OTT Preparations for sending DC to university?

[sheepdogdelight]

I'm on WIWIKAU and am finding the level of preparation that some parents are making for their children going to university to be - a lot ...

When I went to university, my parents dropped me off at the station and I had a rucksack and 2 suitcases as that was all I could carry. I took basically clothes, books and a few kitchen basics that I'd bought from a charity shop. My parents bought me nothing.

By contrast it seems that everyone in WIWIKAU is buying up new sets of bedding, kitchen stuff, piles of stationary, random things that might be useful - it's all paid for and in most cases organised by parents.

I accept that my parents were at the "uninvolved" end of the parental spectrum, but is the WIWIKAU type parent the norm these days? Seems a bit OTT?

What is WIWIKAU and is it pronounced wee wee cow?

It's completely normal to send your child to uni with bedding and kitchen stuff, yes. That's hardly over the top.

I’m with you! My mum didn’t get me anything at all -and I didn’t expect her to.

Why would parents buying bedding and kitchen stuff be over the top?

When did you go to uni?

Currently young adults attending uni spend the the vast majority of their loan on their accommodation. Even when I went I was -£7 each week after paying for halls.

Your parents bought you nothing and didn’t drop you to university, fine if you are happy with that but it doesn’t make you a better person and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with driving your kid to halls and chucking in a new duvet.

I enjoyed our trips to IKEA with my two (and the meatballs)to kit them out for uni. I got nothing from my parents but did get full grant.

I went to University in 1989, and my parents bought me everything I would need. I think it's normal for engaged parents to buy what is needed but some will go more overboard than others and they are the ones likely to take about it on social media.

What I Wish I Knew About University - website and very active FB page.

I had to mute it. DS is going with the minimum. I looked at their packing list and have actually got about half of it.

I was given a lift to uni but wasn't allowed to take anything bedding/kitchen wise from home because it "wasn't mine" - I may have overcompensated due to this slight from 30 years ago

Some people really do go over the top.

OK, my DC seemed to pack extremely light - all fitted easily into the car boot

Someone else arriving at the same time came in a minivan that was absolutely packed with stuff. I was left wondering how they would be fitting it all into their room and allocated kitchen space

In 1992 my parents bought me kitchen stuff and bedding, it wasn't unusual nor was been driven there.

My children have needed monitors etc. so have been driven, not easy to manage on a train. There's a bigger expectation of online learning now and screen space is useful.

My daughter went 8 years ago. I bought her a new duvet , bedding. Mainly because all her stuff was for double bed and uni had a single and l think that was it. She took kitchen stuff, towels and her lamp from home. I also stocked her up on basic cupboard stuff, pasta, tins, ect. All in all cost me about £70 from asda
I don't drive but paid 1 one of her friend's petrol money to take her and gave them money for a night out.

Nothing beats the Americans 😬

Dorm rooms US-style

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0jmPVeR4tFa3TKz9Rg6J2emw6vr58Fj9MZUdEXw4YRb22Hd7sF3jVvv923HrrjLvXl&id=1205338175

Literally what I just said in my head 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

I don't get the new bedding thing. I took my duvet from my bed and 2 cover sets. I took some old pans of my mums and a new frying pan. I just took stuff we already had it got stuff from the charity shop.

My mum has just bought my niece all new bedding to leave with next week and I don't get it 🤷🏻‍♀️

WIWIKAU is hilarious and disturbing in equal measure but I think many of the parents posting are at the extremes! Most parents I know (myself included) helped their DC to get together what it was they needed without too much fuss or expense, managed to move them without the need for a mini van and resisted sending chicken breasts through the post (though I admit I sent DC a huge box of assorted biscuits when he and his flat all got Covid the first term they were there).

Th high loft beds are so practical I wish we had them in the UK. The rest is nonsense 😂

That's all well and good but if everything vis taken from home what happens when they're home for months on end?

YANBU OP. I joined that group before DS1 went to uni. The bloody dramatics in the group were ridiculous. I took myself to uni, funded by a mature student grant (I was the grand old age of 21 & it was the good old days of the early 90s when grants were still a thing).

The trauma & angst people were expressing was so extreme that I was caught between leaving with a massive eye roll & fascinated in a WTAF kind of way 😂 And I say this as someone guilty of helicopter parenting a DS with autism!

If it’s at all helpful, from the extensive list of items that they deem “essentials”, the only things DS really needed was:

Bedding & towels & a mattress topper (halls & student accommodation mattresses are 🤢 & not v comfy)
Kitchen utensils & basic saucepans/frying pan/two sets of crockery (ie 2 dinner plates, 2 bowls etc)
Tea Towels
Door wedge
Clothes airer
Hangers
Dettol spray

Most of which came from our home (do not spend money on new bed linen which will only be laundered once a term nor on kitchen items that either won’t come back home or will be so rank you will ditch them.

I gave my DDs a budget when they went to Uni. They selected what they wanted / needed / could do without. I also took them to their accommodation and once we had unloaded the car took them to the nearest supermarket for a big food shop.

Why would you want your name in lights above your bed?

Humans are baffling.

Wtaf have I just seen? Those surely belong on Hunbeliveable

Different times.

When I went to Uni in 1980 I stayed in a very traditional hall for the first year and bedding was provided as was a breakfast and a main meal every day. I just needed clothes and towels and the odd mug or plate for snacks. Didn't really need to buy anything special.

When DD went in 2014 she needed all her bedding provided and other suggested essentials included a printer. She was in halls for the first year so didn't need much kitchen equipment (we provided that when she moved to a shared house in second year) However I followed the advice I found on a thread on mumsnet and provided a bottle of vodka and a door wedge. I also threw in a cake.

That sounds rather more along the lines of what I was thinking I'd do for my DC.

I thought my parents were lax in their attitude at the time, but they insisted they weren't. I was the only student in my hall not to be dropped off by a parent
But I have no idea what "normal" might be ...

You want your niece to bring her duvet whenever she travels home? Maybe your mum could have bought her a large enough bag to do that 🤔

We had to clear our rooms at the end of term, so it all had to come home with us. Books, sheets, clothes , mug (glasses for the sophisticated). Possibly a tape recorder or radio…..

If it's a catered hall, there's something to be said for what a friend of mine did, which was rock up on the train with just one large bergen.

Parents visited a couple of weeks in, and they shopped together then for all the rest of The Stuff with a slightly better idea of what was wanted/needed

Doesn't really work in self-catering as you need kitchen stuff from the off