To still live my best life even though I’m fat

[Whatyagonnadokatie]

Many mnetters hate fat people. They dress it up as concern for health. But I think it’s something deeper than that. Something about us letting ourselves lose self discipline or something. Some people even seem to think that we shouldn’t have nice clothes (let me tell you, no one purposely gains weight to wear some lovely plus size clothes).

reading some threads on here break my heart when women dread going to social events because they are fat.

aibu to say, fuck that, get on with your life and be happy even if you are fat. Wear the nice clothes, go to all the social events. And hey, eat the biscuit if you really want to

I'm not talking about hating, I'm talking about constant comments and getting accused of gloating if you ever dare to say something like "I couldn't find any jeans that fit properly at the shopping centre this week".

When personal responsibility, choices and lifestyle are talked about, around being overweight, it's like there's no outside factors affecting these things at all, like the only priority should be to not being fat, and anything else is an excuse.
There's lifestyle's that aren't necessarily of someone's choosing that make it harder to be as healthy as you otherwise would be without that lifestyle - shift working and especially night shifts are known to increase risk factors for things like diabetes, cancer and obesity ( www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/shift-work) - I didn't choose shift work because I thought I quite fancied a bit of that, I did it initially through necessity around other factors in my life and no, I didn't pay that much attention to my health because my priority was keeping a roof over our heads and keeping all the plates spinning. I ate the wrong things, went hours with nothing to eat and often to drink because of the demands of the job and ended up eating quick and easy convenience food that is shit for you because sleeping to go back and do it all again the next day was my priority.
I put weight on steadily over about 10 years of permanent nights, which are the shittiest end of the shift working stick, I didn't have the energy nor will to address the issues quite frankly. The weight is coming off, slowly now I no longer work nights, everything is better, I eat better, I am more hydrated, I exercise more, my mental health is much better.
Everyone wants hospitals, care homes and the like staffed 24/7 but will then be scathing and tell you all about your excuses when you try to talk about stuff like this.
Is it impossible to do? No, it's not but if you have other, more pressing priorities in your life going on, self care drops further and further down the list.
I talked about this a couple of years ago and the responses (likely from people who had only ever worked Mon to Fri, 9-5) were bitchy, sarcastic, and downright nasty.
I'm not saying they're the absolute reason for me being overweight, but as the changes that I have experienced since changing one thing, working through the night, it was definitely a contributing factor.

Snap. I've gained a lot of weight due to health issues over the last couple of years. I don't let it stop me doing anything. I still go out with friends, went on holiday and wore a bikini etc. But I see photos of myself and I cringe. I HATE how I look and have to constantly resist the temptation to hide away. I'm very envious of those who are happy with themselves regardless of size!

To goat - same as you always been slim assumed I still was until a medical gave my bmi as 27. Brought me up short! Late 40s so knew if I didn’t act I would just get larger year on year. Bmi 23 now so not thin but in healthy zone and do feel better. Was a 12/14 now a 10/12. Lost 2 stone was a noticeable change. Have had to keep the new lifestyle though!

I have an under active thyroid and underweight!

if you are on the correct dose of levo it is an exact replica of the missing hormone and absolutely should normalise your metabolism

@Whatyagonnadokatie

I'm not bitter at all, why would I have any reason to be bitter, I'm not overweight.

What I do get a be in my bonnet about, is fat people lashing out at skinnier people making digs about us crying into ryvitas, being cold this winter, and our husbands cheating on us while we cry into our food. All been mentioned in this thread) I see you haven't mentioned those people be bitter about skinny people.

If someone said:
Fat people only eat kebabs all the time crying into their box of grease, you'll be warm this winter with your added layer and your partner cheats on you with someone slimmer, would you not feel a bit pissed off?

If that makes me bitter then I'll take it. Love yourself, fine. But don't project insecurities onto thinner people.

@hittheroadjackk honestly when I read large people making dogs at slim people I think it's envy. I absolutely love my body (I'm 50 now so not as slim as in the past, size 8, used to be size 6). So let them make digs. And no I'm never cold and I eat everything just in moderation (but 20 biscuits? No thanks):

This is what HAES was always supposed to be about. Making positive choices for your health regardless of your weight/size, rather than dissolving into self-flagellation and thinking it's pointless to make small positive changes because of the self-hatred that is often beaten into people who are bigger. Sadly it's evolved into something very different, but I agree with you. Live your life in the body you've got. If you're happy with it, brilliant, doesn't matter what others think. If you're not, brilliant, do something about it, there's all the help in the world out there to change. It breaks my heart when I see mums at toddler swimming who won't get in the water and who send their partners in because they feel too self conscious about being obese.

What's interesting is the opening line of the OP is that MN hates fat people. Any vitriol goes both ways, but it's acceptable to snipe at the slim but yOu hUrT MY fEeLiNgZ if it's the other way around.

You can't go around bleating #bekind when it comes to your own triggers and insecurities, but still dish it out with gusto.

