To still live my best life even though I’m fat

[Whatyagonnadokatie]

Many mnetters hate fat people. They dress it up as concern for health. But I think it’s something deeper than that. Something about us letting ourselves lose self discipline or something. Some people even seem to think that we shouldn’t have nice clothes (let me tell you, no one purposely gains weight to wear some lovely plus size clothes).

reading some threads on here break my heart when women dread going to social events because they are fat.

aibu to say, fuck that, get on with your life and be happy even if you are fat. Wear the nice clothes, go to all the social events. And hey, eat the biscuit if you really want to

exercise only burns a relatively low percentage of calories

Depends on the 'exercise' surely? I see loads of people down the gym bumble about with no real plan on what they are doing while not exactly exerting themselves in which case you are right, they might just burn a few hundred calories. If I spend an hour on the water in my single scull or on the erg I will burn anything between 600-900 calories depending on the prescribed exercise. I think an awful lot of people have no idea what intensive exercise is. Walking down to the shops is better then driving but it is not 'exercise' in a serious sense.

I'm probably wasting my time, as I'm sure your view on this is as intransient as it is simplistic. But here goes.
I was two stone OW for ten years. I ate the recommended calories for a woman (2000 per day) and had an office job that kept me out of the house 12 hours with the commute.
The first lockdown provided me with the 'right conditions' to lose weight.
A sharp reduction in other things to think about and general stress, allowing me the headspace to prioritise health.
Time to research diet and excercise and learn my actual calorie requirement (1600)
Time to excercise and cook well from scratch.
Nothing much else to do but excercise, rather than squeezing it in around other commitments.
More money to buy better food as nothing much else to spend on.
If you have plenty of time, plenty of money and little else to think about, weight loss is a great deal easier, but still no walk in the park.
For people who are extremely busy, stressed, unwell, on a low income or have care responsibilities it's infinitely harder.
Obviously not impossible, but harder than for those with the 'right conditions'.

Oh and just to be clear, no way does every day human activity burn the recommended 2000 daily calories for a 5' 4", 8 stone 10, 53 year old woman. I wish it did.

Time to research diet and excercise and learn my actual calorie requirement (1600)

I think this is crucial, so many people view the generic 'recommended' 2000 calories a day figure as a target rather then figure out what is the correct 'maintenance' intake for them personally.

You honestly think that those of us not obese are the way we are because of the “right conditions”? rather than one or more of the following:- wanting to be slim for aesthetic reasons; wanting to avoid the vulnerability to the many many many illnesses and ailments that being overweight often results in; wanting to set a good example to their children; wanting to be able to move much more freely than obesity allows…. I could go on

Have you heard of a TDEE calculator.

we burn calories just teaching for the pepper.

No.
I was responding to a post saying 'right conditions???' like it was some unfathomable concept.
In the post you've quoted I'm quite clear that the right conditions make it easier, following on from my previous comment that the majority could lose weight given the right conditions.
I've at no point said the right conditions are essential for weight loss. Just that it's harder without them.
I get that it's easier for you to argue against things I haven't said than the reasonable and indisputable things I have said though.

the majority could lose weight given the right conditions.

So to be clear - you think the majority of overweight people are overweight because they are not in the “right” conditions for it? Ie busy, low income etc?

And if they were less busy, higher income etc - the “majority” would lose weight?

I think this convo took a nasty turn and posters were personally attacked for no reason. That said, I think we have lost touch of what a healthy weight looks like.

I am 5"7, 50 and a size 12 ( up from a size 8 in my thirties) and feel unhealthy. I can feel the weight on my knees and back. I know if I don't act now, it will be harder and harder. My GP has the same advice though my BMI is still under 25.

Meanwhile my size 24 friend of around the same height says she is healthy and feels just fine, and is in fact fighting fit. I really can't see how. She says life is too short to watch what you eat, but I think otherwise.

No. I think that the right conditions make it easier to lose weight and the absence of the right conditions make it harder. No more, no less.
I am not every overweight person, so have no idea of their personal and individual challenges.
I spoke for myself in my post, and explained how the right conditions made it sufficiently easy for me to lose weight. There does seem a certain logic in thinking this may apply to other people too.

I have indeed. That's how I know that at my age, height, weight and activity level I only need 1600 calories a day.
Did you think I'd made a lucky guess?

Live life and enjoy yourself. If you get sick, use the NHS - that's what you're paying for if you don't have private healthcare. To hell with what other people think.

And how long did that “research” take you? Five minutes?

What’s wrong with you that you fee the need to behave like this to random strangers on the internet who are making entirely valid points?

You're a funny one aren't you?
I'm low end healthy BMI, after losing weight and sustaining the loss. I ought to be the poster child for someone with your opinions.
Yet when I posted about my experience and what that had led me to conclude about the challenges of losing weight and what made it easier, you take issue with that too, sneering at me for the things I learned that helped me.
Bit of a curve ball when a person who isn't overweight challenges your narrative?

Well you sound pleasant!! What's your problem?
@5128gap You've made a very valid point. There are conditions which make it much easier to lose/maintain weight. When I did shift work including night shifts I put on weight. I was exhausted, I had to drive to work because it was so far, I had no time to meal plan, exercise frequently etc. I just craved starchy, fatty food to keep me going.
Now I work normal office hours, part time. I walk 12000 steps to and from work, I have lots of time to meal plan, go shopping, prepare wholesome foods. I find it MUCH easier to be slim. My BMI is 21 now. I find that lots of nurses are overweight and I'm sure it's because of shift work and working nights etc. It just messes you up! This is just one example of how your living conditions can influence your weight.

This thread is thankfully coming to a close but have you ever heard a slim person saying "Aibu to live my best life even if I'm thin"? And I have lots of female friends and no one has ever showed envy of fat people but the viceversa is very common (fat people saying "I need to lose weight")

So I rest my case

What case? That people don’t want to be fat but would rather be thin?

I’d rather be thin health wise but the style of clothes I like look loads better on people who are bigger. DH always laughs at me because when we go shopping and I find something I like it’s usually in the ‘plus size’ section.

I’d rather be thin health wise but the style of clothes I like look loads better on people who are bigger. DH always laughs at me because when we go shopping and I find something I like it’s usually in the ‘plus size’ section.

Where do you shop and what do you buy? Clothes look shit on me if I go even half a stone over my ideal weight?

I think it’s called lagenlook? My friends wear this sort of style and always look stunning, I just look like everything is hanging off me

Ah I am familiar with lagenlook but it just makes me look bigger.

I know quite a few very wealthy overweight people and there are many normal weight people who are both envious and jealous of them, based on remarks I've overheard.

@PolarPolly27 I wouldn't say I'm "wealthy" but I am a MD in a bank so have no financial issues at all. And I'm slim too...and I prefer to be a decently comfortable slim person to a very fat millionaire

Unfortunately, I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. I don't consider being 'slim' an achievement, merely a description of body shape. Am I supposed to be proud that I'm a size 8? That would make me a very shallow and worthless person and quite frankly, someone I would find rather distasteful.