinkChaires]

School starts tomorrow and DD is saying that she will go to school her earrings in (not allowed). Now i dont agree that earrings shouldnt be allowed however they are the school rules. Ive said to her health and safety but she says that 1) my earrings are small and screw on- there is no chance of them falling off or getting caught on something. Tbh shes right- shes worn these earring from nursery right through primary school and there has never been an issue. 2) if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. Shes right on this to- in events and parents evenings ive seen the teachers wear earrings/jewellery. Shes gotten phone calls home about this and got shouted at by the school but she says to me ' its a bit hard to take them seriously about the danger of earrings when they have like 5 earrings as well'. I cant get hett up about her wearing the earrings to school. Shes doing amazing in all other areas of school so far and this seems like a pointless rule
AIBU?

if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings

This is a daft argument. Teachers and other school staff generally do not

-Take part in PE

• Take part in extra-curricular sport
• Do Dance or Drama which can also be very physical
• Need adult help if they get their hair tangled around an earring, lose an earring, or their earrings gets caught on something resulting in injury.

-Fight with each other (play fighting or actual fighting, which can happen on occasion) -Get their parents to call up and complain if they lose something valuable like jewellery at school

• Wear a uniform and therefore have to comply with the school uniform policy

If your DD can't accept that rules are different for children than they are for adult staff members then secondary school is going to be tough for her, and for you. I wouldn't be getting into protracted negotiations about this to be honest.

Ok, I don't know what went wrong with the formatting on my post but you get my point!

Where I went to school, the rules were that it was plain studs only, one piercing per ear & they should be removed for PE.
If the pupil refused to remove them for PE then it was not the school's responsibility if something happened...

Trust me, ive explained this all to her. Shes agreed that if teachers tell her to take it out, she will take it out with no argument and will accept any punishments. To PPs saying that i should take them out, i cannot do that unless I actually rip them out, shes 15

It’s the schools rule, if you don’t like it, send her to another school.

It’s all very well saying let the school deal with it, but so much time is wasted on this sort of thing. A teacher may only spend a minute in conversation with your daughter about this, but multiply that with however many other kids they have to talk to about earrings or the wrong shoes or other incorrect uniform and that time soon adds up. It’s really fucking annoying for teachers who have to enforce the rules and for kids that just want to learn. Tell her to grow the fuck up and abide by the rules. It’s your job as parent, stop wasting the schools time. She really doesn’t need her ears to ‘look pretty’ for school, and the excuse of the deceased grandmother, I’ve heard it all now....the teachers eyes will just be rolling back in heir heads so far if she uses that one. Ridiculous.

Forgot to add she removes them for pe

Problem is, if they make her take them off and put them in the “confiscated” bucket, there’s a good chance they’ll get lost for good. If she must wear earrings, can she not wear some that she cares less about?

I find parents with this kind of argument so boring. Take the earrings out and care about something that matters.

It's easy to see why workplaces have trouble getting young people to do as they're asked snd why they argue the toss over everything.
For god's sake just do as they're asked.

Don't you have any authority over your fifteen year old daughter? When I was a teenager I still had to do as my parents said.
Why does she think she is so special that rules don't apply to her?

Sadly many rules are in place for a good reason .Small studs may appear harmless but children are often fiddling with earrings ,running around during breaks and so on .Teachers are responsible for themselves.They dont really want to be fussing over Susies lost gold stud!

Yes. They’re often passionate about this sort of shit, but don’t have a clue what book their child is studying in English lit. That’s the schools job...innit. 😏

You can't rip them out of her ears but you can create consequences if she won't take them out.

She probably thinks she's being really grown up and cool but actually she's being a massive entitled baby. No one can even see if she's wearing them if she hides them in her hair so what's the point? Also, if she's taken them out for PE she's running the risk of losing them, which if they mean so much to her seems like a stupid thing to do. She would be so upset if they got lost or someone nicked them.

If she wants to react like a grown up then she could start a petition or campaign to change the rules? Much more adult to instigate change than act like the rules don't belong to her.

Wow - why give already overstretched teachers more to deal with as you can’t be bothered to deal with at home.

you have overwhelmingly been told you are unreasonable but sticking with your original plan.

If your daughter had an accident at school and her ear lobe was torn, would you also be the parent kicking off because the school were administering their own uniform policy adequately?

I think teachers can wear earrings because they’re adults and don’t have to take part in PE and aren’t likely to get into any scuffle or cat fight with their peers. Not saying your daughter would either, but some children do and the rule is there to protect everyone and should be applied as such.

Gracious me the hyperbole on here. She is pushing boundaries, thankfully it is over something fairly inconsequential.

OP She knows the consequences, she is old enough to deal with them and to learn from what she does.

@notonur you realise it's not the classroom teachers that make the rules but the management.

If we see another member of staff not following the schools policy on uniform or other behaviour we are told to pull each other up on it. If a student from my form goes to 1st period with incorrect uniform it's highly likely my line manager will be notified and 'have a word' with me. Its ridiculous but this is the world we live in, although I'm leaving the profession in January so it won't be my issue much longer.

*weren’t adequately administering

I'm surprised by the number of people suggesting that you should blindly follow all rules.

I'd rather my children think critically. I wouldn't follow a rule that was without justification, and I wouldn't expect them to either.

No, she chose to wear them knowing the risks

15 year old girls do not run around at break and at 15 she probably should be past the fiddling stage.

I’m with your daughter and I’m a teacher. I hate pointless rules like this. I want children to respect each other and staff, to work hard, to attend as much as they can and to make use of the opportunities in school. I would abolish school uniform and most of the rules that go with it (except for where something is unsafe) Most teachers and parents love the uniform rules though.

When I start fighting with my colleagues over a man or because I've been given a dirty look across the hall during assembly, playing netball and generally behaving like a teenage girl, then I'll take my earrings out. But until then, I'll be telling the kids to take theirs out.

But would you just break the rule (while slyly trying to hide the fact that you were doing so)? Or would you campaign to change it and engage on a more mature level?

Yuk, ears pierced while in nursery..
And even if they are studs, they can be pulled out as a result of bullying or hatd play, any number of things.
Teachers are a) grown ups and make their own choices b) not likely to be a situation where they may be pulled out
You clearly don't think rules apply to you and are passing this attitude to your daughter. Charming