There have only been a couple of posts being negative about slim people and to be honest, the ones like the ryvita post could hardly be seen to add anything insightful to the debate. No slim woman is going to be 'hurt' by such nonsense, and I think its unfair to suggest the occasional half wit trying to offend thin people is representative of OW women's attitudes.
Mostly on here I see OW women simply trying to defend themselves from a barrage of criticism, rather than insulting other people.

My GP says it is normal according to the numbers and that is all they go by.

We all know that everyone’s body reacts differently to medications and, indeed, the need for medication in the first place. Many of us have other medications and conditions that can also affect our weight and most of us do not lose weight easily with Thyroxine. When reviewing my repeat prescriptions, a pharmacist said that weight control can be a problem with the need for Thyroxine. If you are underweight, perhaps you need a blood test to check that your body has not gone into Overactive Thyroid mode and that you do not need to reduce the dose,

Honestly I don’t think being fat is something to be embraced.

It is bad for the environment (all that additional food produced and eaten), extremely bad for the NHS, and not nice for people on planes, etc. to have to sit next to someone who takes up far too much room. It also just doesn’t look very nice, frankly.

And don’t get me started on the COVID lockdowns - if everyone in the country were a healthy weight I think it very unlikely that they would have been needed. Just look at the percentages of people in ICU who were obese.

If you are overweight, I think you should be doing everything you can to change that; not “celebrating” it and “living your best life”.

I don't think they are because 1) No one gives a shit. 2) The average person is also fat and has bigger things to worry about.

@Doingprettywellthanks you are unusual if you are underweight with an UT. Weight gain is the first thing most people notice.

Also there are two thyroid hormones, T4 (thyroxine) and T3 (Triiodothyronine). T3 plays an important role in metabolism. People with UT are treated with T4 only. UK GPS are not allowed to prescribe T3 so T3 levels are not tested.

Really? Most of my life I’ve been criticised by people under the guise of humour for being slim, accused of having an eating disorder, implied that I’m not a real woman, that I’m skin and bones, told I need to eat more pies, that I only eat twigs and shrubs. As I got older and put on weight so changed my eating habits to manage this, a friend told me that she refuses to speak to me about it because by me taking control of my own weight I must be implying that she is fat (I’ve literally never even thought that let alone commented about it).

Yes it’s hurtful and you don’t get to dismiss that out of hand because it doesn’t fit within your agenda.

I'm under 9 stone at 5' 4", so I don't have the agenda you're assuming.
I'm sorry that you've had those experiences. Mine couldn't be more different. At a size 6/8 I recieve nothing but compliments from women and men. I am praised and admired and asked for advice on how I've done it. I'm told I've taken 10 years off my appearance, called 'beautiful' and 'perfect'. (All of which says a lot more about attitudes to weight than it does about my appearance) The 'worst' thing I've seen is the odd comment on here, but balanced against the overwhelming positivity its water off a ducks back.
I was also specifically referencing the nonsense about ryvita, which is so bizarre I'm surprised anyone would find it hurtful. I can see how the comments you describe when directed at you personally would be hurtful, but that hasnt been the case on this thread.

Unusual on mumsnet threads about obesity, agreed.

unusual in RL that correct doseage of levo does not restore metabolism and weight does not stabilise / any weight gain before correct dosage is not lost and continues to result in excessive weight gain? No

I don't see anyone here embracing or celebrating being fat. All we are trying to say is that we are doing the best we can with what we are have and are. We realise that our very existence must be anathema to you and that we should hide out of sight so that we cannot offend your delicate sensibilities. What l find offensive is your blanket statement that larger people eat more than others and cause problems for the environment because more food has to be produced because of it - nothing to do with the rise in the global population. The old chestnut of the cost to the NHS is also brought out - fat people are not the only drain on the NHS; indeed many keep well clear of doctor

Posted too soon, sorry. Many overweight people keep well away from doctors' surgeries as they are terrified of their weight being brought in to everything from tonsillitis to tennis elbow. Smokers, alcoholics, drug abusers and, yes, sporting injuries are equally "self-inflicted" but do not come in for the same amount of shaming.

We all know that obesity was a major factor in covid but it certainly was not the only one and lockdowns happened all over the world whether or not there were major problems with obesity in their respective countries.

And don’t get me started on the COVID lockdowns - if everyone in the country were a healthy weight I think it very unlikely that they would have been needed. Just look at the percentages of people in ICU who were obese.

could you link to some figures please? My impression was that most of the people in ICU were unvaccinated, who may or may not be obese.

Smokers, alcoholics, drug abusers and, yes, sporting injuries are equally "self-inflicted" but do not come in for the same amount of shaming.

That's quite a reach, the harm done by substance misuse is well documented and discussed. I don't think shaming specific individuals is ever helpful. Sports injuries are part of the risk of taking part in sport but pale into comparison with the benefits of activity.

In RL the only people I see shaming fat women are men. Men who like to shout abuse and ‘jokes’ at fat women for being fat.

I totally agree. The large people are quick to make digs but when we call it out or do it back were fatphobic. Funny how there's no such thing as 'skinnyphobic'

“Skinnyphobic” comments are rooted in envy. “Fatphobic” comments are rooted in disgust and revulsion.