AIBU to just let DD go to school with earrings in.

[PinkChaires]

School starts tomorrow and DD is saying that she will go to school her earrings in (not allowed). Now i dont agree that earrings shouldnt be allowed however they are the school rules. Ive said to her health and safety but she says that 1) my earrings are small and screw on- there is no chance of them falling off or getting caught on something. Tbh shes right- shes worn these earring from nursery right through primary school and there has never been an issue. 2) if its health and safety concerns why are the teachers wearing earrings. Shes right on this to- in events and parents evenings ive seen the teachers wear earrings/jewellery. Shes gotten phone calls home about this and got shouted at by the school but she says to me ' its a bit hard to take them seriously about the danger of earrings when they have like 5 earrings as well'. I cant get hett up about her wearing the earrings to school. Shes doing amazing in all other areas of school so far and this seems like a pointless rule
AIBU?

It’s a stupid rule but if she’s been wearing earrings since she was little, as you say she has, she should be able to take them out for the duration of a school day and put them back in when she gets home with no problem at all, so it’s a non-issue for her not to wear them at school and you’re being ridiculous about it.

They are stud earrings and were given by deceased grandmother and are considered her 'lucky earrings'...

She's likely to find out they're not as lucky as she'd hoped.

YABU. It doesn’t matter whether you agree with the rule or not - you follow it because that’s part of life.

You shouldn’t be encouraging this in your daughter - it’s not a nice trait at all.

She’d be in lunchtime detention every day that she wore them at our school. But if she’d rather do that than remove them for a few hours, so be it, her loss!

Let her wear them if she wants. If her school is like my DD's the first couple of times she gets caught she'll only lose them until the end of the day. If she's lucky it won't be until maybe the third or fourth time that that they then decide that they'll confiscate them until the end of term.
You might not agree with the rules but you should have known about them when you chose the school. She needs to learn that she can't ignore school rules just because she doesn't agree with them.

If she is going into year 10 then she is old enough to deal with any consequences. However you need to support any school decisions however much you disagree.

Teachers and students are not the same. Of course a teacher has different rules to students.

It’s a rule, tough, tell her to deal with it. There will be lots of rules in life which may not be fair or logical but she will need to follow them so get her to grow up.

Honestly if it were up to me the earrings would be out. However i think its good for her to learn the consequences of her actions and will be backing school if she gets in trouble

At my daughters' school ( 3 years ago) it would have meant a uniform demerit. 3 in a week and you got detention. 10 in a year and you didn't get an invitation to prom.

Very few rule breakers.

Just take them out, it's saves hassle when someone loses an earring, it gets stuck, gets caught during PE or tech, they have a fight etc etc. Tomorrow pastoral staff will be busy dealing with abuse disclosures that always increases on the return to school, making sure girls have access to sanitary products, making sure children with families who haven't eaten properly all summer get food and support. Don't waste their time having to deal with uniform issues.

Lots of jobs have dress codes that you have to abide by, for teachers in most schools they can't wear jeans on a normal school day or have tattoos showing. In food prep you can't have false nails.

Also having a negative experience in the morning with her form teacher and other staff members and kicking off about her earrings isn't going to do her frame of mind any good for later in the day, she'll be negative and her education will suffer.

What I really hate are rules that aren't actually enforced. If most girls wear them then yes- it's a stupid rule.

Having said that, if they are special, she might lose them when she's caught and has to remove them, which would be totally her fault. It's not a risk I'd want to take and I'd drum that into her.

When pupils ask me why I can wear earrings and my own clothes, I tell them that their school is my place of work and that I followed my own schools' uniform rules for 12 years.
Agree with a pp that having something harmless to rail against is actually good for kids.

Having seen they are lucky earings from a much loved grandmother, I wouldnt let her take them in. If she is asked to remove them, they could very easily get lost. Especially if they are put in some communal tub of removed items.

Are they just plain gold studs, I thought screw on earrings were quite a modern thing I didnt realise that they had been around when her grandmother would have worn them, which Im assuming is many years ago but perhaps not

I dont really like uniform rules but equally if you dont like the rules of a certain school then change school, or home educate. You signed up to accepting the school rules when you signed her up at the school so you have to accept it

Just so long as you realise that it can be upsetting for other students who are fully uniform compliant to have a peer "shouted at". It's exhausting for everyone.

I also think the punishments at this school arent strong enough which is why they deal with this problem- i know that she definitely wouldnt get detention nor get them confiscated. At the worst it was a shouting - a mild one at that- and a phone call home. She was apparently wearing them for months (unknown to me) so she didnt lose them.

the teachers don't tend to get into fights or get their earrings caught during PE.

I didn't get into a single fight at school. Neither did any of my friends. As for PE, we just took them out and put them back in afterwards.

I think these rules are silly but if it were up to me, teenagers would be allowed to play around with their style. They have the rest of their lives to dress to rules if they choose to go into a profession that requires it.

We all have to live with rules, including those we don't like. You are the parent and so you need to support the school and make it clear that the rules must be followed.

OK, that's a little different. In that case I would be clear with everyone involved that's what you're doing so school don't feel they are going to be asked to serially fight your battles.

Also totally agree that the teachers should have to follow the same rules, setting a good example and all that

Don't be daft. Staff are not students.

Adults don’t have to follow the same rules as children. ‘Twas always thus.

In the same way teachers don’t have to wear a specific uniform and can dye their hair unnatural shades, they can wear jewellery. Teachers don’t tend to get into fights or competitive one-upmanship i.e. my earrings are bigger, brighter, more offensive than yours etc. They are adults and have more autonomy. Having said that schools do hold teachers to certain standards i.e. no visible tattoos, no political pin badges, always wear your lanyard etc.

Teachers tend not to moan that those in other professions can show tattoos and they cannot. They recognise they are in a school environment where certain standards are expected.

As a child, your daughter needs to follow the standards expected of her.

Although I dont agree she should wear them, I do find it a bit galling when teachers go on about how much time and admin this all takes up to enforce this and that

Fine, then dont have stupid rules about tiny little earrings then you wont have to spend time dealing with it, or just dont enforce it.

Same with length of skirts, the odd bit of colour on an all black shoe, tie done up the wrong way. If these petty rules were not in place then teachers wouldnt need to deal with all that.

But as I say,, for parents who have signed up to it, thats what you have signed up for

We're in exactly the same situation and will be taking out my daughters earrings during the school day. There's no way we're going to break the rules on day one! Don't want my daughter or me as a parent to be identified as trouble makers so early on. It's a silly rule in my opinion but it's a rule nonetheless and pupils should follow the school rules. It would be anarchy if the kids chose to disobey all the rules they didn't agree with.

Nope. So don't add to the list of 'rule breakers' by adding pupils on for wearing a simple, plain set of studs ffs