So, I think I might be U and a bit snappy. The backstory is that I feel that DH has form for putting the kids (6 and 4) and I behind his own wants every single time. It’s small things but they really add up. It’s a quality that’s served him well in life, and he’s been successful but I don’t think he can change it, even for his family. So for example, all our holidays, days out etc revolve around what he wants. He’ll book late evening flights/ cinema showing because they’re most convenient for him, then the kids will be tired and act up. If I leave him to order a takeaway by himself, he’ll think nothing of ordering 4 spicy dishes that the kids won’t eat. He’ll only want to go on family days out to ‘grown up’ theme parks which he enjoys but not a ‘childish’ day out. He decided he needs a music studio (hobby) so he’s sound proofed and taken one of the bedrooms in the house, leaving the kids to share the box room. If I let him choose a film for family movie night, he’ll choose one that’s too scary and then the kids have nightmares. So on and so forth.
So on to tonight’s argument. DH loves going out for leisurely brunches at the weekends. Before kids, and even when they were babies, this was not an issue. However, the kids get up at 6 and are absolutely starving if made to wait for breakfast till 10 when DH is up/ showered.
add to that, DS6 is a fussy eater. If I can feed him a proper breakfast at home, he eats really well but out at new brunch places it’s basically an 80% chance he won’t eat anything nutritious and then be a pain in the afternoon. Literally, at least fortnightly DH will pipe up on a Friday night ‘I know, let’s have a relaxed brunch out tomorrow’. Then I either have to go along with his plan which makes my Saturday harder or say no and be a ‘misery guts’. Today he suggested brunch at a new vegan place. I said it would be easier to do lunch instead. After dinner he started again about how excited he was for brunch at this new place. I got exasperated and said, ‘I assume you’ve checked the menu to see they have something for the kids?’
he’s just gone up to his studio in a huff that I’m a misery. Obviously I would also like to be fun and spontaneous but I feel like either I’m the one who has to think about practicalities or deal with the fallout from his plans. So bloody sick of it.
so go on, Aibu, let me have it. Am I a fun sucking, boring misery guts or does anyone understand my perspective?