To think he is a prick or am I being petulant.

[deeplydisappointed]

Granted , I'm exhausted and hormones are fucked so I didn't say much on our two hour journey in the car.
We have arrived at our destination , a pretty town renowned for its food and atmosphere and are staying ina. Stunning hotel.
We have business to attend to in this town tomorrow.
My partner and I are together for the last two years. We don't live together but spend every weekend together.
We both have kids and full time work etc.
For the last year, he has been coming to mine as he essentially lost his home to divorce and rents are so astronomical that firstly a house cannot be got and secondly , he couldn't afford one for himself and his kids, on top of maintenance etc.
He lives with family for now.
So he has come to mine every weekend.
This is not a problem. I loathe to leave my home at weekends when my kids are at their dads and my partner and we split costs well.
I do crave a weekend away or a holiday but for many reasons that I won't go into, it's not possible. He is presently unwell.

So we are here and when we get here, despite staying in a stunning room in a stunning town, he lays on the bed and flicks on the tv. I also lay on the bed. I'm wrecked and again very unbalanced hormonally.
He passed some comments when I got excited about being here , to the effect of ... it's only a bed/ hotel room.

We're not even paying for it .. company card!

I felt he was a fun sponge and said it.
I said a few hours ago that i wasn't hungry right then when he asked about dinner plans.
Then after nine, I asked what we'd do for dinner.
He announced that the bar was closed( for food)
He knew this, I didn't .
He doesn't have a great appetite right now.
We had an argument.
He suggested I take his car and drive up town to get food for myself.
I feel like finishing with him.
The thoughtlessness, the selfishness and the pure self absorption.
I just want to go home but we have to stay for this event tomorrow .
AIBU ?

I bet it does.

Quite likely he's punishing you but will come back in a few days when he decides he'd like a weekend at yours again.

Think long and hard about his treatment of you.

He's a selfish arsehole who rained on your parade.

Keep remembering his singing in the shower and then coming out and ignoring you.

THAT is who he really is.

You deserve so much better.

Reach out to friends and family this weekend and mind yourself.

I saw your updates @deeplydisappointed, he was very callous to you. I hope you find someone who will take more care of you in the future.

Thanks.
I think I'm better off alone and need a lot of space and time to make self now

Shoulder squeeze from me. I hope you will feel better soon (you will).

Thanks @TheNestedIf I feel so used tonight.
BUT there is an element of me that is wholly relieved tbh

Op
Stick to your guns now - I'd actually block him so he can't come back grovelling at the weekend when he realises his maid is t available.

You're better off out of this trust me . My first impression was he's a prick .
My last impression is he's a prick .

Look after yourself.

Oh and yeah viral meningitis isn't nice - but my son has bacterial meningitis. Ok he was 3 so probably recovered faster but I'm going to stick my neck out here and say I actually think your dp just enjoys being pandered to and could quite feasibly have mustered up a bit of enthusiasm for a weekend away and a dinner a lift ride away .

Hold on to that feeling of being relieved.

You have been worn out by that selfish twat.

Look after yourself and block him.

I am baffled by the last page of comments. OP your behaviour was petulant, you treated this man badly and I am not surprised he decided it was enough. The good news for you is that now you don’t have to put up with him anymore as you seemed to hold him in contempt anyway. I think you will both be better off without the other.

agreed. can’t understand the way OP spoke about his inconvenient illness while using her own to excuse her sulking

You don't love him. If you did, you'd be thinking of him when he's been so ill. That's not a criticism - it's just a fact. My partner (we don't live together either) has a health condition which means that things that would be lovely (like romantic nights away) aren't on the cards. But I'd rather have him than romantic nights away. If you don't feel like this, he isn't the man for you, and you are not the woman for him.

So you were silent all the way there. Maybe he took that as you being disinterested hence turning tv on? Took your rejection of food at the time as being again not interested?

Just sounds like basic miscommunication to me - on both parts. Maybe if he’s not well & he drove?? he needed to relax on bed with tv as soon as arrived? Maybe not as bad a gesture as it seemed? Maybe if he’s unwell & a work trip he’s not seeing it as a weekend away for the two of you - esp as you say you’re both “wrecked”?

Obvs he’s not aware you’re feeling that him coming to yours every w/end is more than you’d really considered & that you want /need some acknowledgement of that.

But then he can’t mind read.

Or he is genuinely a fun sponge. Just sounds like crossed wires from both of you.

Jesus this guy is the epitome of cock lodger.

The op has done all the giving and he does all the taking.

This is nuts . Viral meningitis isn't an excuse 6 months later to be a total lazy knob devoid of caring .

The op has put him up every weekend , Cooked , she asked for one thing on a weekend away and he sucked all the joy out of it then sulked when she went for food because he didn't want to go for dinner .

I'd have given up long ago . He's disinterested in her feelings , taking her for granted and sulks when he doesn't get his own way .

I never say this - but it's a ltb from me .
Op deserves more respect than this . She's nursed him for 6 months - it's a virus - not a
Death sentence . He sounds like a self obsessed man with no regard for his partner at all .

I'm sorry to see your last few updates, OP - you sound totally worn down.

Regardless of the situation about the night away, the stonewalling and sulking and blocking should be enough for you to see what sort of man he is.

I also agree with a lot of the comments around how low the bar is for some women - it doesn't sound to me like OP has ignored his needs or rode roughshod over his wants. She sounds caring and giving, opening her house to him on her DC free time and accepting the loss of nights out and fun activities whilst he recovers from his illness.

To not even take pleasure from her pleasure at being away is so strange to me - I fucking loathe Peppa Pig but seeing my DCs joy when they met 'her' at a stupid meet and greet thing made me warm inside. Going to the wrestling with my ExH wasn't really my thing but his excitement and happiness was contagious and made me happy too.

I hope you're feeling ok, OP - I'd see if any of your good friends (maybe one of the 5 who've expressed worry for you recently) is free tonight and head out to be with someone who truly cares for you

On reflection, I actually think he is controlling me and has been in ways over the last two years.

Sorry wrong thread!

I certainly think he is a selfish self absorbed man that has certainly had you run ragged.

I hope some space and much needed rest helps you to see the truth of your situation.