Separate bedrooms = happy marriage?

[DreamToNightmare]

For the last week I have been sleeping in our eldest son’s room (sofa bed) and Good Lord, I have been sleeping so soundly!!

Normally I’m disturbed by my husband’s snoring, his fidgeting, his getting up for a wee twice a night and feeling chilly because he likes the bedroom window open a little at night.

It’s been like heaven this last week not having to deal with that!

This morning he joked about me preferring to share a room with our son than him and I laughed it off when inside I was thinking “Hell yes I do” 😂

Im due to move back to our bedroom tonight and feeling a bit disappointed because this set-up is glorious.

Last night, once the children were asleep, me and DH went to our room, we watched the latest episode of a series we are watching amongst chatting about our days, then we had sex, then we said our goodnights and then I left and went to my sofa bed, read a few chapters of my book before then settling down and getting a wonderful sleep.

My husband has bought me up a cup of tea in bed this morning and now he’s downstairs dealing with the children and their breakfasts etc.

Its bliss and I could certainly get used to this.

I’m sure having separate rooms in the unspoken rule of happy marriages 😂

@mondaytosunday

A good friend has always had separate bedrooms, and now they've progressed to separate houses! Separate bathrooms seem a really good idea even if sharing a bedroom."

^
How is that a marriage though ?

We had some friends that had separate beds for ten years.It was not his choice and the dogs i'm sure were very happy about sharing her bed.They are divorced now.

My DH and I have always slept in separate bedrooms as we keep each other awake with annoying night time habits—we both get up to pee in the night at different times; he snores and sometimes screams in his sleep; I sometimes cough, blow my nose and clear my throat. We love each other and meet up in my bed when we want cuddles and more. Works great for us. Neither of us are civilised when tired and sleep deprived.

Separate rooms here since I hit the menopause and it's been a marriage saver. I like a freezing room and sleep under just a sheet, he likes a warm cosy room and a thick duvet. He's a morning person, I'm a night owl. We both snore.

@DreamToNightmare if your DH always gets up for a wee twice a night he should consider going to his GP to get his prostate checked.

If you are both asleep or trying to sleep are you really spending quality time together ? .

Obviously each to their own and all that, but I despair when I read about adults who want to sleep alone but don't because 'their husband/wife doesn't like it'.

My parents have had separate rooms for the last 20 years since I moved out due to Mt dm snoring.They prefer it! Married 48 years

We’ve slept in separate bedrooms for the last 6 months. My peri-menopause swung it. It’s bliss. Also much easier for DH when I have trouble sleeping.

Hug and roll. Nowt worse when someone's lying on you.

My bedroom would have to be yanked out of my cold dead hands tbh. Can't stand sleeping next to another adult.

Or in other words.... Needy!

Why is it his choice. Is he going to follow you around the house holding a pillow?

I'll never get those who would like it but their partner refuses. So what if they refuse?

It works for us. We both snore but my snoring upsets DH a lot. I sleep in the spare room which suits me because it is cooler and shadier. We often start off together at the weekends but I then slink off.

Most nights we sleep together, but it is lovely to have the option to take myself off to the sofa bed in my study if one of us is poorly, or snoring.

No, I absolutely LOVED sharing with my late husband. Not rose tinted glasses, neither of us snored, I'd sleep with my head on his chest or we'd both turn the same way like spoons!
I slept on the sofa for years after I lost him, simply to have the back of the sofa pressed against my back. :-)

Aw @mamabear715 it is a change when you are used to it and slept well like it. My mum is widowed and had problems with sleep as well.

No not for me.

In hindsight separate sleeping was another nail in the coffin of my marriage.

Separate beds = road to separate lives.

Separate beds = road to separate lives.

For some, absolutely. For some absolutely not.
This is the problem with it and why it is seen as "it should be secret" sadly

Maybe your the one with the bad habits then 😂😂

Live in a four bedroom house 2: bathrooms plus downstairs loo , soooo 1: bedroom and 1 bathroom each very happy days .we been together for 35 years 😁

We started sleeping in separate beds a few years ago when one of us had a cold. Now we are so comfortable about it that we even have separate beds when camping!

It was the night that my DH woke up to me looming over him with a pillow which I was just about to use to put him to sleep permanently, that we decided we could no longer continue to sleep in the same room! No kiddin', after 7 nights on the trot with no sleep at all due to his loud and constant snoring, I was literally about to suffocate him just to get some sleep. That was about 10 years ago, and like others I do sometimes feel that I have to justify it, although I don't know why. Interestingly, we run a holiday let with 2 bedrooms but only let it to a maximum of 2 guests, due to a bad experience we had in the early days. However, we haven't lost any business by doing it, as so many couples like to sleep separately, and say how great it is that there are two double/king beds.

How do you suggest this to a partner thoug?

Why should it be a secret??
Two people can sleep however they like!

I was just giving my own personal experience.

This is me!!! I’ve thought this for years too. It would be a dream come true.

Id love to sleep in separate beds and we do have the room but DH won’t hear of it sadly, I’m jealous of all those who do!

Nothing wrong with that sometimes it's good for a relationship to show affection to need someone/each other.
I'd be gutted if partner wanted separate beds,cant believe it's men that instigate this.But if your partner wants it..what can you do.

You can do all of that without sharing a bed. People have some strange ideas about it.

Sharing beds is a throwback to poverty. It was to keep warm and other necessary stuff. Human adults tend to sleep better alone.

What makes me laugh is the stark contrast to these threads and co sleeping or even same room sharing with little kids. Babies and small children are expected to sleep by themselves but grown adults cannot.

It's weird.