To still live my best life even though I’m fat

[Whatyagonnadokatie]

Many mnetters hate fat people. They dress it up as concern for health. But I think it’s something deeper than that. Something about us letting ourselves lose self discipline or something. Some people even seem to think that we shouldn’t have nice clothes (let me tell you, no one purposely gains weight to wear some lovely plus size clothes).

reading some threads on here break my heart when women dread going to social events because they are fat.

aibu to say, fuck that, get on with your life and be happy even if you are fat. Wear the nice clothes, go to all the social events. And hey, eat the biscuit if you really want to

My assumption about agenda isn’t based on your shape or weight, but your agenda that being slim doesn’t invite hurtful comments.

I’m glad you haven’t had these comments but they’re not unusual and they are on here. Doesn’t matter whether the people who are making them are half wits or whether they’re making them from a perspective of feeling attacked, they’re there.

@5128gap
There have only been a couple of posts being negative about slim people and to be honest, the ones like the ryvita post could hardly be seen to add anything insightful to the debate. No slim woman is going to be 'hurt' by such nonsense, and I think its unfair to suggest the occasional half wit trying to offend thin people is representative of OW women's attitudes.
Mostly on here I see OW women simply trying to defend themselves from a barrage of criticism, rather than insulting other people

I'm sorry but I totally disagree.
I've been called a bag of bones, skin and bones, an ironing board, not a proper woman, 'eat a burger love,' that I must starve myself and a million other things.

Every single time I have been called those things they are by fat people. Every time.

I have a healthy BMI, I eat in moderation, and my number priority is to have a healthy body. You only get one so I'm not going to abuse it by being fat. There is nothing good about being fat. But the fat people are so quick to label people fatphobic and we hurt their feelings just by merely existing as a skinny person.

Even if it's just a small minority, I won't be going round calling people lard arse, a bag of fat, eat some lettuce etc. works both ways, even if the insulting is not as common on skinny people.

Oh well that's okay then

As mentioned upthread I am hypothyroid. I’ve just started doing the NHS weight loss app. My daily calorie target is 1440 calories. I’ve found myself struggling to reach the target - on an average day, before I started the programme, I was eating around 1200. Yet still overweight. I have lost 3lb since starting the programme and increasing my intake. It is not as simple as eat less move more for some people.

I decided a long time ago that being overweight would not stop me enjoying life. And it hasn’t. Being miserable and isolated drives comfort eating, when I’m busy and happy and active I’ve got no time to stick my head in the fridge.

Last winter’s lockdown was miserable for me and l regained some weight I’d lost, which I am not happy about. Menopause isn’t helping!

Whether someone is fat or slim, you are only looking from the outside in. You don’t know how that person feels, what’s going on in their lives and relationships. There’s no need to judge.

Neither disgust or revulsion

slightly frustrated that contributing using enormously to NHS crisis? Yes

slightly curious re what they eat and level of movement to get to that stage? Yes

Actually I do feel disgust when I see obese parents and also their children overweight.

The parents can do what the heck they like but it’s tantamount to abuse when clearly their atrocious diet is impacting their child

@paq, the harm done by substance misusers are well documented but they are generally treated far more sympathetically than obese people. I agree that we should all try to be active but there are some extreme sports out there with high risks. If someone injures themselves by participating in such extreme sports then they are still self inflicted injuries.

Also, for what it’s worth, I have three grown up children and two of them, thankfully, take after my husband’s side of the family and are extremely slim, if anything struggle to put on weight, but the oldest, who is also disabled, takes after my side of the family and is a stockier build and puts on weight all too easily but tries really hard to keep it off. All of them had as healthy a diet as possible when growing up, with restricted treats. I love them all equally.

What is his disability?

The issue for NHS planning is not a judgement on whether injuries are self inflicted, but what the resource cost to the NHS is. I used to work in n strategic planning for Health and Social Care. And ‘people participating in extreme sports’ did not feature as a concern ( the health benefits of this population way out weighs the injury within this population). The areas of key concern for future pressures included the increasing treatments costs as more and more treatments and drugs are created, improved neo natal care meaning premature babies surviving with incurable and severe disabilities, and type 2 diabetes due to obesity. Oh, and lack of staff across a number of health professions as the ageing workforce retired!

those injured whilst engaging in extreme sports. I would love to see a stat showing their contribution to the NHS crisis. Preferably next to the stat showing the contribution of obesity to the NHS crisis!!

The areas of key concern for future pressures included the increasing treatments costs as more and more treatments and drugs are created,

Thats pretty depressing given a lot of these chronic Illnesses are caused by poor lifestyle. But, here we are in the ‘pop a pill’ culture, lead by the NHS itself.

The people who say those things to you are nasty. That’s the crux of it. I would never “slimshame” anyone.

my post is about women going on with their lives in spite of being fat. I’m not encouraging anyone to sit and eat donuts all day or put on weight. But I encourage other fat women to get out and about and not let their size stop them living their lives.

and within the first page the “health concerns” dripping with disdain popped up. Just as I predicted

And yes, there are really some people who are fat because of a health condition... I have a friend who due to a congenital condition is obese.

but I appreciate he is in the minority

@Violinist64 my perception is different to yours. I think people who abuse alcohol or drugs are vilified much more than people who are overweight. Particularly as their associated behaviour is so harmful.

We have "drink responsibly" warnings on alcohol ads and age limits for buying alcohol yet food companies are allowed to market fruit shoots to parents and kids, Coca Cola sponsors sports teams and events, and refined sugar is packed into baby foods.

Really, we don't stand a chance against them.

life is too short as it is

• *If your too overweight it's going to be shorter

I say this as someone who's 18st

Speak for yourself when you say “we don’t stand a chance against them”

Quite clearly many including myself and friends and children do ”stand a chance”

why? Because we know that excessive coke and crisps and sugar etc is NOT on any level good for you.

it’s not exactly a secret is it?

Exactly

how many elderly people do you see that are obese?

visiting my grandmother in her old people’s home…. No one was even remotely obese

the obese ones had popped their clogs long ago

I feel absolutely no revulsion or disgust at obese people

my revulsion and disgust is at the catalogue of excuses that are often spouted

@Doingprettywellthanks not everyone wants to live that long. I don't, there's a massive history of dementia and I would rather go quickly

But my mum died 72 with dementia (no weight related issues) at a size 24 for most of her life. My grandad was a wrestler who then went to more obesity after retirement. Died at 83 with leukaemia
My uncle was a heavyweight boxer, now still massive but definitely over healthy BMI. 71 and teaching boxing still
Cousins grandad and grandmother are both overweight, age 94 and 95. I found him clearing plates in a pub the other month
I mean with that history, I was never going to be a ballerina... do what I can with exercise and food

So just to be clear

obesity is a neat way to avoid old age?

I mean with that history, I was never going to be a ballerina... do what I can with exercise and food

oh enough with the excuses

Don’t you feel embarrassed blaming the fact your cousin’s grandparents were obese for the fact you’re obese?

i mean seriously. Please tell me that you don’t spout this nonsense to your children this giving them carte Blanche to also stuff their faces because… what’s the point when our “history” destines us to obesity 🙄

My mother was obese when she died aged 93. I think it was medication related. She was never a slim woman but she ballooned when she developed dementia.