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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think i'm not being rude to go to bed at 3am

252 replies

Bluemonkey18 · 04/09/2022 03:20

So I'm spending the weekend at my DP's house, we were all up late talking in the kitchen. DP was having a conversation with their DM at the table whilst I was on the sofa on my phone feeling pretty tired. I then got up and went to give DP a goodnight kiss and said I was going to bed. (At 3am)

DP comes to bed 10 minutes later saying that it was rude of me to just come to bed and said that their DM thought so too. DP said that I should be expected to stay up until whatever time they decide to go to bed, as it's 'rude to just take yourself off to bed'.

AIBU to think that I am not being rude and that actually to keep someone up until you're all ready for bed is in itself rude and strange behaviour?

OP posts:
Mammabii · 08/09/2022 09:36

Honestly, to me it sounds like they expected the op to simply be present and sit there listening to them talk about themselves until they were ready to go to bed, as if they're holding court. Seems like a family that's full of themselves. I'd not stay over again. I'm speaking from experience btw, this is exactly how my husband's family acts. I got told I was rude for not sitting with them until 3am while they drank and talked about themselves even when I had a newborn baby to take care of. Needless to say, I stopped visiting.

Mammabii · 08/09/2022 09:50

damnyourdogs · 04/09/2022 11:42

I had this bollocks on the one (and after this, the only) weekend away I stupidly had with the parents in law (been dating a year at this point).

We'd been out for a meal with the extended family, hadn't got back to where we were staying until midnight....we'd been travelling since 6am that morning, so I was exhausted...I was also not feeling well, had actually wanted to not go on the trip but my partner said that wouldn't go down to well. I went to bed. The rest of the family decide to stay up all night, drinking...my partner didn't get to bed until 9am. He was basically unconscious the whole day. Cue a very boring day for me waiting for him to wake up...I'd also refused to go on the day out with the rest of the family, as the person driving was most certainly still over the legal limit...

Long story short, I ended up in hospital 3 days after we got back, with double pneumonia. Partner still got bollocked by his parents (and we were in our early 40s at the time) because I hadn't stayed up drinking all night...

I'd stop staying there.

You have very similar inlaws. It's boring having to wait for everyone to wake up the next morning when they all sleep until 12! Meanwhile I'm sitting there with my baby for hours waiting and starving, thinking it's probably rude to start making myself breakfast in their kitchen but in the end having no other choice. I stopped visiting too and they got upset by that as well, I just couldn't win, should have been born a robot without basic needs.

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