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AIBU?

To still live my best life even though I’m fat

403 replies

Whatyagonnadokatie · 03/09/2022 22:26

Many mnetters hate fat people. They dress it up as concern for health. But I think it’s something deeper than that. Something about us letting ourselves lose self discipline or something. Some people even seem to think that we shouldn’t have nice clothes (let me tell you, no one purposely gains weight to wear some lovely plus size clothes).

reading some threads on here break my heart when women dread going to social events because they are fat.

aibu to say, fuck that, get on with your life and be happy even if you are fat. Wear the nice clothes, go to all the social events. And hey, eat the biscuit if you really want to

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

781 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
21%
You are NOT being unreasonable
79%
Tabbouleh · 03/09/2022 22:31

Obviously you should dress in sackcloth and ashes and never leave the house, while flagellating yourself with a stick of celery. No biscuits ever!

Did you expect anyone to say YABU? But more importantly why do you care what internet randoms think? Live your life as you please.

Undermearmour · 03/09/2022 22:32

I hear you on the MN hatred of fat people.

I used to work with someone like this IRL. I was convinced she was afraid of 'catching fatness' by being in the same office as fat people.

Regardless of what you choose to do about losing weight, you still need to live while being fat. Would people prefer fat people to walk around naked all day instead of plus size clothes existing? Perhaps MN could follow fat people around with a bell shouting 'Shame!'.

Afterfire · 03/09/2022 22:33

I’m with you.

(Passes biscuit tin and takes 20).

MaybeIWillFuckOffThen · 03/09/2022 22:34

Go for it. The health thing is spurious. You're a long time dead. If you can be happy, at any size, you should go ahead and do it.

Whatyagonnadokatie · 03/09/2022 22:35

@Tabbouleh there will defo be some Yabu. Just Mark my words. They think we should sit at home feeling shitty about ourselves

OP posts:
KiraKiraHikaru · 03/09/2022 22:36

I’m trying to do this! So much of my life is going by because I’m scared to be fat in public. I won’t go and do any fun things and I won’t be in photos with my children. I’ve never taken them to the beach or swimming. I’m trying to start living my life but it’s so hard.

ILoveaSunflower · 03/09/2022 22:36

Someone just wrote on one of the energy crisis threads that energy poverty will increase obesity which will increase the burden on the nation and therefore be directly responsible for everyone else being poor!
MN loves blaming fat people for everything wrong with the world. It makes my blood boil as it's utter bullshit

Whatyagonnadokatie · 03/09/2022 22:38

@KiraKiraHikaru life is short enough. So is your kids childhood. Get out there and live.

OP posts:
Tabbouleh · 03/09/2022 22:38

Ok. If you say so. I was out all day today and saw women of all sizes enjoying the sunshine, wearing nice clothes.

AppleKatie · 03/09/2022 22:39

I think I’m missing the bit of my brain that feels the shame at being fat.

whilst not good for my waist line it is excellent for my social life.

Go out, live and have fun.

Whatyagonnadokatie · 03/09/2022 22:40

@Tabbouleh in the real world this happens. But mn is generally poisonous to the obese. And it makes me sad that those bitchy mean girls make other women just want to stay at home for fear of being judged

OP posts:
pd339 · 03/09/2022 22:51

I'm not convinced there's a hatred of fat people. More a tendency to roll your eyes at the excuses people make up for not being able to lose weight. If you want to be fat, fine. But don't blame slow metabolism / thyroid or whatever. For most people that's total BS.

Whatyagonnadokatie · 03/09/2022 22:53

@pd339 im fat because I eat too much. And I enjoyed every last single bite

OP posts:
AKnitterofThings · 03/09/2022 22:53

I always feel that I am being judged. I make jokes about my fatness to people, but deep down I feel such shame. I know if I eat in public people are looking and muttering. I wish I could find the confidence to just live my life, but I am so ashamed of myself and hate that I have got so fat.

