Separate bedrooms = happy marriage?

[DreamToNightmare]

For the last week I have been sleeping in our eldest son’s room (sofa bed) and Good Lord, I have been sleeping so soundly!!

Normally I’m disturbed by my husband’s snoring, his fidgeting, his getting up for a wee twice a night and feeling chilly because he likes the bedroom window open a little at night.

It’s been like heaven this last week not having to deal with that!

This morning he joked about me preferring to share a room with our son than him and I laughed it off when inside I was thinking “Hell yes I do” 😂

Im due to move back to our bedroom tonight and feeling a bit disappointed because this set-up is glorious.

Last night, once the children were asleep, me and DH went to our room, we watched the latest episode of a series we are watching amongst chatting about our days, then we had sex, then we said our goodnights and then I left and went to my sofa bed, read a few chapters of my book before then settling down and getting a wonderful sleep.

My husband has bought me up a cup of tea in bed this morning and now he’s downstairs dealing with the children and their breakfasts etc.

Its bliss and I could certainly get used to this.

I’m sure having separate rooms in the unspoken rule of happy marriages 😂

Yeah but over night you should be there to support your partner.People don't just sleep.They have panic attacks,sleep walking,partner upset because they can't sleep,I could go on.Both of us have suffered all of these and most of the time your other half's there for you to help calm you down ,talk you back to sleep ,rub your back.All stuff that needs immediate attention .I didn't want to veer onto middle of the night activities(men on sex threads).But not all of it starts before you go to sleep,it can happen over night at anytime.
Shame a man couldn't come on and back me up.My wife snores in my ear,ALOT,the duvet gets pulled off me but I wouldn't dream of resorting to seperate beds...just my opinion.

I think it's very obvious that is not a typical situation with night panic attacks for majority of population... You can't judge people based on your unusual situation.

Neither of us needs any support at night, we however, don't deal well with lack of sleep so end up moody and with brain fog

And sex can happen anytime even during the day not just in bed. That argument is bit like saying "how do people have sex if they don't shower together like my DH and I". Different horses for different courses. Someone prefers bed, someone sofa. As long as the couple in question is happy, all os good

My Mom used to sleep in my bedroom. I hated it. I never had any privacy and left home as soon as I was able to.

We’ve been seperate for a few years now and we both sleep way better.

But, we don’t chat before sleep, or snuggle, or wake up together. We definitely have sex less. I wouldn’t say its a happier marriage. We definitely have way more sleep 😀 but…

I think the key is separate bathrooms!

Why would a husband/wife not want to cuddle up to a partner in a nice warm bed after a long day at work

Menopausal sweats, snoring, insomnia, fidgeting, shift working. Lots of reasons.

Me and my husband have been together over 20 years, but soon as peri hit, that was it. He was a snorer anyway, which was always a bug bear.

I have to swap sides on the bed and flip over the covers sometimes when I am having a bad night with the menopause.

Works for us and I'm not sure people know, but I'll let the naysayers into a little secret......you don't only have to have sex in bed! I know - whodathunkit!

Some people may lose intimacy, but it's not always the case as many, many people have stated on here.

Oooh yeah actually 😂 we got two toilets for 2 people so yeah!

Good luck with that if you have kids..unless you have an en suite I suppose. I'm not going there🙂
Yea window flung open ,dog hates it because no fur coat and I'm freezing.Still no seperate beds happening anytime soon here.
It would be interesting if you asked your partner deep down if they're happy with the arrangement

Separate houses anyone?

Nah. Mine does the floor cleaning and I don't like it so same house works for me😂

Yeah but over night you should be there to support your partner.People don't just sleep.They have panic attacks,sleep walking,partner upset because they can't sleep,

I imagine a tiny, tiny, percentage of adults suffer in this manner. And I’m sure that in those circumstances then the couple would bed share if one was so dependent on the other.

But those aren’t the kind of circumstances we are talking about…..we are talking adults who are able to sleep independently.

Blimey!!!

What age were you until she left your room?

Thankfully my son is only 8 so he loves having me in there. I couldn’t imagine sharing with him in this manner when he is about 10 though….I think that would be my cut off.

It would be interesting if you asked your partner deep down if they're happy with the arrangement

And if he isn’t happy then what? The OP should move back into a joint room, suffer, shut up and be a good little wife?

I've been married over 30 years and never had a panic attack or needed my DH to rub my back at night . That level of intensity & co-dependency would horrify me ... but each to their own ...

That world is not my world. So what you're saying is alien to me. I've never needed my bloke to rub my back or whatever else in the middle of the night.

Tough cookie I is not.A panic attack is really frightening and painful and especially bad when over your heart.The worst one I had lasted half an hour and I was really glad my wife was there because I really thought it was a heart attack.The wife has a different type that she after a couple of years still finds difficult to deal with.She also suffers acid reflux.Bad ass people that don't suffer anything ,well I wish we were one of them.

Then you find compromise like few nights over the weekend etc.
It doesn't work if one is unhappy. Either both happy or both somewhat unhappy🙈

And I Swear anyone waking me up because they want sex or because they can't sleep would get told in no uncertain terms

Sorry forgot about the op just meant generally with partners on here..not necessarily husbands.

I’m menopausal, sleep badly and often wake up with a headache.

My husband snores like a train. I would have happily slept separately, but my husband “liked having me there” . He slept with earplugs in but rubbished my suggestion that he snored loudly, and always threw back that I snored as well.

Then I overheard him talking to his mates about their hotel bookings for a cycling trip. They had all agreed that they wouldn’t share rooms because their snoring was too loud.

I know for a fact that a couple of the other wives had the same problem as me.

So there you go ladies, it’s true that your husbands snore loudly, but it doesn’t matter because you are only wives. It’s only men who mustnt be disturbed by someone else’s snoring.

We no longer share a room and I don’t get the morning headaches very often.

Separate houses even better.

Your DH sounds very controlling. Mine was the same, tried to stop me sleeping separately. I went ahead and did it anyway and 5+ years later we both prefer it.

Just do it!

Reminded me of your post tonite,the title of the thread being..Seperate beds=Happy marriage?,in our case definitely not.We bed share because we want to not because we are of the small percentage that rely on each other because of illness,we just happen to suffer from much more common complaints than you think,weirdly overnight.
Tonight my DW woke up with alot of expletives shouting about pain in both her legs.Half asleep I said get up and walk it off.It worked until she tripped over the dog,I ended up rubbing her back 🙂her sitting down in shock.
Then an hour later,no joke ,she started hiccupping while asleep ,usual light snoring aswell really freaked me out so I woke her up.
Anyway apologies for digging the thread up again,I sincerely hope the op gets what she wants🙂

Been doing it for yrs. both get a perfect nights sleep. Double beds are only for convenience