OTT Preparations for sending DC to university?

[sheepdogdelight]

I'm on WIWIKAU and am finding the level of preparation that some parents are making for their children going to university to be - a lot ...

When I went to university, my parents dropped me off at the station and I had a rucksack and 2 suitcases as that was all I could carry. I took basically clothes, books and a few kitchen basics that I'd bought from a charity shop. My parents bought me nothing.

By contrast it seems that everyone in WIWIKAU is buying up new sets of bedding, kitchen stuff, piles of stationary, random things that might be useful - it's all paid for and in most cases organised by parents.

I accept that my parents were at the "uninvolved" end of the parental spectrum, but is the WIWIKAU type parent the norm these days? Seems a bit OTT?

I'm not sure why halls don't have shared kitchen stuff anymore? My ds is 18 but taking a year out to decide his next steps. I buy things in the charity shop as I see them. Surely everyone ends with the same ikea kit otherwise? How do they know who owns what or does it all get bought again in year 2? So many questions.

I was a living off my mates floor type who's parents contributed zero not even a lift. I am however very aware university is nothing like my experience now. It was free for a start!

Oh I love wiwikau it's usually really friendly and I really enjoyed the shopping with mine. I can't wait to do it again with DD next year. I do like a list though.

We had a few trips and nice lunches etc, mix of Home sense and charity shops for us. In my head I say wee wee cow not sure if that's right.

I don't want my nice duvets going to halls and I need them for when my friends and family stay over!

My DS1 is going into his last year of uni.

we provided duvet,bedding, first shop and a mini fridge mainly to keep his meds in.
Hes sorted himself out for anything else he needs don’t get the OTT some go to

If you take your duvet from home to university, what happens when you come home for the weekend?

Why are you on WIWIKAU then if you think the people on there are OTT? Just leave.

FWIW I think it’s pretty ordinary to buy bedding, stationery and kitchen stuff for your kid. If I hadn’t taken a duvet to university, I would have been cold at night until I could sort something out. I can’t really understand your point. If I hadn’t taken stationery then I wouldn’t have had anything to take notes with

Why make it harder for the kid?

When my DD went to Uni we dug out old stuff we already owned and then gave her a few quid for the rest. It's harder to buy stuff here than the city she was moving to!

That does seem excessive

ha, I'm finding MNers a bit OTT on preparing offspring for Uni, so I guess Wee-Wee-Cow must be magnificently OTT. All you lot are doing is reminding me that I need to look at Uni stuff with DS this afternoon but I am Too Tired just right now. <sticks fingers in ears> lalalala.

I agree it's just totally different times - I went to Uni in the late 1970s - fully catered halls, all bedding etc provided in my room. I just took a large suitcase ... we didn't have all the technology etc. Then when I went into a house share it was very basic, no student would accept the conditions these days ... one shared bathroom between seven of us . Coin meter for heating that someone rigged up to be able to use free. Rent was dirt cheap though, no deposit or contact ... but no H & S regulations either.

Very different taking my DS to Uni ... although after the first term you do realise they only need about a quarter of the stuff they take.

I’m beginning to feel short changed with my time at uni. No financial help, no shopping, nothing. Just dropped off and told to sort it myself 😂

I'm on this group and generally it is very supportive. I understand that parents have different worries but even I have raised an eyebrow at a few of the posts.

I don't get the new bedding thing. I took my duvet from my bed and 2 cover sets. I took some old pans of my mums and a new frying pan. I just took stuff we already had it got stuff from the charity shop

My mum has just bought my niece all new bedding to leave with next week and I don't get it

it’s because it’s cheap and nobody wants the ballache of having to carry their duvet and pillow home on the bus at the end of every term to save £20 over 3 years. When I went in the 90s almost everyone had pans and plates from the charity shop or “spare” from home and their old duvet cover that was probably 10 years old already because stuff like was relatively a lot more expensive. We didn’t have Tesco and wilko or the middle of Lidl or Aldi selling brand name duvets for the equivalent of 2 pints or really lovely plates for £2.

That said, WIWIKAU hosts a lot of people close to losing the plot. Panic over door wedges and command hooks and “is a mini fridge allowed if it says no fridges?” And bringing camping washing machines and vacuum cleaners and irons into halls. People are taking vans or two cars and vacuum packing stuff but it’s all got to fit in a tiny bedroom at the other end.

My first thoughts

YANBU and all the “my baby”, “precious one”, “kiddo” for a ‘child’ doing a masters), and the FaceTime everyday is 😳

Some of them are so over the top of it’s a reality for the student they’ll probably go off the rails when they get there not knowing what to do with their freedom and being given the chance to be an actual adult.

Op, I was thinking exactly the same. The level of helicopter parenting on WIWIKAU is astounding. The prospective Uni students are young adults that are treated like 7 year old children by their parents who seem to completely organise all the planning, shopping and packing.

My youngest is off to uni and I'm very proud of how self sufficient and organised she has been in her preparations. Of course we are here to help and support if she needs us but surely part of the university experience should be standing on your own two feet as a stepping stone towards adulthood.

Bedding and some basic cooking stuff

@imnotthatkindofmum I don't get the new bedding thing. I took my duvet from my bed and 2 cover sets.

So what did you sleep on when you go home during the holidays and for visits if you took the duvet?

my parents bought me some basic kitchen bits to take with me, and I took my duvet / bedding from their house. I was at uni (like most people) in a city so could go and buy anything else I needed!

Don’t forget to put name tags on everything…

I went to university over 20 years ago and it was the norm for your parents to drop you off and collect you. And to buy kitchen stuff, bedding etc.

Not familiar with the specific website though.

Do MNers realise that some parents dont have a convenient stash of boxed up old things ? The old things are literally my things. I don't buy new plates, mugs and cutlery on a whim.

Let parents do what makes them, and their DCs, settled and happy. Every family has their own ways.

I just bought mine a toastie maker. My bad.

I don’t understand why it’s inconceivable to buy new bedding for someone moving into halls. I think it would be bizarre not to! They come home for Christmas, holidays etc. are they to lug the duvet around with them? It’s about £7 for a duvet and the same for a duvet cover set.

I went to Uni 30 years ago and I was taken there by DM in her car, with all the stuff you actually need - bedding & towels / mugs / kettle / clothes / books. I spent loads of money buying posters and alpaca shit in freshers week. I was in a college which served breakfast lunch and dinner though so didn't need catering equipment. DS has just left home & have brought him the same plus plates / cutlery etc as he's in a house which had nothing and it's self catering. You just get them what they need - new duvet is ikea as the one in his room is good quality and I want it for guests 😁

Everyone does it differently, there is no prize for being under or over involved.

Normal is what you and your DC feel comfortable with.