Crocwok · 03/09/2022 22:55

Of course everyone should feel great in their own skin. Carrying excess weight does affect someone's health though, same as being underweight, so I'm not sure all of the concern is distain dressed up.

blockpavingismynightmare · 03/09/2022 22:57

As someone who is not fat but could always do with losing a few pounds and toning up, the only thing i think when I see someone who is obese is that they are damaging their health.
I do not hate fat people. It's wrong to say that just because you consider yourself to be so.

TheresABearOverThere · 03/09/2022 22:58

I'm a fat bastard and a thousand times happier than when I was skinny with an eating disorder.

GetOffTheRoof · 03/09/2022 22:58

Definitely.

I have friends who are sizes 10 and 14 who won't take their children swimming because they are "too embarrassed" to be seen in a swimsuit in public.

I'm a 22 these days, and say fuck it - get in the damn pool. No one looks back at 85 and wishes they hadn't swum with their children because of imaginary or real cellulite or flabby bits.

I also do Pilates and a dancercise class. The weight comes off slowly for many reasons, but I'm buggered if I'm missing out on life because I'm a fatty.

Lots of people teach their kids to be ashamed of their bodies without meaning to. Even skinny people jiggle FFS.

dottiedodah · 03/09/2022 22:59

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RaRaRaspoutine · 03/09/2022 23:01

YANBU! I’m fat through a combo of medication and loving to cook, and I’m at peace with myself. I’m always dressed up, wear makeup all the time and style my hair, but more importantly I have fun, enjoy making people laugh, and am good at being a listening ear. Do what’s best for your health - mental and physical.

ChocBanana · 03/09/2022 23:03

My husband is, for want of a better word, extremely fat. He’s had various health issues that have made it worse and his self esteem is really low despite my best efforts.
Someone gave us a family photo session as a 50th birthday present two years ago, and we haven’t used it yet. He has absolutely refused to have it taken because he thinks he looks ugly and is ashamed of himself.
It’s due to expire so I booked it for next weekend, and have persuaded him to come but he was reluctant and insisting he will come and watch but not appear in the photo.
One of his health issues could be life limiting and without saying it in so many words, I want the kids to have one decent photo with him while they still can.
Today I found a new shop in town called Bad Rhino that only caters for larger people. We went in and he was treated with kindness and respect, and the assistant helped him choose a really smart shirt and trousers that will be perfect.
He came out feeling on top of the world that someone hadn’t judged him. It’s an utterly depressing situation to be in if you have others trying to dictate your life.

So, good on you for living your best, ignore the haters, they aren’t worth the energy.

squashandrun · 03/09/2022 23:07

My mum massively struggled with eating in front of other people, put herself down a lot, was constantly on a diet and said she wasn't going to date post-divorce until she'd lost at least 3st. She died 3 years ago at 59. I always thought (and still do) that she was so beautiful and had so much going for her. I'm about the same size she was now and I'm not going to continue putting my life on hold until I've lost a certain amount of weight. I got there, hated it, promptly put 20 pounds back on and am very happy doing all the things I missed out on for years!

userxx · 03/09/2022 23:23

squashandrun · 03/09/2022 23:07

My mum massively struggled with eating in front of other people, put herself down a lot, was constantly on a diet and said she wasn't going to date post-divorce until she'd lost at least 3st. She died 3 years ago at 59. I always thought (and still do) that she was so beautiful and had so much going for her. I'm about the same size she was now and I'm not going to continue putting my life on hold until I've lost a certain amount of weight. I got there, hated it, promptly put 20 pounds back on and am very happy doing all the things I missed out on for years!

God, that's so sad. I'm guilty of doing it myself to be honest, making my world smaller because of how I see myself. It's madness when you say it out loud.

HappyNumberEight · 03/09/2022 23:38

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Well that didn’t take long did it?

”Don’t be judgemental about people’s shape, unless those people are slim, in which case just go for it.”

squashandrun · 03/09/2022 23:39

userxx · 03/09/2022 23:23

God, that's so sad. I'm guilty of doing it myself to be honest, making my world smaller because of how I see myself. It's madness when you say it out loud.

Isn't it? It made me sad even typing it out but I really wanted to make a point so other people don't end up doing the same. It just seems like such a waste to spend our lives trying to change the way we look so we feel like we "deserve" nice things.

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